I couldn't think of a better group of people to get advice from. Just a few things to point out so this doesn't turn into the longest post ever (which I have a feeling it will). I am a single mother of three, ages ranging from 8-11. Their father and I have been separated for almost seven years now. He spends a few hours with them on the weekend and some holidays if he is not scheduled to work. It doesn't take a rocket scientist to figure out that he is not strict with the kids. He tries to buy their love with materialistic things. I am the complete opposite. Although I make more money than he does, I do not believe in frivolous spending. I do not give into their every single demand. I would be broke if I did. That was just the backstory. Just last month he agreed to start giving them an allowance, $10 every two weeks for each of the older kids and $5 for the younger one. Since I have been promising them for awhile I would be giving them an allowance, I thought I would give the same amount as their dad (not as a competition). My son already saved $65 and bought a new pair of sneakers yesterday when he went out with his dad, while I was working. He already owns four other pairs, one of which he swears is too tight on him. I just want to raise money conscious children, that do not love spending all their money. My daughter already gave away $10, because she claims she owed her friend that lent her the money when she didn't have anything. I am starting to have mixed feelings about them having money.
*What is an appropriate amount of allowance?
*Should I have rules about how the money is spent?
At the same time, I want them to learn how good it feels to save money and how awful it feels to have nothing when they spend it all. Aside from that, I did start passbook savings accounts for them. I let them fill out the deposit slips and they actually make the deposits at the teller's window themselves. Every few months, I will give them $100 and it goes into that account. They know it is for the future and not for use today.
That was one topic. The next one is about girls trying to impress other girls. My daughter is 11 and she is one of the kindest and sweetest girls. However, she was recently body shamed by her own friends. They made a comment about her weight. She is on the thinner side of the scale, but completely healthy. I've always known my daughter to be confident, but she keeps going back to these same mean girls. I have been trying to teach her the value of friendships and how we need to cut people out sometimes if they do not make us feel good on the inside. Anyone have any words of advice or had a daughter in a similar situation. I want her to feel strong enough to speak up against them, as I know they are mean to other kids. There is still so much more I want to add, but I could already imagine the look on all your faces when you see the length of this post. Thanks!