You are going to be an AMAZING nurse!!!
You need to believe this statement because it is true.
Nursing is a very difficult field, and honestly nursing school does not fully prepare you for what life will be like on the floor on your own. I had a very similar experience when I first started on the Cardiac PCU floor that I am currently on. I felt like a complete idiot and made many mistakes when I first started on this unit and what made me feel even worse is that I had been an LPN before getting my first RN position in a hospital on this unit. For months I would arrive early to work just to cry and have an anxiety before my shift would start. I had some co-workers/ and a particular team lead that would make condescending statements that would crush my confidence, but then I had many others (THANK GOD!) that would help me when I needed guidance.
I don't like to TELL people what to do, but I think that even if you are terminated from this position that you should find another RN job. Of course you feel like you are still learning, you are a new nurse. A year later, I still learn something new on each shift. DO NOT let that discourage you, thats just how nursing is, especially when you are new. The reason why there are new grad nursing residency program is to eliminate experiences like the one you are having now. You are right, it is important to be a safe nurse,I completely agree. But to be honest I have made some of the same mistakes you have and so have other nurses on my unit. I'm not saying that you should just brush these mistakes off and move on, but you should just use them as learning experiences and not let them eat you up inside. That can be a hard thing not to do because as a nurse, you want to help and heal your patients, not harm them. Take your time, You will be a great nurse, I can tell you truly care for your patients. So be it at this hospital or another, just keep your head up and keep trying. It may help for you to seek employment at a hospital with a nurse residency program that is more supportive. Good luck!