A New Start

I respectfully disagree. You sound as if your attempts at assertiveness have not gone as well for you, as for some men you have seen. That rationale sounds like reverse sexism. I'm sure you didn't mean it that way. Could you be judging your success by the other persons reaction? Even when successful, assertiveness can be unconfortable for all involved. I'll agree that some people expect and accept some aggression from men (unfortunately). But I think the ladies have a great advantage when they interject loving correction. There is is left nothing to oppose. If I didn't understand you, practice on me! A New Start

Also, don't mark your communication success strictly by the other person's reaction. Effective communication is like playing catch. It takes both parties to succeed. Just calmly take responsibility for your side. A New Start

The difference between being assertive and aggresive is the object of your discussion. If you are confronting a line of reasoning, or communication method, you are assertive. If you are attacking the person, you are agressive. Example after a rude remark from a superior..... Assertive: "Your tone of voice and body language indicate disrespect. I would like the same respect I show you" Aggressive: "Back off Jack!" Preceptor tells you to give an insulin injection without an Accucheck. Assertive: "I need to understand the rationale of that before I can proceed." Agressive. "You can't make me do that!" Cool headed, respectful, and fearless speech mark assertiveness. Name calling, threatening, attacking emotionalism mark aggressiveness. Remember, you can always start over by saying, "I'm sorry. Let me say that more accurately." You push and I'll pull, A New Start

Oh, and yes there will be things you don't like. I hated OB. So what? I helped some hurting girls. Most young enough to be my daughter. You'll find something you don't like about ANY job! But is it for you? Is that what draws you to nursing? Careful! Its for them. Those who are suffering. Good luck and God Bless you in your choice. Sorry if I sounded like a mean old Warrant Officer............................ ;-) A NEW START

I was pinned last Wednesday night on my birthday. I turned 54 that night. My HESI exit scores were in the top 7% of the nation. Yes, I have socks older than some of my class mates. So what? Its not that I'm that smart. I just have a great work ethic. And thank God for the women that have encouraged me. You can't blame the girls if you don't follow your dream. You listen to the people that support your beliefs. I had strong women teach me how to pull up my BGPs and fall in! Put on your gloves, grab some wipeys and let's go clean some dirty butts, love the unlovely, and ignore the the bitter characters that should have quit long ago! I understand self doubt. About 18 months ago, I came and asked some of the same questions.. there are some good people here. Hang around the positive people and get off your butt, sailor! 30 years old...............too old............good grief. A NEW START

I'm 5' 10" ; weigh 260 and i'm 53 yrs old. Where they at? I'll send those perverts to therapy! All kidding aside. I was worried about nudity too. (Not my own). I took a C.N.A. course first. It helped me work that out. Follow your heart. For me when I was first told, "God sent you to me" I was healed! So come on in. Your modesty will cause you to treat the sick and dying with respect. Keep your soft heart, and don't suffer fools! You push, and I'll pull. A New Start

You sound like you still have one foot in and one foot out. Are you too afraid of critical care or not called You have done what you wanted to do. Now what you want to do. Decide,. Then put them BGPs on and do it! Your admirer, A New Start

Look at the length and tone of your rant. You sound every bit as whiney as the people you complain about. I agree many of the folks are too sensitive. Most are younger. They just lack the skills or the confidence to defend themselves. But its the responsibility of us elders to give them a good professional example. I've witnessed many a pigtailed RN get abused by a Dr, or an old burned out nurse that should have quit a long time ago. Everyone in this business has seen the toxic culture of many nursing teams. Its just true. I'm fortunate. 90% of women and men I've worked with are pros that I want to emulate. You said you're entitled to have a bad day. If you try to take your bad day out on me, I'll put you in your place, fast! And I'm a 53 year old LVN student. I don't know why the bullies don't pick on me, but they dont. Now if whiney posts bother you, go away. But don't just come on here and puke. You said you didn't like it yourself. I'm lucky. I respect my colleagues, and they respect me. All the way from the top to the bottom. We leave most our problems at home. And we keep one another accountable. We do care for one another on the side as time permits. Mostly, we remind one another of the folks whose feelings are most important. The patients. It's about our patients. Keep coming back. A New Start

Just a couple of hours south of Lubbock. The pay is better than Lubbock, and I haven't seen any grad that was serious, unemployed. Come on down! A New Start

It helps me to remember what I'm bringing them. I'm bringing mercy. Here's an example. The other day I had to remove a JP drain. Pt had a new LUQ colostomy, a central line, JP line, a NG tube, a foley, and an IV. It was my first contact with her and I introduced myself and asked her if she was ready to get rid of some tubes. "I sure am!". I want this thing pout of my nose!". I said, "I want to pull it to, but if I did, you'd go to throwing up, and I don't wanna me in here helping you heave with that sore belly, do yopu?". Quickly, she said "No sir". I said , "Well the best one to start on will be that belly line with the bulb on it. It'll be a little uncomfortable coming out, but you'll feel better when its done. And we'll be one step closer to home.". She was ready to go! You see what I was doing? We were talking about what she wanted....freedom from those tubes. Please don't take this the wrong way, but don't think about your nerves. Think about theirs! You'll immediately feel more confident and so will the Pt. Nothing to be nervous about. You have been appointed as one of the lucky people chosen to dispense mercy. Its right up there with forgiveness. Wow! Good luck! Hang tough! You push and I'll pull. A New Start

I'm 53 and graduating in August. You go girl! We're all proud of you.:uhoh3::redbeathe:cheers::kiss:):thankya::yelclap: Hang around here when you need some strength and hope, and come back it you have some to give. A New Start

To me, its the wrong question. Are you called? Not are you too old! Tell me. Am I too old? I'm 53. I'm in the 7th month of an LVN program. I have 4 grown kids and 7 grandkids. I'm barely hanging on to a 4.0 grade average. I'm not making much money. Occasional PRN as a CNA. My mother in law had a serious CVA (stroke) in my first week of school. I've had to play a strong advocate role for her all the way through months of hospitalization and rehab. I have to keep her meds straight (they change all the time) and I've gotten pretty good at assessing CHF (Congestive Heart Failure) signs and symptoms. Oh, and did I tell you I'm in my 7th month of an LVN program? The first 3 weeks of my second term nearly did me in. We took 8 hours lecture every day. We had 100 to 250 pages to read every night. Then we had a quiz every morning to prove we read it. And the whole cycle began again. I felt like I would fall. I suffered terrible informational overload. My comprehension went down. I had to start reading my assignments 2 or 3 times. I told my wife I wasn't going to make it. She told me to put my big girl panties on, and stay in there. That's when I made a couple of B's on major tests. That's what endangering my 4.0. I was a B student 35 years ago. Tell me. Am I too old? Every time I think I'm going to have to quit, one of the younger students tell me I inspire them. Or a patient reaches out to take my hand and thanks me. Last week I looked around me and noticed the young people are tired too. Are they too young? I think I might have mentioned I'm 53 and in the 7th month of an LVN program. Pardon me. Old men repeat themselves. If you decide to step up, expect to be hammered. Expect to have doubts. Expect some of your friends and family to think you're crazy. But DON'T DO IT if your partner isn't ALL IN! Because, bless their heart, they will learn more about bodily functions than they want. And they won't see you as much as they need. The school will call you an alternative student. The teaching staff will support you but not give you any slack. You don't want it. Because you don't want to kill anyone when you get out! I'm not trying to scare you off. I just want you to pay attention to the real threats. Your age will actually help you. You've had a lot more of these procedures than the kids have. You've taken many of the meds. Or a family member has. Your life experience will amaze you. You'll feel like you're cheating when you test through some chapters because "you just know". You might take a CNA class to help your decision. The experience will show you if you can live with nakedness, and regular death reminders. And it will help you cruise through basic skills, if you step in. Ask yourself. "If I don't find out if I'm a nurse, what then will I do with the time I have left?" Good luck to you! You push, and I'll pull! I'm sorry I couldn't answer your question. But please! If you would be so kind. I'm 53 and in the 7th month of an LVN program. AM I TOO OLD? A New Start

Try to look for a network of local contacts instead of jobs. People love to help. Ask them to. Good Luck! A New Start

I love pagandeva2000! She's right about not letting people bully you. I'm in the 7th month of my LVN program and I can see bullies coming now. If they ask me what kind of a nurse I'm going to be, I tell them, "A good one." I usually tell them I'll probably end up being an RN, but not till I'm ready. That's why I chose this route. If they push or add another opinion, I usually kindly issue them a dismissal slip. If they continue, I bite them. Do whats fun to you! Life's short. A New Start

No one can tell you whether you are called to be a nurse or not. I get discouraged and doubt myself sometimes. Hang on until you can get some steady patient contact. They will let you know real quick whether you are a nurse or not. I have been a small business person all my life. All businesses are tough! In advertising you would find yourself being yelled at from artists, clients, bosses, pressmen, and competing sales people. Newbies and students in all professions are targets. Treat the bullies with "screaming silence". Call them to the side for a one on one. Listen. Listen. Learn. Learn. Then, and only then..............If they persist, go to your bully's supervisor. Tell them you would like to work out your differences with a referee. They will admire that. It's professionalism. Walk them to the boss a time or two, and it will quit. Think first! What has your behavior been like? Confess any problems you've had quickly. Most of the bullies in this business wear panties and they are usually good people hiding behind a gruff exterior. Get your good feelings about yourself from inside. Do what you have to do to get your goals. Don't listen to the noise. Listen to your heart and your patients. There's a place for you! You can't fail till you quit. You push, and I'll pull. A New Start

Heather- Thanks for asking the guys. I think most guys just don't realize how well they can do this. We've all assumed nursing as more requiring the skill set of a mother than a scientist. I've really enjoyed the systems thinking. (Critical Thinking Wasn't Invented by Nurses!). And I'm not sure why, but my PTs count compassion coming from a man as something special and powerful. That's probably a sad commentary on us guys. Every guy I know doing this had a guiding experience or person (usually a woman or two) that made him aware of the possibilities in nursing. We need all types! And don't pay attention to the people that say there's no shortage. I sold employment advertising before starting school last year. I know the recruiters. The fact they still have jobs and still advertise prove there's a need for good nurses with good attitudes. In West Texas we don't seem to have a hard time employing new grads. Come on over! We 've always needed more hard workers and fewer complainers. The Mullygrubbers are scared they're gonna have to work for a hard working young lady in pigtails! You sic em, girl! I'll work for you. You push, and I'll pull! A New Start

Love the attitude! You'll like being the "old man"! Your gray hair will help you cheat all the way through school. You've either had most of the procedures done to you or a family member. Sometimes I feel like I'm cheating! HaHa! I'm 53 and chose to get my CNA cert and then my LVN. I'll graduate LVN in August and will immediately enter into transitions for ADN. Hope to work some while doing the ADN thing though. The kids will push you along too. They'll look up to you and see how you're doing. Don't kid yourself. The pace is tough. When the kids get tired and want to quit, I love to tell em "I got socks older than you! Pull up those big girl panties and lets go!" The boys hate that! Your age will buy you some respect too, if you're respectable. I kind of feel for the young ones when an instructor, or Dr treats them bad. They don't usually do that but once or twice with me. Finally, you're right about opinions. Hitler had bad opinions, and he had to be stopped. Churchill "Evil prevails when good men do nothing." Good Luck, and keep us informed!

53 years old. Started the program in August. We have 21 students in my flight. 5 are male. Only one person besides me over 30. I've been surprised how much my age has helped. In the past, I've helped care for 6 parents (2 from previous marriage, and one still kicking) and I've got 4 kids and 5 grand kids. I've had several surgeries, hospital stays, and chronic problems myself. (Hope God doesn't get me back for the way I acted) "Been there, done that" helps a lot. School is stressful, and I've had to remind myself I'm not boss anymore several times. Not earning a living bruises my ego, but I'm well married and that helps. I keep putting one foot in front of the other. I've wanted to quit several times already, but coming here helps a bunch. The added humility and patience doesn't hurt me. (Yep, that's a lie) Sometimes I think I drive the class nuts. Hope they get well. The instructors have been very patient with me so far. I'll never forget them. I'm a little crusty, but all my teachers have been charge nurses. They aren't scared and they don't seem to take a challenge personally for the most part. If I persist, I believe these people can lead me to amazing new experiences of participating in many healings to come. Your age doesn't matter. When you get down, come here and share your experience and hope, no matter what it is. Somebody needs it! Break off your quitter. Keep reminding me of that too. Good Luck! Here we go >>>>>> God bless my Instructors! See there? I feel better. I think I'll go get me another bite of fluid/electrolyte balance.

I appreciate the help. Thank you. But after thinking about it this afternoon, I think I'm going to change goals. Nothing I think matters if my mother in law doesn't put those hearing aids in and demonstrate mental competence to the staff. That's what is going to get reported to Medicare and the Drivers License Bureau. So I'm going to find a way to get those hearing aides in her for a few days. I'm going to put the pressure where it belongs. It's up to mom to decide what gives her the best chance for independence. Does she want it? And here's how to get it. I don't have to be rude or cruel, but I can put it in a way her nurses can't. Then after she demonstrates competence, I'll ask for a reassessment. That's supposed to be done periodically anyway. No need to be combative, or overbearing with the staff. As I've said, they have been great. Let the responsibility lay where it belongs. Patience and communication skills usually trump power and domination. I guess I just had to think that through. Thanks again, A New Start

I need help. I started LVN school in August. In the first week my mother in law went into tachycardia a fib and of course went into CHF. Then she had a small CVA followed by a couple of weeks of TIAs. I won't recount the whole thing. Here's the problem. She's always been hard of hearing. In fact, almost deaf. She refuses to wear her hearing aids ("Makes my ears sore!"). She had mental status problems early on after the CVA. But our family noticed that the staff at the various facilities were confusing dementia with her hearing problems. Example on nurse report: Entered room and told Pt, "I have your coumadin." Pt said, "Thank you! I like Kool Aid." Pt frequently answers inappropriately. We have repeatedly asked staff at every facility to ask questions of her to reveal her understanding. She's very good at reading lips, but if she doesn't know you well, that doesn't help much. My wife and I have run this drill dozens of times. We've warned mom about how she comes across when she doesn't answer appropriately. She nods her head and goes right back to playing the "I'm not deaf charade." We're in a great facility now. No complaints at all about the staff. They are transparent and non defensive as they can be. We are at day 22 at this facility. 78 days and counting on Medicare SNF benefits. Rehab has done a super job. She has gained 4 pounds. Performing all ADLs. Blood thinning still difficult to keep in tolerances. (She has a low platelet disorder as well) But she's much better and looking for the door. We're now trying to get a team assessment plan. My wife and I went to the facility yesterday and asked for ALL records. Dr's notes, Nursing notes, Dx s, Rx s, PT and OT assessments..............everything. And they brought them out with no resistance. Yeah team! But here's the problem. She's on Aricept. She was put on it at the LTAC without our knowledge. She was having severe nausea. I found out about it and asked it be dc'd until we talked to the Dr. Nurse says, "OK". Transfer to current SNF. New doctor. I told D.O.N. about Aricept and hearing problem. She said, "Ok. I'll look into that." Yesterday, we find out she's still on Aricept! Dr is never available. Comes in at erratic times. Won't return phone calls. I'm beginning to get PO'd, and I'm not using a medical term here! I found nothing in her notes yesterday about family interaction at any facility though we've had to interject ourselves numerous times. (you don't want to read it all) I'm going to have to do clinical s with some of these folks I've had conflict with. And I hate that. But the fact remains. She is not showing signs of dementia to us! (her family) And nobody listens or takes note of that. Of course her brothers and sisters call her on the amplified phone, and we know to get in her line of site and ask questions to confirm understanding. How do you get the whole team's attention? Am I going to have to call a Medicare or State Omsbudsman? The Joint Commission? The state Department for the Aged and Disabled? The DHHS? The FBI? What!? Someone please give me a kind professional courteous way to at least get this into the record once and for all. I know I'm not a nurse. The staff at the other facilities rolled their eyes and ran from me a lot. I hate that. I'm not trying to be a big shot, or difficult. Just let me know what the plan is. Simply keep us informed. The dementia Dx changes all future planning of course. It may be true and we just have to accept it. That's fine. We just want ALL the incoming data (subjective and objective) considered and noted. Are comments from the family irrelevant to care planning? How do I proceed with determination and professional courtesy? Thanks! I'm glad you're here.

You're getting great feedback. I'm a newbie too. It's helped me. I figured out why some of this is so confusing. Believe it or not, there is no standardized classification system between publishers. What one calls an ACE inhibitor, the other calls a Vasodialator. They are both right. Some drugs are in several classes. Try to learn the classifications your instructor gives you. Learn those effects and plug the drugs in after that. I was told you want to remember the classifications used in clinicals. Hope that didn't muddy the water more. Good luck. Keep plugging. We're eating elephants.............one bite at a time. When I was studying for my investment license, I didn't think I would ever figure out bonds, and futures trading. I felt dumb as mud and kept digging for the pony. I had to get away from it for a while and work on other stuff. Then after a little break, a colleague of mine sat down with me and splained some thins. Actually he made me explain what I thought I knew. And, Ah Hah! It went together. I'm hoping we're going to have some of those times ahead of us. Good luck to you. Don't quit, and don't let me! Haha!

I don't know if this is relevant to your question, but here goes. I'm not out of school yet. Just considering this specialty myself. A family member of mine is an officer in charge of a county detention center. The family member works midnights and the facility handles intakes from all agencies in the area. They use 7 nurses in the jail across 3 shifts. My family member recently reported of a young man being strip searched resulting in a finding of contraband on his person. (search done by the corrections officer) The contraband was a member pin originating at the opening of the urethra, and exiting posterior and inferior of the glans. The screw on the ball at the exit end of the metal pin couldn't be removed by the inmate. Of course, the pin had to go and the man had to stay. Nurse called. The use of pliers and wire cutters helped in no way. The pin was stainless steel. ENTER, the 36" bolt cutters!.................... Upon seeing the bolt cutter, the inmate protested. With the cooperation of ALL AVAILABLE STAFF, the pin was cut at the base of the entrance resulting in no physical injury of the inmate. When it became apparent that the pin was going to come out, the inmate became a picture of compliance. He walked in like this . He walked to his cell like this . In regards to earlier comments. I like what one person said, "We deal with the aftermath." People get hurt on both sides and need calm competent brave assistance. Think of battlefield nurses who treat the injuries of captured enemy. Mental health nurses rarely see good outcomes. Hospice nurses bury their successes. My family member loves and appreciates the nurses at the facility. They do occasionally have conflict when the nurses make command decisions that could impact facility safety. They sometimes forget they are support staff. They lose that fight every time, and they need to. Like all nursing environments, ethical and legal dilemmas abound. I'm not sure yet if it's my gig or not. I just thank God there are people who will step up to help the needy in all types of settings.

I couldn't do it, but I'm a 53 year old coming back to school after many years. I carry 17 hours. One of my 4 hour classes requires 24 outside hours a week in study. I'm making good grades, but that's only because I work it like a full time job. We have people in my class that work, do school, and raise kids. I admire them deeply, but their studies seem to suffer. The folks that are doing well in grades had most of their sciences done before being accepted in the program. They carry a lighter class load than I do. Remember, you only have 168 hours a week. Subtract your optimum sleep time x 7. Don't skimp there. You'll need it! Find out who your program director is and go directly to her/him for advice. Don't go to an admissions counselor. Nursing students are different. She/he knows what it takes. They've taught hundreds of people. Good luck. Don't quit on your dream. You can't fail until you quit!

Thank you for your encouragement. I am completing my second week in school, and I'll have to say the RNs in my life have been real champions. Last week my wife asked me to look in on my mother in law, because she was having increasing swelling in her feet, breathlessness, sleeplessness and a tummy ache. It scared me when I saw her, because she was pail, weak, crying, and making crackling sounds from across the room. Mind you, this girl just quit bowling last year because her average went below 150 and it made her mad. SHE IS 85 years old! I took her vitals. Her pulse was around 115. It was hard to count because of irregularity. Every blood pressure reading (waiting 5 minutes between) was high but different every time, so I didn't trust my skills. (I'm a recent CNA) She had a blood pressure machine and at least it had a hard time too because of the irregularity. It had to read 4 times before it settled on 130/100. She had been sleeping sitting straight up and leaning over a table for several nights and hadn't had a BM for 6 days. (She hadn't told us because she knew her daughter would insist on Dr's visit.) I couldn't read a pedal pulse because of the edema. But when I let go, my finger impression stayed. She felt like memory foam. And I could hear only occasional gut sounds. She didn't want to go to the hospital, but had an appointment the next morning, and she promised to go. I sure didn't want to play doctor, so I wrote a report for my wife with my observations (now I learn that's called an assessment) and it clearly stated I was concerned about possible A Fib, CHF, and impaction. I wish I had put her in the car and took her that night! I'm still kicking myself. My wife went with her the next morning. He didn't have admitting privileges, so he set up x-rays and set appointments 2 and 3 days out with a cardiologist, and a gastroenterologist. We didn't make it to those appointments though. Before she made the first Dr's appointment, her feet started WEEPING water! Enough to SOAK a towel! Our daughter checked on her while I was in school. She put her right in the car and headed for the ER. (Wish I'd have done that on Sunday) Our daughter didn't give her options, just a command presence. I have to remember that one. Sure enough, it was all true. They pulled 14# of fluid off her that afternoon and evening, and got the heart slowed down to around 100 but not back in rhythm. It took two days of enemas and dulcolax to get her bowels going by Sunday morning. But when I got there Sunday morning, I noticed a mental status change and reported it to the nurse immediately. My wife brought things from home to help orient her and I got her a newspaper. She wasn't improving much, so I insisted the Cardiologist be called. Nobody liked that. When he came, he said he would put her on a schedule for a MRI. He suspected a CVA. I couldn't believe it. We suspect a CVA and we're going to get in LINE for a MRI?????!!!! As my daughter says, "NOT!" I threw a fit! Anyway to make a long story short, she WAS having a stroke. I stayed in the room and tried to help calm her. The noise of the MRI had made her very agitated and combative. She thought we were trying to kill her! Some of the nurses were getting tense by then, because I wasn't waiting for anything anymore! Every time they made a decision, I said, "Why?" Bless their hearts. When she got back to telemetry from the MRI, one of the young RNs asked me to leave the room. The rest of the family was outside. I'll never forget what the older charge nurse told her. "Leave him alone. He's one of us. He's a nurse." I said, "A wanna be." She said, "No, you're a nurse." I felt bad for being so assertive earlier. A lot more happened that night. You wouldn't believe all of it, but I'll never forget it. I won't bore you. It wasn't about me. I need to be reading! But my 2nd Mom is in Rehab working to get as much back as she can. My Mom #1 passed away just 7 months ago in the room just a few yards away across the hall. This I promise. I WILL TRUST MY INTUITION AND FIGHT FOR MY PATIENTS FROM NOW ON WHETHER I MAKE IT THROUGH SCHOOL OR NOT! Whether I'm a student, a LVN, an RN or a layman, I'm going to advocate for my those that need me. Honestly though, I don't know if I can take all the drama. You can imagine what my reading comprehension has been like this past week. My teachers keep saying, "Keep going. One foot, then the other." I'm 53 years old. God tugs me to those books. And I remember someone already called me a nurse. But we'll have to see. I'm like a new colt on wobbly knees. But whether I become a "real nurse" or not, I will always admire those of you who stuck it out. I thank God for ALL nurses. EVEN YOU GROUCHY ONES! A New Start

i'm a brand new baby 52 year old lvn student. i've been told, i was accepted to begin in 3 weeks. yep. grandpa is finally putting his big girl panties on, and going to nursing school! this is why i've chosen the lvn route. time. i have procrastinated too long. why do i want to be a nurse (even a lowly lvn)? because i want to help. because i've had wonderful nursing care myself and i've always admired the profession. because i've thought about it for years! because i have a lot to give. this gray hair was bought with a price! because it's facinating! (i didn't know my wife and daughters had gonads until recently) in a moment of clarity a few weeks ago, i made a spreadsheet using data from salary.com and the us department of labor and found out that an average rn makes more than a lpn. duh! but the difference in the average was smaller than i thought. probably due to specialties chosen, experience, shift differentials and more. anyway, i found out that it takes 8 years to recover the difference in money when you account for one additional year of education, and one year lost wages. and we all know most adn programs are really 3 years work in disguise, not 2 years. i'm not saying it's about money. it's about time. i can help a lot of people in 8 years! can i get more education, too? sure. will i? we'll see. as to worrying about someone putting me down? they can bite my sphygmomanometer! you have to get your self esteem from inside. i've been a small business owner or sales person most of my life. i've had titles and money, and i've gone without either one for periods of time. they don't matter. other people's opinion about me don't matter either. what will i do with the time i have left? who will i give it to? live, give, and love, a new start