Hello Box of Rain,
I understand your situation and how you feel. I have experienced something similar. Not all people have the personality and/or temprament to work the floor. Some nuses lives do not allow for the flexibility to work the floor. You have tried three jobs and havent been able to make it work.
You can have a successful career in nursing by trying a job that matches your strengths. Home care, doctor office, school nursing, OR training programs, research, are all areas to look at. Say to employers: I now have hospital and floor nursing experience and realize my strengths and where I can best provide patient care and be successfull.
You can make a good career once you understand that not every nurse is suited to working the floor in an inpatient setting. I hope you realize that all people have strengths and weaknesses. You should not have to take drugs and change your personality for a job.