I usually lurk here in the shadows, occassionally throwing a coment in here and there. I thank you all for being around, even more lately. Some may remember about a year and a half ago, I gradually developed the most horrible pain in my feet and just felt like a balloon with no air left. I thought (like many of us do) it was just work; I have always worked full-time nights, on my feet in a busy ER and Part-time in a NICU. I got a bite that would not heal (Insect) and went to doc several times...we finally drew lab and surprise my glucose was over 900. Needless to say...went in on Insulin IV etc....Got sugars down and kept them in 100's to 200's (am very very resistant). I take 100 units of N TID and 100 units of novolog TID alond with a sliding scale from below. It took endo 3 months to get down to that dose (no the zeros are not typos) (metformin and byetta are helping) I hate going in the hospital because my fellow nurses think I am an idiot when I tell them my doses...even with documentaton already on file. Anyway, finally got my feet under control and things were much better.
Then, about 9 months ago, while at work; I suddenly couldnt see out of my right eye. then I noticed little hairs across my left eye. Finished shift out of necessity. Went to eye doc that day. Surprise....hello retinopathy and bleeds. Had bilateral Vitrectomies and the laser surgeries(twice). Now I can not see to drive, chart, start iv's on large muscled guys with ropes for veins much less babies. Everything is curvy and unfocused to see. I also have developed uncontrolled HTN that we cant seem to get meds to take care of (we have tried many). I lost from 320 lbs to 180 and that still hasnt helped. I also have developed SVT....had a heart cath gone bad (developed pseudoaneurysm, had to have thrombin injections) But dig has controlled the svt since then along with atenolol.
Well, through everything but the loss of vision I have kept working, but I dont now because I feel that I am unsafe because i am not able to see what I am doing. While working, the EMS brought in a patient, we went to move him (6 foot, 220 lbs) we went on three....but the patient was still strapped to the ems stretcher (ems student forgot that strap and the blanket was over it). well, we all know, force goes somewhere....well, my back audibly popped and bam...herniated disc. Cant have surgery, doing PT, helps some but not much....My doc put me on duragesic patches....I chose to quit taking them (I didnt do anything but sleep on them)but the withdrawal was a tiger:banghead:. We made it through that though. I now take nothing because my doctors cant decide who should address what...I would love it if we had a pain clinic here. I am maxed on neurontin, tramadol, and diclofenac.
I have also developed gastroparesis and vomit often and always feel nauseous. I just had a bezoar broke up in my stomach and was put on reglan. have more test this coming week to get an "official" diagnosis. It almost seems funny to do the test now....it seems that forming a "bezoar" of "rotting vegetative matter"(as my gi put it)would be enough.
You know I just looked back at my post....maybe I should write a book.:chuckle (i just did) Well, the point of this post is just that I am so discouraged and a little depressed. I feel so lost...work is what defined me and what I was...I am having a little trouble finding myself and seriously wonder what I can do to have a quality of life. I enjoy your posts, my daughter reads them to me sometimes. If get the fonts big enough I can read them on my own. I have applied for SS but still have 2 more doctor appts to go through, it has been 5 months total of waiting so heres to more waiting.