Thought I had overcome all the adversity from last semester...all the trouble I've been having with one particular professor for whom I can do nothing right has seemed to disapate. Last semester I was in danger of failing this professor's class three weeks into the semester...I transferred out to another class, another professor and recovered with a "B" as my final grade...got a 94 on my final up from the 70s.
This semester I'm back with the professor from hell but I've been getting the grades on exams and cruising through clinicals without a hitch... And then BAMM!
I was called to the mat by Professor Hates My Gutts, PhD. for a clinical rotation...My professor received a nastygram in regard to my performance signed off by two RNs. I was blown away by the accusations and the fact that my instructor was uninterested in my side of the story. I received a ZERO for the clinical which means I am basically one step away from finding a new career. (Two zeros and you are out the door)
The nurses charged me with everything from OSHA violations to abandoning my post. None of it made sense...One of the complaints was that I "ate breakfast at the desk"...I was sitting with three other nurses who were eating breakfast. I asked if anyone would mind if I ate an apple. Of course the response was "go ahead"...my god the letter stated that I ate breakfast in a patient care area and violated OSHA rules. ???
The letter goes on to state that I left my assigned clinical without authorization...Truth be told...yes I did leave the area, however with the supervisor's permission. I was asked if I wanted to observe a specifc area of the unit with a physician and then was introduced to a doctor and handed off to him.
Anyway...the letter basically sights events that did occur however the circumstances are twisted in a way that makes me look like a monster. Turns out the supervisor of this facility, the person who gave me permission to eat, leave, etc is the same person who wrote the nastygram AND happens to be BEST FRIENDS with Professor Hates My Gutts, PhD.
I have worked in a hospital setting for 10 years and never had a problem...not with a patient, not with a supervisor...not a problem. I was a top student until I encountered Professor Hates My Gutts, PhD. who seems to detemined to make sure that no male students graduate from this program...I am the last one left.
I was so upset by this event...the accusations, that I decided to drop. I have been miserable for a year now...can't sleep, can't eat...I've developed chest pains that present each and every time I have to go to class or clinical with this professor. My advisor would not allow me to drop...the dean said NO WAY, "You will graduate this program" ... I HATE GETTING UP IN THE MORNING! ...I used to get up in the morning and could not imagine life as anything other then a nurse ... Now I have this little voice saying "you're not cut out to be a nurse" nagging me every single day.
I've gotten to the point now that if I do graduate there is not a chance that I will work as a nurse. I am thinking administration or prehospital but I can't see myself entering into practice after all the drama and nightmares I have endured in nursing school.
Anyone every feel this way?
Thanks for "listening"