I am currently wondering if I am even meant to be a nurse. I have been in nursing for two years and have worked in two very stressful positions. My first job as a new grad was on a medsurg and telemetry floor in a all hospital that was always understaffed and put me in unsafe positions. I always felt that my patients lives were at risk and had so much anxiety about it I ended up going into a severe depression and having daily panic attacks. After a year I finally quit and took a 6 month break from nursing to figure out what I wanted to do and decided to try long term care. I absolutely caring for people and developing connections with my patients. I fell in love with the residents there but I had a lot of ethical issues with the facility and couldn't handle being a part of it. The other nurses and management openly told me the only way to get through the job was to cut corners and I saw the reprucssions. I was working 10-12 hours 5 days a week bexause I refused to compromise my ethics and it wore on me. I ended up leaving after getting covid at work because I wasn't provided with proper PPE. After recovering and testing negitive I have been searching for a new job for the past month but I am so afraid im going to have another terrible experience. As someone diagnosed with anxiety and depression I'm not sure if nursing is the right field for me but caring for others is my passion and I feel so lost and hopeless. Are there any nursing positions anyone could suggest that may be lower stress that I would actually be able to get the minimal experience I do have? Or should I just move on now and find a different career?
