K. Everly

Stick to your guns. Do whatever necessarily to protect your own medical freedom. I will pray you can make this work and I think you can. If you need any support, PM me.

Love this advice. I also made my own custom brain and it helps me a LOT! Especially so when I was brand new. I also arrive a minimum of 15 mins early, normally closer to 25, to prepare. My shifts go way smoother when I do. I have time to read orders, labs, and H&Ps so I'm not relying on the nurse "telephone" game in report, which often misses or innocently misrepresents things.

You probably feel so alone right now but the sentiments you are sharing felt true for probably 95% of us as new RNs (minus being shy/quiet, but most of us are intimidating speaking to the docs as new grads). Being task oriented in the beginning is completely normal; critical thinking will become easier over time especially when the tasks start to become second nature and your experience with different clinical scenarios grows. Your preceptor might not be coming from bad intentions when she asks if it's your last week with her. What proof do you have of that when you admit she tells you you're doing great? Even if she is annoyed, which very well may not be, it's not your fault that it takes a lot of time and effort to train a new grad. It's expected that training a brand new nurse is a lot of work and it's completely expected. I was a brand new RN just less 2 years ago and felt like a massive burden to my preceptor, and now I am actually precepting and while it's hard work, I don't think negatively of my new grad preceptees. Can it realistically be frustrating at times? Yes, yes it can. But new grads deserve so much grace because we were all one at some point! Give yourself some grace. You will amaze yourself how far you'll have come in 6-months, 1-year, and 2-years. I am finding myself less stressed out than ever before just because stuff is finally starting to fully click and I give myself a chance to notice my progress.

This is not necessarily standard but does happen from time to time. I doubt there is much that could be done about it, as they want to see the urine stream come from your urethra to the cup. Imagine how uncomfortable this is for us women too.. literally being told to open your legs wider when trying to pee while someone bends down to see your stream. I'll do whatever it takes to never have that chapter of my life reopened. Sorry you are going through this.

Deep breath. You can still keep your head down (I'll elaborate), and if your other case manager had all your paperwork and never raised an issue, I don't see it as being likely that you'll be retroactively punished by the director. You just have to follow HIS rules going forward. An important thing to remember is that the truth doesn't matter much to these ppl, it's the optics. I'm going to level with you from the outside looking in, that the situation that landed you in this position looks a lot like addiction. Whether you agree with that or not is neither here nor there because you're in this program because someone else in power saw it through this same lens. Someone sleeping behind the wheel who is intoxicated with alcohol and narcotics, whether the drugs were prescribed or not being of little consequence. I think it was *** advice that your lawyer told you to self report when the DUI was extremely flimsy and I'm not surprised the charge fell through. Such is life. Going forward, I would just attend the 12-step meeting this director wants you to, whether or not you agree, and refrain from any further protestation that you don't have an addiction. Just do what he says and move on with your life in 5 years. You can attend AA meeting and literally say "pass" every time it's your turn to speak. I don't say any of this to be mean. I understand how you feel, as I had to do a lot of stuff I found objectionable and frankly against my contract too (I was in a lengthy sobriety court situation for DUI for my legitimate self-admitted addiction).

I've never heard of a BON using one, but it was used on me for sobriety court. They are called SCRAM tethers. They are basically a black box on a watch band that goes around your ankle and is not removable. If I remember correctly, every 30 minutes or so they measure alcohol content in your sweat. You can't submerge in water and you obviously have to be exceedingly cautious about the body care products you use and make sure they don't contain alcohol (which is quite a tough task).

Nope. I MEANT to say 3x a WEEK. I had to do a 6-panel drug test w/ EtG 3x a week. In addition to the urine tests, I also had to wear an ankle alcohol monitor for 8 months. And, when I got rid of the ankle monitor, I then had to breathe into a handheld breathalyzer w/ a camera 4x a DAY for a year. Additionally, for almost 3 years I had to use an ignition interlock device in my car. I never relapsed or had a true positive in all the time, but each one of those devices failed at some point and I had to prove my innocence with blood and urine screens. This all occurred as a result of a 2nd DUI.

I had no idea. Are you calling me Trippy? I don't know what that means.

I managed, through tremendous efforts, to avoid an HPRP contract and board discipline while applying for my RN license while I was still in sobriety court for my 2nd DUI.

Great question. I also think that is something that would suit my personality well and would love to hear from others who may know.

I have more memes and facial expressions for this one than actual words. Crazytown is the only one that comes to mind.

A DUI is, by definition, a criminal charge/conviction. Usually non-violent, but a crime nonetheless.

It’s unlikely but possible. Perfume has a ton of alcohol. In fact, I think it is almost all alcohol mixed with primarily synthetic fragrance. The chances of having a false positive from perfume or hand sanitizer are low, especially if you keep it below your waist and try not to breathe it in when it is still wet (which is what monitoring programs recommend). I did alcohol ETG tests 3x a week for 2.5 years and never had a positive because of hand sanitizer or perfume, was I was judicious about my use of them and followed some basic common sense with products containing alcohol. The bigger issue I had was with the alcohol devices from the court system (not nurse program monitoring), such as the alcohol ankle monitor, hand held monitor, and car breathalyzer. Every single one of those failed me at some point and I had to prove my innocence with ETGs and PETH tests. I can’t even believe the courts can use those things when they are so frequently faulty.

I don't see how this was a violation even in the slightest.

Ahh, okay. So it sounds like their practices are a little shady but at least they have it written into their hiring paperwork. I personally feel it would be worse if they took liberties that went directly against the job description. Neither could change how frustrating the situation is for you now, but at least you know you are working for an employer who doesn't just violate their own terms constantly. Good info for the future (ie: read exactly what is written whenever presented with info from employer and know they will take liberties in any vague terminology/gray areas). As far as whether bedside is for you - please please please know you are not alone. I am book smart, but I struggle in acute and emergent situations. My anxiety gets pretty palpable and I forget everything I ever knew LOL. I had to quit floating at my hospital and move to the closed inpatient rehab unit just to even remotely feel at peace with safe staffing etc. And this unit is one of the few in the hospital that comes with on-call requirements, so I've been working about another 30-40 hours a month just in on-call. It's such a give and take. God willing one day we will both feel competent and secure, but I remind myself often that we learned about emergent situations in school by reading books. It could in no way prepare us for the first actual rapid response code we've been involved in or the first time a patient just doesn't look right and the doctors are ignoring you. Those things take practice, and growing pains, and were in the "but it hurts!" phase of our career. I've been trying to study and gain knowledge, while also giving myself grace. If this ends up being a stepping stone to something non-bedside, I'll go wherever the Lord calls.