It was my second year of my four year BSN program. My very first set of actual nursing clinicals. The ones where we actually went somewhere, and that was a LTC. I was excited, scared, and every other emotion all combined. I was actually more emotional than I pictured myself. I was so emotional I was nauseated. I was exhausted.
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On our third clinical day I went to watch a nurse do a dressing change. Wound care, how exciting! I was absorbing information like a sponge. Then, suddenly it all hit me. The nausea, the exhaution, the weakness all came at once. I excused myself, walked out of the room into the hall, slid down a wall, and passed out. I remember a nurse coming up to me and asking if I was okay, and my clinical instructor being called over the intercom. "Great," I thought. Here I am, in a facility where I should be helping, and learning, and I'm being surrounded by staff. I came back to, alert and oriented, Vitals WNL, BS a little low but not critical. Then, my clinical instructor asked the golden question... "Could you be pregnant"
Well, I could. I'm married, and along with that comes the, ummm... "act" that causes pregancy. But I couldn't be. The doctors said so. It would take "medical intervention" and we had been unsafe for 5 years. "I'm not pregnant, there's no way." To which my clinical instructor said "call your husband, have him pick you up, and stop by the store and pick up a pregnancy test."
Well, okay. I still thought there was no way I was pregnant, but what could I do? She would ask the next day about the results, and I didn't want to lie. So, off to the store we went. My husband took a friend to the clinical site to pick up my car and took the test.
I follow the instructions, wait the period of time and look at the test. Whew.... two lines...that means...wait a minute, I look at the directions again. I look at the test. The directions. The test. I'm pregnant. When my husband comes home I have him verify there are indeed two lines.
I'm scared. I gave up a decent job to go to nursing school. My husbands work was erratic. We didn't have health insurance. Most of the time we didn't even have an extra five dollars. What will we do? My mind goes on a brain storm? Quit nursing school and find a job. Work part-time and go to nursing school. What can we sale? What will we have to buy?
Fast forward four years.... today. My son was born during the summer, but I slowed down nursing school and worked any job I could find that would fit within daycare hours. Americorps, tutoring, at the daycare itself. It took five years to complete my four year degree, but it was completed. We had to used Medicaid for my pregnancy and son, but we have health insurance now. We were on food stamps for awhile, but can afford our own food now.
So many people didn't know how I could "do it"- go to nursing school and have a baby. I didn't know how those who worked full-time or spent hours partying or in their sorieties could do it. Things just came together. Sure, there were days and nights I was exhausted. Days I left the daycare in tears because I didn't want to leave my baby. Days I counted out change for milk. However, no matter what the challenge that arose I chalked it up to being a bad day and pressed forward.
I graduated last May. I had a job before graduation because I worked in the hospital as a student nurse and did my practicum on the floor I wanted. I also graduated with a 3.94. Inducted into Sigma Theta Tau. Passed NCLEX in 75 question and 30 minutes.
Today, my son doesn't have to go to daycare anymore. Between my husband's schedule, my schedule, and his preschool schedule, there isn't the need. I don't have to count change for milk anymore. I don't have to pray that my gas tank makes it one more day. In fact, we are taking our first family vacation to Disney in a couple of months.
Don't let anyone tell you that having a baby during nursing school is impossible. It's hard and tiring. Some days it seemed like the end would never come- but it did. And it was well worth the wait. I wouldn't change a thing.
