They make me feel like a failure

Nursing Students Post Graduate

Published

Hi everyone... This thread is totally non-practical, just to vent and get some moral support...

The story is this. I am graduating from a very good college (not Ivy, but still very good), with BA in chemistry and minor in biology. I am most likely going to Columbia's BSN/MSN track. I personally am very excited and happy about my choice. Here is the problem, however...

Most kids in my class are going to med schools, dental schools, law schools, MBA programs, or simply get $5000 a month jobs at top firms right after graduation. And me... well, I am going to NURSING school. Even though it may be an ivy school, still - nursing. Yeah, and don't forget the fact that few people actually know who NPs are. Every day someone in my school asks me - so why don't you go to med school? :angryfire And when I tell them that may be I DON'T WANT TO GO TO MED SCHOOL, they look at me in such a way... One girl, who's teaching a lab in my school and doing a PhD in Chemistry actually said to me - May be you don't want to be challenged...

Just today I talked to a girl who graduated couple of years ago, we took some classes together - and now she is a dentistry student. When she learned I have a little kid, she said - so that's why you don't go to med school... Again, as an obvious implication - you got yourself tied down, now you have to settle for whatever...

I would really appreciate some advice on how to handle this kind of questions and statements about me... They really bring my enthusiasm down, and make me think - may be I wasted my time and will not make my best... Eh, ok, I'm getting confused. Any moral support will be much appreciated!

Specializes in Emergency, Family Practice, Occ. Health.

Many nurses, especially nurse practitioners, make $5000/ month and many much more. So give them the raspberry and tell them you'd much rather be with your family on your days off instead of tied to a pager. There are many advantage to being an NP or PA over being a doctor.

Specializes in Burns, ICU.

Funny enough I am leaving close to a 6 figure salary to go back to school full time to an MSN program for non-nursing undergrads. And MANY people ask me - why don't you just go to med school. Because that is not for me, I want to be a nurse. And that tends to end it. However I will say that I live in a building with 2 doctors - and both of them hate it, and say that if they had to do it again - they would not choose being a DR. but would do something else.

Stick to your plan - reach for your dream, and don't let anyone try and take that away from you!!

Nurses are what holds the health care profession together. Be proud. Never hold your head down...we are health care.

Oh ya...and those Doctors...they are beneficial until ontop of all of our other suties for the day...have to catch med errors in regards to med, dose etc...

I petition to get a doctors salary!!! haha...

Wow I do not know why anyone would treat you bad for making your choices for your own life...Next time ask them why they want to know... Further to be honest I love my NP more then my MD because she still takes time to listen to me.:lol2: because part of her will always remember what it is like to be a nurse, the first line of defense.. What is wrong with being in a caring profession. To a nurse a patient is still a patient not an insurance claim..Sorry my gander up called the DR. office today to see if accepting new patients and I was told "depends on what insurance coverage you have"...I told them I didn't need an appointment I prefer to be a patient not a dollar sign

Specializes in ICU;CCU;Telemetry;L&D;Hospice;ER/Trauma;.

Just because people can test well on ivy league entrance exams, does not ensure that they have the social skills to go with it. Your question was "how do I handle these kinds of comments?" First: proper etiquette dictates that personal comments and questions are just that, PERSONAL....so, these hamster stupid geniuses are obviously unaware of their boundary breaking.

So, you have to gently, quietly, and politely (with class) help them understand your boundary. (this is a wonderful lesson for all people, but particularly nurses.) When someone asks too personal a question, like, "Why aren't you going to Med School?", you can politely reply, with another quesiton!

1."oh, do you think that med school is for anyone with good grades?"

2."are you a career counselor in your spare time?" (while this a bit sharp edged, it gets your point across....and should be reserved for the truly annoying)

3."Is med school, the pinnacle of education, in your opinion?" (when they eagerly answer YESSS!, because they will, look at them blankly, and then walk away....this usually sinks in about ten mins. later on the smarter ones....and days later on the dullards.)

4."Why do you ask?" (this will require them to do the talking, not you....and

give you ample opportunity to listen to their answers.)

This is similar to a verbal poker game, in a way....

You are trying to maintain your boundaries and personal decisions without conflict and interference, and they are trying to get you to show a "tell", or wobble a little.....so, you turn the tables....and force their hand....

You might try a more friendly approach, and instead of answering them directly or indirectly, don't answer them at all....

Instead, when they ask, "why aren't you in medical school"...et al, you might say, "Why are YOU in medical school"....and then listen to their reasons. Do not comment, one way or another....put on your verbal poker game face, nod....smile....and then move on....

They will think you are "just wonderful" for letting them blather on and on about themselves, and you walk away with your boundaries intact....

As for the wench who directly attacked you with, "well, I guess you don't want to be challenged then...."

Response Number One:

"Well, I would think an intelligent person such as yourself would not be so quick to judge someone she hardly knows." then, walk away, and let her think about her statement a little....

Alot of communication is about teaching those around us how to speak to us with respect and honesty.

Sometimes,when people are neither respectful or honest, they tend to bully.

Her statement was clearly a bullying statement, and should be met with equal and counter force....otherwise, she's the type that will continue to needle and cajole, to get under your skin.....teach her what your boundaries are....politely, firmly....

Eventually, the boorish ones will move on to other 'feeding' grounds....carnivores that they are.

I am proud of a nurse like you....that you value your profession to be as intelligent and challenging. Do not align yourself with such narrowminded people....

Blessings to you,

crni

It's like this, when asked about WHY NURSING? you should say, "If you have to ask, you'll never understand!" or whatever it is that the bikers say. You are a member of the elite, don't fall prey to the haters. :wink2:

+ Add a Comment