Please share with me your experiences with this....

seventeen · Apr 13, 2005

What you discribe is what Hospice nurses call Near Death Awarness (NDA). This happens quite often during the dying process. Usually though pts talk with their loved ones that have died. They also try and get afairs completed. Sometimes it is misdiagnosed as confusion. What a wonderful GIFT you all have given your family members to share such an intimate time with them.

hi i am a new member and i was just wondering if you are a hospice nurse

seventeen

req_read · Apr 26, 2005

Yes, it is wonderful to be able to share this time with a loved one. I didn't know there was a "name" for this, but of course there has to be one. Somehow giving it a name seems to imply we understand it. Not saying you are saying that, angel, just that by terming it, that's implied. As you know, it's an amazing process that really can't be fully understood!

I just had to register after stumbling onto this website and finding hospice nurses discussing this issue. To me it is THE most fascinating thing about hospice nursing. The practical spirituality that manifests during dying process goes largely unnoticed, except by those in the front lines; i.e. doing clinical hospice nursing and seeing what goes on first hand. Being an old hospice nurse myself I have seen my fair shair of fascinating and wondrous phenomena.

For those who may claim that the scenes described by LA & sbi56 (in this thread) are subjective phenomena inspired by dogmatic personal views, I recently received an email from an individual who described a very similar scene while her father was dying. Her father had extended conversations with an "unseen" entity, and while she (the daughter) could not see who he was talking to, their dog watched the "unseen" presence very intently. As far as I know, dogs are not subject to dogma.

Anyway, I do hope this thread is picked up by other hospice nurses and given the attention it so richly deserves.

nckdl · Apr 26, 2005

I recently had a woman in my ltc facitlity have a stroke and she was praying to god to come take her, well a couple days later, I walked in and said hi and she said oh thank you for coming for me and called me by a different name. I didn't think much of it until after she died that day and read her obit and the name she called me was of her sister who had passed on 5 yrs before. Everyone thought in was just a coincidence but after reading this post i believe it.

PennyLane, RN · Apr 26, 2005

The way I see it is it was probably one her life guides who came to help her make her transition to what we call death, but what is really another state of consciousness. It can be hard on the soul to make the transition because we have grown accustomed to our earthly bodies while here, and we sometimes need a gentle hand to help us on our way. I hope she was comforted by him, although it sounds like he made her a little agitated. When my aunt died, there were 3 spirits who came to be with her.

(Don't worry, I'm not crazy either!)

leslie :-D · Apr 26, 2005

typically the pt.is speaking w/someone they know (that has already passed).

as for your mom speaking w/a stranger, that's why i mentioned Christ or perhaps an angel....but it was an entity that was helping your mom transition from here to there.

when you witness this dialoging, death typically takes place within 24 hrs.

it's an extremely humbling experience to say the least.

leslie

sbic56, BSN, RN · Apr 26, 2005

I just had to register after stumbling onto this website and finding hospice nurses discussing this issue. To me it is THE most fascinating thing about hospice nursing. The practical spirituality that manifests during dying process goes largely unnoticed, except by those in the front lines; i.e. doing clinical hospice nursing and seeing what goes on first hand. Being an old hospice nurse myself I have seen my fair shair of fascinating and wondrous phenomena.
For those who may claim that the scenes described by LA & sbi56 (in this thread) are subjective phenomena inspired by dogmatic personal views, I recently received an email from an individual who described a very similar scene while her father was dying. Her father had extended conversations with an "unseen" entity, and while she (the daughter) could not see who he was talking to, their dog watched the "unseen" presence very intently. As far as I know, dogs are not subject to dogma.Anyway, I do hope this thread is picked up by other hospice nurses and given the attention it so richly deserves.

That is very interesting regarding the dog's reaction. I know there are many stories of animals being sensitive to what seems to be supernatural presence. I imagine hospice nurses must have witnessesd this, too, if they were doing home hospice care?

req_read · Apr 26, 2005

The way I see it is it was probably one her life guides who came to help her make her transition to what we call death, but what is really another state of consciousness. It can be hard on the soul to make the transition because we have grown accustomed to our earthly bodies while here, and we sometimes need a gentle hand to help us on our way. I hope she was comforted by him, although it sounds like he made her a little agitated. When my aunt died, there were 3 spirits who came to be with her.
(Don't worry, I'm not crazy either!)

An important point is being made here. When hospice nurses start talking about their personal observations and impressions in a "safe" environment the similarities in our experiences quickly become apparent. Yet we seldom do talk about it... presumably because we seldom feel "safe." When dealing directly with the dying on a regular basis the "paranormal" becomes "normal." But we are always afraid of being labeled "crazy."

I applaud LA for having sufficient self-confidence to risk having shared and brought this up.

MFlash · May 13, 2005

I had a very different experience but my experience is in the same category (mind boggling). My dad died on February 15, 2005. Just before he died he was in a state of euphoria. One of the things that he said to me was that he could see pretty yellow flowers in my eyes. That alone is not that mind boggling but when you put it with the fact that he told my sister he could see streams of water flowing out of her eyes, it is. Especially when exactly four weeks later my sister died of cancer (she was 52). She had been sick with pnuemonia and some stomach issues but we had no idea she had cancer until the week after my dad died.

Ok, well, here goes.
m new here. I actually found this site when I was looking for "white nurses clogs". I googled that phrase and a journal from this site came up. ( Im going back to work soon, after being home for 4 yrs and am nervous about it, so while i was here, I posted in the OR section, if anyone has any tips, feel free to share them there on my thread. thanks)
Anyway, here goes
long story short, my mother was given 6 months (Ca).
she was NOT religious woman, in fact, she sort of made fun of people who were devout.
well, it had been 5 days since she was released from the hospital, to go home and etc.....
she wasnt ale to walk so she was in bed.
well, that day, she was very lucid and making perfect sense. I was waiting for a delivery (pain meds) from the pharmacy and worried that she would be in pain. she wasnt complaining. she was very clear headed. I was in the other room when she screamed for me to "get in here this minute". when I went into he room, she insisted that I "get rid of that man right now" (she was very angry. she went on to tell me that he refused to leave and she wouldnt have a strange man in her room. there was no one in there. she was sooo insistant and so clear headed that I actually thought that someone has maybe broken in, knowing we had strong pain meds in the house etc etc
well, this went on and on all day long, and each time that I went into her room, she was having a definate conversation with someone?? she actually seemed to be listenning and would stop and them respond "no, Im not going anywhere, I dont know you and you dont tell me what to do anyway"
I was actually getting scared because she seemd so insistent and coherant.
Ok, so the end of the day, she tells my sister that "this man here is telling me that if I go with him, I wont be in pain anymore" ( she had metastatic breast ca). then she calls me in and say to me, "here take this, its a check for your borthday and I want you to have it" (my birthday was the next day). that week she had been given 6 months and I told her that she could give it to me herself tomorrow.
So, went to bed.
when we went in her room the next morning, she was gone.
I am STILL trying to make sense of what went on that last day and I dont have an explanation.
Has anyone ever heard of anything like this happenning before?
I still dont know what to make of it.
thanks
LA
ps I am not crazy, cross my heart

leslie :-D · May 14, 2005

I had a very different experience but my experience is in the same category (mind boggling). My dad died on February 15, 2005. Just before he died he was in a state of euphoria. One of the things that he said to me was that he could see pretty yellow flowers in my eyes. That alone is not that mind boggling but when you put it with the fact that he told my sister he could see streams of water flowing out of her eyes, it is. Especially when exactly four weeks later my sister died of cancer (she was 52). She had been sick with pnuemonia and some stomach issues but we had no idea she had cancer until the week after my dad died.

wow-i'm so so sorry mflash.what a shock that must have been. yet i sit here wondering what the streams of water symbolized. did your dad see something that others didn't?

again, please accept my heartfelt condolences.

leslie

PumpkinsMami · May 14, 2005

...is the title of a great book written by hospice nurses that discuss experiences such as these. It was the first time that I saw it termed "Near Death Awareness." I truly believe in it and have witnessed similar experiences myself. I've been a hospice nurse for 4 years and know that when a pt starts to talk to "entities" not visible to us, or reaching out into thin air...death is near. Some pts become agitated (terminal agitation) and some pts experience an immediate calm. Those pts that I've witnessed with terminal agitation eventually experience that calm or peace. I have read & heard that pts near death see family members or loved ones that give them comfort when crossing over. As for your mom's experience, it seems that it was a stranger and she probably felt that she wasn't ready. When she gave you an early b'day present, she was finally ready. As far as my personal experience, my grandmother died in Oct 02. She did talk to family members that had passed 1-2 days before she died. On the day she died, she was unresponsive until minutes before she died. She suddenly opened her eyes, looked up and smiled. A few minutes later, she took her last breath. It was a great source of comfort for me (and my family) to see that she was happy going where she was going. You are not crazy! :-) ...check the book out!!

req_read · May 20, 2005

...is the title of a great book written by hospice nurses that discuss experiences such as these. It was the first time that I saw it termed "Near Death Awareness." I truly believe in it and have witnessed similar experiences myself. I've been a hospice nurse for 4 years and know that when a pt starts to talk to "entities" not visible to us, or reaching out into thin air...death is near. Some pts become agitated (terminal agitation) and some pts experience an immediate calm. Those pts that I've witnessed with terminal agitation eventually experience that calm or peace. I have read & heard that pts near death see family members or loved ones that give them comfort when crossing over. As for your mom's experience, it seems that it was a stranger and she probably felt that she wasn't ready. When she gave you an early b'day present, she was finally ready. As far as my personal experience, my grandmother died in Oct 02. She did talk to family members that had passed 1-2 days before she died. On the day she died, she was unresponsive until minutes before she died. She suddenly opened her eyes, looked up and smiled. A few minutes later, she took her last breath. It was a great source of comfort for me (and my family) to see that she was happy going where she was going. You are not crazy! :-) ...check the book out!!

As people get closer to actual death and begin to see people and things we cannot ("near death awareness) they often interpret that in ways unique to their own experience. Our language is based on our experiences in this world, but when we leave here, where we go is not of this world. Therefore people tend to speak of it in symbolic, or metaphorical terms. Dying people's comments are often difficult to interpret, but if you are familiar with their background you may be able to figure it out. I have heard dying people speak of catching a bus or train, crossing a river, crossing a canyon, riding in a truck & crossing a bridge or crossing a creek. Actually, I am contemplating putting together a book of near death awareness stories if anyone is interested in contributing.

CardioTrans, BSN, RN · May 22, 2005

My mother did this when she was dying. She too had metastatic breast ca. One day she asked me if I saw the lady sitting on the end of the bed with her. I told her that I did not and she began to explain in detail what she looked like. The next day she began talking to her mother. Her mother died 10 yrs previously. She kept saying "wait mother, Im coming", "i'll be there soon." Being a nurse it was amazing to watch.