I will try to make this as short as possible, however it is a very complex situation.
First, I am a nursing student in my psych rotation. On my first day of clinicals, my biological father was one of my consumers. I was completely shocked b/c I had not seen him in over 10 years. I was not raised by him and he was somewhat comparable to that great aunt that sends you birthday cards each year. However, upon the death of my mother 4 years ago, my daddy (man that raised me) would not have anything to do with me. I won't get into all that...
So while I had a lot of anxiety about this POSSIBLY being him, I was growing increasingly excited. For any of you who lost a parent, imagine what it must be like to be able to say the word "mom" or "dad" again. Okay, so that's how i was feeling.
My biological father had a name change either right before or right after he was released from prison. He wrote letters to my grandmother and I occasionally throughout my life and on one of them, included his name change. He also let us know about his prison sentence and what agreements he made concerning treatment so he could have a lighter sentence.
OKay, so after my first day of possibly seeing him I called my grandmother to ask what she knew about him - where he was, etc. she was not sure the exact place but we spent the rest of the night talkin about him, what his eyes were like, hair, the way he sat, etc. I was so excited! As a few days went on I was almost sure it was him b/c of the way he treated me. He told me he was proud of me, would pat me on the back each day when I left, etc. I asked my aunt and grandmother (which is comparable to a normal families mother and father) to help me find his name change so I could be sure. So, I found out his name change and it was indeed him!
My aunt felt like I should let my clinical teacher know. So i did. The conversation was fine. She was shocked, of course, but I felt good after having talked to her. She was concerned about safety issues and I told her my aunt and grandmother felt that he would not harm me in any way. So after she and I talked, she apparently talked to the couselor at the facility. I am not sure why but I am thinking it was to ensure my safety. Later that night I get a phone call from my teacher telling me that the counselor was concerned about a breach in confidentiality. I told my teacher he is a past sex offender and his whereabouts are made known to the public, not to mention he has always kept my grandmother somewhat informed.
I thought the issue was at rest until a week later my teacher called to tell me the class coordinator and dean wanted to talk with me. She said she felt like the dean understood how traumatic this all had been and would be sympathetic. So naive me, I walk in there like I am going to be appraised for handling a situation so well, etc. Well, it was the opposite. I was repremanded (sp?) for a breach in confidentiality. They took 30 points away from my TOTAL grade, making it a 70. This means I'd have to be PERFECT and receive a 100 in my clinicals. On my best days I wouldn't be perfect, and these are far from by best days. They also said they were switching my facilities. New group, new teacher, and a long drive into the city (which I can't drive in!). I was in such shock at the meeting I don't remember saying much.
Everything happened so fast, it is slowly sinking in. I am being snatched away from a man i was growing to love, and there is no telling how this is going to make him feel. He doesn't know what's going on but i'm assuming when the clinical group gets there and i'm not, he's going to feel like it's his fault.
And what's the point of going? It's not possible to get a grade of 100, it simply isn't.
I have been through many things in life and overcome all of them, but i don't know how to overcome this situation.
The THOUGHT of Psych gives me severe anxiety. I have cried more the past couple of days then I have ever cried! I am constantly feeling like i can't breath and nauseated. It is affecting ALL areas of my life, including my other classes. I DON'T KNOW WHAT TO DO!
I have class all day on Mon then clinicals on Tues and Wed. I can barely get through a nonproductive day due to being so mentally and physically drained, the very thought of attending clinicals is overwhelming. So what do I do? Quit school? Then what? All of my options are extremely depressing. I need help sorting all of this out.
And I still don't understand how I am in so much trouble for talking to my family about it. His medical info. was NEVER mentioned. I didn't even KNOW his diagnosis until MY TEACHER told me (after I told her about him being my father). And apparently it's okay for the counselor, class coordinator, and dean know about this very personal issue for me, but not my aunt and grandmother?
When I was in nursing school, I too, made a horrible (yet honest) mistake during clinicals. I was reprimanded by the school, but even more so, by my conscience.
Now a few years out, I realize the importance of mistakes and of course, of forgiving ourselves for being human.
This hard time will pass, and you will take your experience with you and use it to develop into a wonderful conscientious nurse.
It feels like hell right now, but you WILL get through it- your a nurse afterall!
The reason I did not tell my teacher right away when I thought it could be him, was b/c I was not sure and did not want to have to have such a difficult convo with a person I barely knew. I thought I would look terribly stupid if it turned out not to be him and would have went through all that for nothing.
I don't say this to justify my actions. Of course, if I could go back, I would have done things much differently.
However, I didn't want to make a big deal out of nothing, therefore I did not tell her until i KNEW it was him...
not so--shocked her family by becoming a "nurse"--one step away from prostitute, and a poor reflection on her wealthy family. imagine, a maiden lady seeing "nude" men--oh, what will the neighbors think!!!
"If you thought or did not think" you should have immediately gone to your clinical instructor. It is an issue that affects your accountability as a "student nurse" and yes you do have responsibility. I agree with the poster who stated the same.
Yes, I understand these things now. It is my second semester and when I ran into such a traumatic thing, I did what I think, most college students would have done, and turned to my family (like I've done for 21 years) as opposed to my clinical instructor.
Anyway, thank all of you who were so supportive during this HUGE learning experience! I will start my clinicals at my new site tomorrow and am able to do so feeling emotionally competent now -thankgoodness - bc just a few days ago, i was a mess!
Just a thought here, how do we know the Dad didn't say something to the staff or Instructor or any other students? Who's confidentiality is really being breached here? Does your school, your Instructor or anyone else have a right to know that your bio Dad is a sex offender and a psych patient? This is really a goofy situation all the way around. I'm on the side of the student here, the OP.
YEP, HIPPA violation, sorry. But as a nsg. student you are learning. maybe your school was a little harsh. Did you learn? I would never tell anyone about anything re: my pt's.
Specializes in Critical care, neuroscience, telemetry,.
Screw HIPPA. I think too many times we make patient privacy a lot harder than it needs to be.
I think your school way overreacted to this situation, but it's been my experience that this is the way nursing school works. Hang in there, and try to enjoy your next clinical rotation.
Blessings to you as you try to sort this out. Hope you can make things work with your father.
is that so? i'm still a student but we talk about our patients even in the comfort of our own home, i discuss things with my mom when i got home, tell her things i've learned, so does that mean that's a violation? i never mention names by the way...
nghtfltguy, BSN, RN
314 Posts
sorry jmgrn...
i didn't mean for it to be an attack
i was just teasin ya~~
your quote is exactly right~