please HELP me

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I am a recent grad of May'13 nearing the end of my first year of experience. This year alone has been a pretty difficult one for me.

We have all heard the saying "Nurses eat their young." And boy can I say at my current unit that is a common theme. Within months of meeting a fellow new grad a few of the older nurses made her life a living hell by trying to get her fired or make her life purely difficult. Since then the fellow new grad had since moved on to better job opportunities. I've also witnessed another recent grad continuously picked on by one nurse in particular.

As far as my experience I have noticed one of the "Educators" on my unit seeking out errors to correct such as not having date labels for IV pumps (which is a small mistake for our busy IMU unit staffed by 70% of new grad nurses). One day she berated me publicly at the nursing station in front of staff for not responding to an IV pump beeping in another patients room while I was actively holding my medications for my patient about to enter their room.

When I started working 11 months ago I was bright eyed and bushy tailed excited for the work I was going to do. At this point to be honest I am miserable. I feel every day I work I will be told of something else we are doing wrong, working with lazy charge nurses; rushed to take the next admission etc.

Even so now I feel short tempered with EVERYONE including in my personal life. While I am at work I feel like everyone asks me for help for them to perform their job. Ex: Xray tech ask me to position patient on the board for them to get a 1view Xray. Ex: Respiratory therapist ask me to move the patients bed over instead of getting longer tubing to accommodate to the patient. I feel like I am doing everyones job.

At this point I am depressed maybe I just chose the wrong profession because with all these people asking for help all the time I am the one that is growing more impatient and short with people. They say the grass is not greener on the other side; but I do not know if this is a personal issue with my attitude or just my work environment. I want to be in a place that I LOVE going to every morning, that I do not dread being at. My coworkers are great with the exception of certain charge nurses and management.

PLEASE SOMEONE GET BACK TO ME WITH FEEDBACK, I am struggling

You sound like a very caring person who would make a great team member. I'm so sorry you are being made to feel badly at work. I wonder if part of it is stress related to patient load and other pressures that is being expressed at co-workers?

I have started to learn myself (I am a people-pleaser) to have more of a backbone and kindly but firmly expect people to do their jobs. I am willing to help out if I have the time, but I am not willing to routinely do people's jobs for them. Example you gave of the RT asking you to move the patient instead of just getting longer tubing. Smile and say you would love to help with that but right now you have three patients who need their meds right now, and you so appreciate you getting that tubing so they can be more comfortable.

It also does sound like you have a legit bullying problem with some of the nurses. Is there anyone who you feel safe reporting this to? It needs to be reported. It's probably happening to others, too.

The first year is always the hardest. Until you get your groove. And you will.

If you are assessing your patient, and you know that they are on breathing treatments, be sure to just bring the extra tubing into the room when you go. That way, your patient has what they need as opposed to a grumpy RT. It is ok. Your patient will be comfortable.

And yes, sometimes you do need to help the xray techs. Takes 2 seconds. And YES, it is a giant pain to stop what you are doing to do this. But again, it is about the patient.

And yes, it does seem like the nurse educator is running around attempting to find errors. But that is their job. And no one wants to hear (including me and I am an old bat) that they are not doing something correctly. But we are not all perfect. And I would hope that the goal would be to refine your practice into being an amazing nurse.

It is distressing to hear however that the educator is loudly correcting you in front of others. That never feels good, and is inappropriate. The only thing you can do is to interrrupt the tirade, I am sorry, but I am not sure why you are yelling. Then state that you will take care of it, and you will be mindful in the future about it. Period. And yes, you will hear IV pumps beeping in your sleep. It is a warning or a reminder. So that is all you can look at it as. Otherwise a gentle "I am uncomfortable with your tone" or "please stop yelling so I can understand you" can put a stop to it. And YES it does seem dumb that you have to defend yourself against someone who is supposed to be modeling good behavior. But you can do that without being fresh, just honest.

In the times of lots of patients and few nurses and the few nurses are new to this it does stress everyone out. Plus the rules of Joint Commission, the facility rules....overwhelming. But refine your practice. Become mindful and organized. EVERY IV tubing needs labels. Carry some in your pocket if you need to. If you are holding meds, adjust the pump accordingly. And I sing this to you in the tune of Prince's "Purple Rain"......Paper brain, paper brain.....paper brain, paper brain.....I only want to see you working with a paper brain...." HAHA and now THAT song is stuck in your head today. And I hope it makes you smile.

You WILL get this. Nothing but best wishes, and there are LOTS of stickies of paper brains on this site.

It sounds like you are being bullied at work by some nurses and management. They may try to get rid of you, if you report it. Good luck!

Specializes in ICU.

70% of the staff are recent graduates. Well that says it all. The place has such a bad rep that no one wants to work there.

My guess would be that it is because the management and charge people are whack jobs and pit vipers.

It's not you it's them.

In another month you can start applying for "other opportunities." Make sure you have excellent attendance and three solid professional references.

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