PLEASE HELP! Rude Co-workers...

[gemini81sg]

I KNOW THIS IS LONG, BUT IF YOU CAN HELP, PLEASE READ! :heartbeat

I have been a R.N. for just over 6 months now and have been on my current medical/surgical unit for about 3 months (at the facility 6 years - CNA to Nurse Extern to RN). I work on a unit with about a total of 15 nurses including the night shift nurses, and we work 12 hr shifts. While there are a few nurses that are patient and kind to me when I ask MANY questions, some are absolutely rude - mainly the night shift during report. I have had eyes rolled at me, one girl cuts in on my report constantly almost to the point where I keep forgetting where I was in my report, and she also has stormed away from me (like a child throwing a tantrum) multiple times because I didn't have time to complete every detail of an admission or a dressing change, etc. When sometimes admissions come unexpectedly an hour or two before my shift is done.

As for me, I am a very hard worker and I pride myself in trying to not only not leave anything for the next shift, but also in trying to go the extra mile to help eliminate any extra work for the next shift. Often I work 12-14 hrs straight without urinating and with no lunch break. I go non-stop at work trying to keep all the chaos straight for my patients. We have multiple admissions/discharges and tons of phone calls from diagnostics, doctors, dietary, therapy and the PACU throughout the day. It can be difficult to keep everything organized. But I also have a great relationship with my patients and have even had a couple send special "thank you's" that my supervisor sent me after they were discharged. While my patients tend to get inpatient at times, they are always reassured and grateful when I keep them notified and let them know I am doing all I can to find out info for them.

Now I have been able to tolerate this rude treatment by many of my co-workers up until this last week. A nurse from another dept (that I have known for a long time) came up to me and told me that "everyone" is complaining about how I leave access work for everyone from my shift to nights and that I should be ready to take report right at 0700 (the start of my shift) when I usually take a few minutes to prep patient info. She said that if she keeps getting the complaints she will have to go to my supervisor and that she is just giving me a "head's up" that I need to change my behavior. I just sat there listening and nodding my head. I was devastated. But I also know that it can't be "everyone" because I only give report to a select few each day. Leaving me to assume that people are possibly agreeing...they are kind of a "clicky" group.

I feel like I have been working so hard to be a good nurse and to do things right. So many nights I go home and I feel like I have given my all and sometimes like I am barely hanging on with this job...now I'm being told this. I don't get it. I feel like I'm a good person, I work hard, I am not lazy, and it is still not good enough. Not to mention I have had a good reputation as a hard worker for the past 6 years, just not on this unit. My patients are always very happy with me, sometimes upset when they know I will not be back the next day. One asked me to give her a hug the other day....these are the things that keep me hanging in there. Sometimes I feel like I am being punished by my co-workers for being a nice person. They were also emailed the special "thank you's" from my past patients.

I know not to give up, because that is just not me....but does anyone have ANY advice on how to handle communication with these nurses? I have tried telling them how busy my day was and why something wasn't completed, but they just get more mad that I am wasting their time by not continuuing my report. I have tried to tell them I am doing the best I can. I almost always stay at least an hour past my shift to avoid leaving extra work, but sometimes it can't be helped. I just don't think the night shift understands the "chaos" of day shift. I have even heard them joking how they would never go to the day shift for this reason. I have re-evaluated my organization and time management skills over and over and it is what it is right now. Anyways, ANY communication advice is welcome. I'm debating going to my supervisor before they do, but I really don't want to bring this attention to myself right off the bat.

Thanks

Sincerely,

nurseatheart81

[LSRNgrad2008]

Well I am a new grad working about 4 months. I do find some of the same problems, and I believe it would be anywhere you go to some degree.....the whole concept that we learned in school "nurses eat their young" is quite true. You have a few options:

You could find somewhere else to work; maybe it's better maybe it's not. I personally would try to find a nurse that you like, a seasoned nurse that might be willing to take you under her wing a bit and just be a sponge. Gravitate toward the positive people there, even if it means switching shifts, floors whatever. I tend not to "hang out" with people from work but on occasion will because you have to let them know that you are "a real person". Try to stay away from any gossip, even if you think it will give you an "in" with people it will only blow up in your face later. Not sure how your hospital is, but my floor is a primary nurse model, so our manager likes to stay out of conflicts. This means if there is a problem we try to amend the situation. You could always approach the individuals talking crap and take them aside and ask them (nicely) if there is any sort of a problem. Then I would go to your manager about what you hear coming back to you about your performance. If your manager doesn't see a problem......in my opinion that's what counts. Every shift complains about the prior shift. You can't do anything right in these peoples eyes, so don't even try. Just come in, do your job the best you can, keep your patients safe and well cared for. If you feel as though you cant rely on coworkers if you have questions, or you're made to feel like you're stupid or can't ask about things, you could try using the resource nurse if you have one. If not I would SERIOUSLY think about trying another floor/hospital because you are new.....and if your brain does not get fed with education......you will only stunt yourself as a nurse.

[gemini81sg]

Thank you so much for the reply! It is much needed right now. As for our supervisor, she is brand new and not exactly what I would refer to as a "good" supervisor. The gossip and "clickiness" on our floor is horrible. My supervisor is joining right in and at times the start of it. She has even make faces and mocked a doctor while he was leaving the floor. If you get my point here, unfortunately, I don't exactly trust her. Anyways, I avoid gossip and turn my head from the moment I sense it is occuring. I have been in this field long enough to know to stay out of it. But at times, I feel that is why I am I being treated rudely, not that this gives me any incentive to join in!

My boyfriend told me if they give me any more grief, to just tell them to ask my patients about me, to go right ahead and question their satisfaction with my nursing skills and care. It seems like common sense, but I wish I would have thought of that sooner when this nurse approached me with the "head's up". I come to work for the patients, not to make friends with my co-workers. It is just difficult when I don't know what to say or how to react to their rudeness. I am a "please", "thank-you", "I'm sorry" type of person, and it seems like I only make things worse being nice....It's SO confusing!

Anyways, thanks so much for the advice and encouragement! Some days I feel like it is all for nothing, then my patients remind me that this is not in fact true. I do plan on transferring to the cardiac floor (where I wanted to be initially) because there is now an opening, so hopefully I can stick it out until then. Thanks again!!

Nurseatheart81

[morte, LPN, LVN]

if they expect to give report at 0700 then you need to be ready....not 0715..if this means getting there early so be it.

on the other end they had best be ready for report at 1900 as well...

AND STOP APOLOGIZING! this makes it look like you should have done what ever......and DIDNT....do what you can, inform them of what is left and shut your mouth......ie dont try to be nice!...i realize that you like your patient contact,...but try to cut it back just a little and you will get more done.....i only wish that your way was possible....good lluck

[luv4nursing]

I could have written your post myself. I just don't let them bother me, and if anyone does confront me about handing off small tasks, I will remind them that nursing is 24 hours, not 12 hours and if they have a problem with that we can have a meeting with the director of our floor. Night shift seems to think there should be nothing left for them to do. They bragg about sitting and being bored for hours....when I'm lucky if I sit for 5 minutes or get to pee a couple of times on my shift. We cant help it when we get admissions and discharges late in the shift...there was a time I was staying till nearly 9 pm, and then I just stopped. I do as much as I possibly can, but if I get a late admission, I assess the patient and start on their admission and hand it off to nights.

[LSRNgrad2008]

I could have written your post myself. I just don't let them bother me, and if anyone does confront me about handing off small tasks, I will remind them that nursing is 24 hours, not 12 hours and if they have a problem with that we can have a meeting with the director of our floor. Night shift seems to think there should be nothing left for them to do. They bragg about sitting and being bored for hours....when I'm lucky if I sit for 5 minutes or get to pee a couple of times on my shift. We cant help it when we get admissions and discharges late in the shift...there was a time I was staying till nearly 9 pm, and then I just stopped. I do as much as I possibly can, but if I get a late admission, I assess the patient and start on their admission and hand it off to nights.

Yeah it's hard because each shift thinks they have it worse than the other. Unfortunately each shift has it's own battles. I work 3rd and I am hardly bored, but I also work in ICU and when/if I have down time I catch up on looking up things about my patient, or google things that I don't quite understand about my pt. On the flip side on nights when all hell breaks loose.....it breaks loose and you have fewer resources and ancillary staff to aide you in the process of things. Most of the time we have no CNA or LPN due to census. Day time has its struggles as well, constant orders, pt procedures, people in your way. Human nature and cattiness has it that we always think we do more work than the next person, or have a harder assignment etc, (sometimes it is the case) but most times we over dramatize things and it seeps onto the next shift.

[LSRNgrad2008]

Well it sounds like you are doing everything that you can to be a great nurse and coworker.....I say just keep trucking along because you worked too hard to get where you are and you deserve to be there just like everyone else.

Good luck

[gemini81sg]

I just came from working nights after about 4 years of it, so I certainly understand your frustrations as well as those from any night shift worker. Both shifts certainly have their advantages and disadvantages. Wouldn't it be nice if shifts had to switch just for a brief time to fully understand eachother?! I know that night shift doesn't necessarily mean sitting around and being bored. In fact, when I worked nights it was quite the opposite, but it was certainly more quiet (literally, less staff!), I have to admit. But that can also be its biggest disadvantage at times!

It is difficult during the day with so many people wanting the patient....therapy, diagnostics, the doctors, etc. Often I have to hold multiple pills for procedures, then figure out which ones I should give hours later depending on whether they get them again soon. Sometimes a patient is NPO for a procedure but their blood pressure is sky rocketing, so I have to call the doc, check with surgery to make sure it is okay to have a sip of water with their blood pressure pill. I could go on and on, but I won't. :) Thanks for your post and encouragement!

Nurseatheart81

[neurorn6]

I worked at 36 bed med/surg when I first became a nurse (many moons ago). Eventually moved on to ICU and ER, but med/surg is where I earned my battle scars. Being a new nurse is exciting, exhausting but extremely rewarding. Nurses, I don't care how long there have been nurses can be extremely rude and very often annoying.

I'm sure you are an excellant nurse. I'm sure that you are doing your absolute best in tough circumstances. I'm going to tell you the same thing that my preceptor told me. "Tell them to get a grip." I know it sounds stupid but what it really means is this, you need to stand up for yourself. You have to be professional, of course, but that does not mean that you let them walk all over you. If an admission comes in at 1845, then absolutely get them settled, do a quick head to toe, vs, (make sure that they are stable) and pass them off to the on coming shift (they have 12 hours to complete the admission). But in return be prepared for the same at 0645.

The bottom line is to be firm, but professional. If you have a problem with a co worker, take that person aside and speak as colleages. Personally, I am not there to make friends, I am there to do a job to the best of my ability. If I happen to make friends, wonderful, if not then that's OK too.

Give yourself some time. Good luck and God Bless.

[SoundofMusic]

I know what you mean -- I'm also a "nice" person, always apologizing, always trying to be professional, always smiling -- and then some bulldozer comes in and usually bulldozes right over me. Then I go home going over in my mind what I WISHED I could have or would have said to them -- arrgh, it SUCKS because I don't have the confidence in myself yet and my abilities or I'd freaking LET THEM HAVE IT!

I'm slowly churning over in my mind, though, and growing that skin. I'm getting tired of being nice -- and to certain people in particular.

I deeply believe, though, that the nasty people are going to get their due, if they haven't already -- and then sometimes looking back I can understand their impatience with me. Still, there is no excuse for rudeness to colleagues in my book. It's unprofessional. I personally willl stick to being ME -- nice and professional, and we'll see where it goes. The nasty ones haven't seemed to advance too far anyway, so I'm not worried about it.

Our unit is similar -- and I find one of the managers especially is as clicky as the rest of them, nasty and a bulldozer -- but down deep, she is losing out, because NO ONE stays on the unit longer than 2 years and they have to constantly staff with travelers. Why the hospital overlooks all of this is beyond me!!!

[november17, ASN, RN]

If they are being rude then to heck with them.

I have to admit though, if it is 1900 and I'm ready to spend the next 10 minutes reporting off there is nothing worse than reporting off to a nurse that has to spend 5 minutes hand writing down the name, age, birthday, medical record number, allergies, etc etc etc...information that is blatantly obvious on a sticker in the front of the chart.

Knock knock, write all that stuff down after report or get there early because believe it or not there are some people in the world that like to get out of work on time. And you better believe I get a bit annoyed after working a 12 hour shift and then have to sit there watching them try to get themselves together.

ps, don't make excuses. Just tell them what they need to do. Telling them what they need to do and then giving them a reason about why you didn't get it done is "too much information"

[love-d-OR]

I'm sorry to hear that your co-workers are being rude. You should probably stand up tp them now, or it's going to get worse in the long run. Anyway, I really think you need to work on time management skills. There is no reason for you to still be at work 1-2 hours after your shift is over, to catch up on your work. You are getting payed to take your lunch, and by right you should take it. How can you go for 12 hours without eating or voiding? How can you think straight if your brain has no glucose to feed on?

I have a very bad habit of not taking a breakfast break, usually cause I don't get hungry , but I have been pushed to take it even if it just 5 minutes to sit and relax. Force yourself to do these things, or YOU WILL burn out! As new grads we are so excited and anxious to do things, that sometimes we forget to enjoy our lunch (I know I do!).

I know its a hard time for you, but I think if you work on managing your time some of these issues with your co-workers could be fixed. If they don't then at least you have a good argument for your manager.