Please Help Me! I’m Over It!!

[Nurse5678]

I need advice big time. I’m new to home health about 2 years now and need advice. I’m seriously over it and considering a new specialty or being completely done with home health all together. I am constantly being taken advantage of.

For example, the dogs poop and pee everywhere. Siblings will see it and do nothing so I feel I have no choice but to clean it cause that’s gross! I didn’t mind. But now, my patient (pediatric) will see poop or pee and demand I clean it.

Next.. they leave their son with me. He’s in elementary. I didn’t know any better and figured if he stayed in his room I didn’t care cause it only happened a few times but now it’s way more often. He also doesn’t stay in his room.. the parents are well aware that he isn’t supposed to be home with me. IDK how to report them without the company throwing me under the bus saying I told them. I feel like it would be awkward.

Then my patient is very “her way or no way” she’s active, mobile.. no issues besides her health conditions but she is constantly refusing care or throwing a fit to the point where mom will tell me to just give her space or tell her it’s okay and that she doesn’t have to do medical care. I try to handle it on my own with verbal redirection but the minute she calls mom.. mom completely contradicts what I say and basically shows that she doesn’t have to listen to me. My point is if she continues to refuse medical care then why am I here.

Do you all think I should leave home health or family? She is also starting school soon. 

[HiddenAngels]

I’m sorry ?

But you can still leave though right 

 

[Nurse5678]

3 hours ago, HiddenAngels said:

I’m sorry ?

But you can still leave though right 

 

Yes I can. It will put mom in a bind with no nurse but yes I am able to leave. 

[Nurse5678]

On 3/29/2022 at 1:31 PM, Nurse5678 said:

I need advice big time. I’m new to home health about 2 years now and need advice. I’m seriously over it and considering a new specialty or being completely done with home health all together. I am constantly being taken advantage of.

For example, the dogs poop and pee everywhere. Siblings will see it and do nothing so I feel I have no choice but to clean it cause that’s gross! I didn’t mind. But now, my patient (pediatric) will see poop or pee and demand I clean it.

Next.. they leave their son with me. He’s in elementary. I didn’t know any better and figured if he stayed in his room I didn’t care cause it only happened a few times but now it’s way more often. He also doesn’t stay in his room.. the parents are well aware that he isn’t supposed to be home with me. IDK how to report them without the company throwing me under the bus saying I told them. I feel like it would be awkward.

Then my patient is very “her way or no way” she’s active, mobile.. no issues besides her health conditions but she is constantly refusing care or throwing a fit to the point where mom will tell me to just give her space or tell her it’s okay and that she doesn’t have to do medical care. I try to handle it on my own with verbal redirection but the minute she calls mom.. mom completely contradicts what I say and basically shows that she doesn’t have to listen to me. My point is if she continues to refuse medical care then why am I here.

Do you all think I should leave home health or family? She is also starting school soon. 

Update: so I finally told DON about mom. Her advice was either I confront her or she will. I verbalized the fact that mom isn’t the easiest to talk to and gets loud and argumentative from what I’ve seen in the past. DON tells me to put it in her ear that company is starting to do suprise visits due to rules being broken so it scares her into stopping. Well sent message to mom today to inform her of what I’ve heard from other nurses and yeah didn't go well..

 

she began to tell me that it’s her house and they can’t just pop up whenever and that they need to let her know first. I explained to her that I am employed by them so I’m not sure that’s true. She also said that her son lives here and he will go home after 3 whether they like it or not and if they have an issue they can call her. I explain to her that I understood the rule because if something were to happen I will be help liable and all she replied was that her son will go home after school since company doesn’t pay childcare for her. 

[Kitiger, RN]

The next step is to tell your DON how the discussion played out.

[Nurse5678]

6 minutes ago, Kitiger said:

The next step is to tell your DON how the discussion played out.

Did that. I thinks she’s out. Waiting for message back 

[K. Everly, BSN, RN]

This mom is a nightmare & I'm disappointed that your DON proposed skirting around the issue and making veiled threats to try and attitude adjust this grown woman who is mistreating her child's registered nurse. 

It should have been an immediate direct approach with the mother where she was informed, in no uncertain terms, of which behavior is not to be tolerated. There is of course a professional and non-confrontational approach, but direct nonetheless. 

I think this just further solidifies the fact that you have to advocate for *yourself* with the same fierceness that you would a patient because nobody else is going to. Nobody else has to walk in your shoes.

[Vee D, ADN]

Why are you making someone else's problem your problem ? Are you there for the dog or are you there for the patient? The family didn't ask you to clean anything you took it upon yourself. You're taking advantage of yourself at this point.

[Nurse5678]

1 hour ago, Jenny Lee said:

Why are you making someone else's problem your problem ? Are you there for the dog or are you there for the patient? The family didn't ask you to clean anything you took it upon yourself. You're taking advantage of yourself at this point.

IDK about you but smelling urine and dog poop all day is disgusting. We are home alone all shift so I don’t have a choice. I have spoke to mom and company. Do not plan on being here much longer. Looking elsewhere 

[Vee D, ADN]

On 6/5/2022 at 4:42 PM, Nurse5678 said:

IDK about you but smelling urine and dog poop all day is disgusting. We are home alone all shift so I don’t have a choice. I have spoke to mom and company. Do not plan on being here much longer. Looking elsewhere 

That's not your problem. You're there for the patient not to clean up additional messes. You included yourself in things outside of your scope. You should've went straight to your supervisor instead of performing duties outside of your scope. This is how boundaries get crossed. You took it upon yourself to do it. No one asked you to

[Fawne10, LPN]

Hiya. I've read through the thread and thought I'd chime in. 

I'm also doing PDN and have had situations similar to this. It seems like small problems start, and we hold off on saying anything because we hope it'll get better, or at first it's not that big of a deal. Then things slowly get worse and we decide it's time to draw the line. That's a normal reaction, so you don't need to feel badly. You are not alone. 

I'm glad that you did speak up now. I've had times when I've had to speak up and the family didn't take it well, but I'm still glad I said something. Also, agencies seem to want to stay neutral because they don't want to lose us Or the client. That's just the nature of HH/PDN. I wouldn't leave it for the world though. 

There are good agencies and good patients and families out there. It's just a matter of finding the right fit. You sound like a great nurse. Don't give up. 

[Bevpil]

Ask for a new client, be specific of what kind of home you want.  Non-smoking, no pets, kind humans.  Your company needs you too much to send you to a home that is not a good fit.  Of course there will have to be some give and take because we are all humans.  So like a good marriage, let the little things go and appreciate the good family you choose.