I need some advice. I made a big med error today and I don't know what to do. I can't put into words the way I feel right now. So afraid, ashamed, embarrassed, discouraged. Here is what happened. I'm giving other information NOT because it is an excuse for me making such a blatant mistake, but just to give some insight into how I feel. Even before this, I've been feeling like I'm just not cut out to be on such a hectic unit. I know all nurses have hectic jobs but our floor is one that all float nurses and nurse assistants say they hate and tell me "good luck" once I tell them I'm a new RN on the floor. The other nurses are really great, its just so fast paced, its an ICU step down and in one day you can get several admissions and discharges. Even before today I felt like I was struggling just to keep my head above water. I had two months of orientation but looking back it was kind of like having a team mate to do the work with, so I didn't learn things from the perspective of a nurse working solo.
But Today I did the worst thing. I messed up, it was no ones fault but my own. Basically a patient was ordered to switch to a Lasix drip. When I started the drip, I entered the intended ml/hr into the mcg/kg/hr. I looked at the orders in the computer and remember thinking "double check" - and I **thought** that I had. The patient showed no signs of distress, and only when the bag was empty 3 hours later and I called for another and pharmacy said I had enough for the next shift did I realize that the drip was going at THREE TIMES the intended dose. My heart stopped and immediately I felt this feeling of doom. I immediately checked the patients' vitals, which were fine thank god then told the charge nurse. She (rightfully) freaked out and asked why I didn't have someone double check the rate. I thought we only needed certain drips checked and honestly did not realize. I called the doctor to let him know and filled out an incident report with the charge nurse. She said I was unsafe with patients and after this, I agree with her! I was under the impression I would be fired and was worried about my license. I have not been able to sleep or eat since this happened. I just found out that the patient has been fine in the last 12 hours since this happened and that he is okay. I am SO SO SO thankful that the patient is okay but just feel like such an idiot. I feel like I've worked so hard to become a nurse and apparently I'm not cut out for it. I'll be meeting with the supervisor, manager, and charge nurse in a couple of days (which I'm already so scared for and dredding) but am scheduled to work before then. I'm new and I honestly doubted that I even had a job after this, so when one of the other nurse managers emailed me telling me everything with the patient was fine and that she would see me for my regular shift on Monday I was surprised.
I'm scared to go back. I'm not only devastated to have made such a blatant and terrible mistake that could have been life altering for that patient, but I'm doubting my future and career as a nurse. Before this, my patients and colleges have had good things to say about me but now I feel like I'll always be known for this. I feel like i'll be walking around with a big X on my head. I could my patient serious harm! I honestly feel like resigning, but feel a weird mixture of having just disappointed everyone and yet like I would disappoint them more if I express interest in moving to a different unit with a slower pace. I just want to crawl into a hole. Help.
I have made a medication error and learned a lot. A good facility handles it as a process issue and investigates all the areas that could be improved in the future. For example : having all nurses sign a paper stating all of their drips will be double checked prior to starting.
Nobody can can change what happened but your job can try to prevent this for the future. I do not believe you will be fired and would be very surprised . You should have to take a drug calculations class , which is really for your benefit.
+1 there. While that's kind of what it is, you can look at it as the "OK" for you to utilize to allow yourself to slow down and really get the five rights down. Really however you look at it, best to see it as a positive and know you're not looked down upon as "that guy".
Glad it went ok, OP. Sounds like your administration is pretty level headed which isn't always the norm.
I just want to say that I could have written your post because I made a med error last night. I am a new nurse and I reported my error as soon as it occurred but all the feelings you are having I know them all too well. I also couldn't sleep and I also feel embarrassed to go back to work. I feel like everyone knows and are thinking how incompetent I am. I am also considering resigning. The patient wasn't hurt thank goodness but I also feel like I don't want to be a nurse anymore. My emotions at this point are very conflicting. Needless to say when I could not sleep I went on Youtube and found countless videos about nurses who hate their job or being a nurse period. My director actually gave me good advice, she told me that every nurse makes a mistake and told me about her own when she first started out. she told me to not feel discouraged because I will learn and never do it again. However, I can not help but feel the way I do which is embarrassed and ashamed of myself. Tomorrow will make a month that I have been on the job and I got exactly 5 days of orientation. It is a hectic work environment and I am at a crossroads. I wish you the best and am sure you will go on to be a wonderful nurse. It is so easy to say that to you OP, but somehow I can not tell myself the same thing. Good luck.
We are our worst critic! Learn from it and move on! Nurses are only human. We make mistakes at home and we make them at work. Patient is ok! You have your job. If you continue feeling overwhelmed and not eating and sleeping, just apply in another field of nursing!!! School nurses don't hang Ladix drips... Hint hint :)
The saying when I was a younger nurse: 'Jesus doesn't have a sister.'
Translation: We ALL make med errors none of us are perfect. If a nurse tells you they never have ---either they're lying or they've never cared for patients - so never had the opportunity to make an error.
A mistake is a chance to learn, so that you don't make a mistake again. You should not be reprimanded, chastised, blamed --- the error is not YOUR error: it is a system error. How can the system be improved so that error can't be made by anyone else?
And honestly - if this upcoming meeting is not pleasant and nice -- I would find a better place to work.
You should never have been treated like you were. Does your institution support the 'Blame free culture' that the Joint Commission promotes? Doesn't sound like it. I'd find a place that does.
Specializes in Psych., Rehabilitation, Developmental Di.
MBarth, while I am in agreement with you regarding the "blame free culture", I must remark on the Jesus analogy. It is better stated that "Jesus doesn't have a sister or brother". Translation: nurses are male and female. Today our profession is inclusive.And yes, we "all" make mistakes.
I'm sorry your charge nurse reacted that way to you, it's not right. I work at an amazing hospital and I know people who have gotten rewarded for a med error. Not the fact that they made one of course, but that they reported it and kind of like a "congrats, you didn't kill that patient and now you are one of the safest nurses at this hospital". Our nurse educators show a great amount of support to new nurses. She has always said that the one time she was in the hospital she prayed for either a new nurse, or the nurse that just made med error because she knows they are going to check check check!
When you go talk to them let them know exactly how you felt so they know you will make sure you never make that same mistake again. Go in with a plan as to how you will prevent this in the future. Make them see that you felt awful, learned from your mistake, and will do everything in your power to never make this mistake again.
If you have never heard of the Sebastian Ferrero case you should look it up, it happened at my hospital. It's a sad unfortunate story but in a way it is the best thing that's ever happened to our hospital. We now how have an entire children's hospital and children fly in from all around the world. Also, the nurse that gave the arginine is still an employee at the hospital.
Don't be discouraged, you'll be a better nurse for it.
Medication errors are going to happen and nurses will learn to deal with it. I am very glad you was honest to report the error. Unfortunately, some supervisors or nurse managers do not always deliver the appropriate tone or manner when dealing with these kind of events. When an error occur, learn from it and use it as a training event as you grow and orient nurses in the long run. Double check or have another nurse check with you on the drips is helpful as well. Do not get discouraged on the med error because it happens to the best of us. Good luck in your career.
Everyone makes medication errors. Your charge nurses response wasn't the best. I understand her concern, but if nurses got fired every time a non fatal med error occurred, there would be no one at work. Try and get some rest and learn from what happened. Please don't resign! We are all human. Maybe this will spark new protocols from your hospital to improve patient safety and urge them to look into smart pumps.
The saddest thing about this story other the fact that there was a medication error, is the way that you were addressed by your "colleague". She missed the opportunity to turn a mistake into a teachable moment. Her comment of " you being unsafe with patients" is the tragedy. As a pre-nursing student who currently works in critical care as a care partner, I observe how the nurses check medication, formula, pump rates etc. with each other. The facts are 1) you made a medication error, 2) you are a new nurse, 3) is it the policy of the unit to "feed" their young" to the wolves after two months? 4) Does the unit have mentoring programs to monitor your work progress?
You have put in the work and please do not allow this person or unit define you. I have found that as wonderful, challenging and rewarding as being a nurse can be, there is also a lot of "hazing" done by staff members such as the one in your unit. I wonder if this person took a look back at her career she probably has made some errors in charting, patient identification and medication.
If I were in your position as a new nurse, I would ask to leave the unit, or not work when she works, or ask for a mentor.
There is some good that can come from this. For example, change in policy and you can find a unit that is better suited for your skill set.
MissBigApple
6 Posts
Hugs to you! Everything will be alright