Please help me, I need advice...I'm so broken

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I have been working with a home health company for the last 8 years. At first I only worked a few days a week, and my "main gig" was nursing homes. After succumbing to a workplace bully, I left the nursing home, and began working full time in home health. I have had the same main clients for the last 8 years. I have worked with many families/clients over the years with this company, but I always worked at least a day or two with this one family. I loved my job so much, I swear I could have skipped the whole way.

About 8 months ago we got two new nurses on this case. Granted we only see one another for a few minutes, but....things have gone so wrong. First all, this is a client who requires a physically fit caregiver. Very heavy lifting, and busy work. We got a male nurse, and the other nurse......a very frail woman pushing 70. Now Im not one to discriminate against the elderly..I've seen some little old lady nurses with brute strength and mad nursing skills.....this lady is NOT one of them. From the start I had suspicions. A client who NEVER sleeps through day shift...suddenly sleeps like the dead......but only on her shift...when the parent is not at home *which is often* A sweet genteel client...is aggressive and mean...but only following her shifts. I suspect drugging but w/o proof or logical argument.....I say nothing.

Next I notice a pattern of unusual respiratory distress...but looking at records...only happens following her shift. I attempt to say something to her in friendly "hey did you notice" kinda way...then I find out she is very passive aggressive, and vindictive. Very next shift following her...patient starts howling with abdominal pain...soon.....we have projectile diarrhea...literally flooding the room. I find that a nearly new bottle of RX laxative was documented as "accidentally spilled" on her shift... I can do nothing but report the facts...not my suspicions. I tried talking to my supervisor because the patient who used to get excited and happy when I arrived started behaving aggressive toward me, when I asked what was the matter client tells me that whites are evil, and that this nurse told him that I kill people for fun...and that I want to hurt him.

I confronted her about it, Politely...she said that if I say anything about it she will accuse me of being a racist and get me fired.......that is how she takes care of white trash like me." Thinking that 8 years with this company meant something, and maybe the fact that 8 years......working 48 hours a week with the same African American family counted as proof of my personality......I decided to call her bluff and ask my boss for help. I was told point blank....."we didn't need that kind of trouble" and "work it out". On top of it all? My boss calls her and repeats everything I talked to them about, now I am just being beaten down left and right.

This family who once never had a unkind word is cussing me out.....they really seem to hate me. She spends her days here trashing me, the family repeats it all back to me....but let me know they take it as gospel. After 8 years.......I have truly built my life around this client/shift. My husband took a job that made sharing our one vehicle convenient...everything is situated around my job here. I can't just walk away. How can I defend myself? I'm so depressed and sad. I can honestly say I am miserable. Does anyone have advice?

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It is clear that you need to leave, not only the case, but the employer. You can not win, unless you are contemplating seeking the help of an employment attorney regarding a hostile work environment. I sense that you are being set up. Better to be unemployed, than to be facing abuse charges. Your evil coworker has told you all you need to know. Now act.

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Specializes in kids.

Talk about a hostile work environment...yikes! Sorry you have to put up with that. Why not an anonymous complaint to Elder and or Adult protective services? You are obligated by law to report suspected abuse. Good luck!

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Oh my God. I work in peds home health, and it would break my heart if the family I work for turned on me like that. I am so sorry. I don't know what else to say. You obviously care about your patient; report this psycho!! You are better than this. If you must leave, so be it. But protect your patient, even if it seems like they hate you. Who knows, things could take a 180-degree turn soon. ((((hugs)))))

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Depending on your state laws you may be obligated to report that nurse- some states require reporting even if incompetence, abuse, or worse is only 'suspected' less you risk action against your own license. That said, good luck in your 'no-win' situation, if you are even still on the case. If her behavior is as you claim, the agency is aware of it and has decided to do nothing. If you can't get a new case I'd say your time with that agency has run its course. I have a question, though: If the patient sleeps all day when that nurse is there, surely the patient would then be awake all night, which would disrupt the family's routine, and be obvious, even if there is also a nurse there all night?

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Specializes in Peds/outpatient FP,derm,allergy/private duty.

As far as the job is concerned...I hate to be so blunt, but great relationships turn sour in Private Duty, and trying to understand what happened is sometimes futile. We all want to make sense of something like this, but many of us just end up bruised up for our efforts. If you've tried in good faith to reconcile and received a hostile response, it's time to let go. Lots of times the same people will beg you to return when the "honeymoon is over" but you can't put your life on hold for anyone.

As for the nurse and all of the red flags indicating possible criminal activity, a report to your BON is not only ethical but very well may be mandatory as samj said.

I'm so sorry - I know how hard this is....

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Nope. The family does not notice or seem to care that he has stayed up all nlght, except to gripe me out when the school complains about him falling asleep in class.

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First of all, I want to clarify that I have met the requirements of my states mandatory reporting laws. UPDATE: Since the time that this was originally posted: I found out that the "inaction" was due to an open investigation. (Which involves auditing months of notes). The situation has changed dramatically. (Sorry, divulging the details could identify the patient and violate HIPPA) Just know that the situation is improving and while that nurse is still employed........ we are all working under a microscope. To my absolute joy!..... I only wish the family or my company had taken me up on my offer to purchase a nanny cam :D

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Specializes in Home Health.

What a great update! I'm happy things are improving!

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