Planning advice needed

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I am hoping all of the lovely ladies and gentlemen at allnurses.com can give me some much needed career advice. As a background, I am 25, happily married for three years, live in Chicago, and went to art school for painting. I am strongly considering going into nursing as a career. This would mean doing all of my pre-reqs, probably some volunteer work to get in school, a bsn or gem program, and finally sweet sweet graduation. My husband and I are also strongly considering having (2) kids soon. I really want to be able to stay home with them when they are young (before preschool). Right now I am leaning towards having the kids now, doing pre-reqs slowly while they are young, and going to school full time when they start school. Am I setting myself up for major stress later on? I am fairly smart but I don't think I can just cruise through nursing school. Is it very hard taking time off and re-entering the field later on? I'd love to hear from people who have done both!

Specializes in Emergency/Trauma.

i started my pre reqs when my kids were toddlers, and now i am in nursing school when they are in elementary school. i am not working, but nursing school is basically a full time job, as is parenting. so, that's 2 full time jobs. on top of your in-class lecture and lab time, you will have a ton of reading (we have about 200 pages per week out of our books), lots of assignments (research papers, group presentations), and then when you start writing careplans, those will be about 8-12 hours for each one, once or more per week. then you need to throw in studying. when you get to your final semester and start your preceptorship, you will most likely be doing 12 hour shifts of that in addition to all of your schoolwork, studying, and reading- and it is possible that your preceptorship could be a night shift.

it's hard to go to school and parent with kids of any age. if you have the option available to you, getting your education completed before children is just a lot easier on everyone involved.

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Thanks for breaking it down. It makes things a lot more concrete.

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2ndyearstudent, presumptuous thing to say to someone who doesn't have kids. I have 5 KIDS and am doing wonderful! People like to give advice without ever having been in the situation, just because a few of your friends had to drop out doesn't mean that's the majority. 75% my classmates have kids, and they're all doing just fine.

To the OP, go for it, you can always take a break if you need to, but I would go for it, don't let people steer you from your dreams, you CAN have a family AND career (or school in this case). Good luck!!!

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Specializes in Emergency/Trauma.
2ndyearstudent, presumptuous thing to say to someone who doesn't have kids. I have 5 KIDS and am doing wonderful! People like to give advice without ever having been in the situation, just because a few of your friends had to drop out doesn't mean that's the majority. 75% my classmates have kids, and they're all doing just fine.

To the OP, go for it, you can always take a break if you need to, but I would go for it, don't let people steer you from your dreams, you CAN have a family AND career (or school in this case). Good luck!!!

from your first post on this thread, it appears you are still in pre-reqs but not the actual nursing program yet, is that right?

nursing courses are totally different and much harder than any of the pre-reqs, which i breezed through with a 4.0 gpa. nursing school is a totally different story. the OP was asking for advice, so that's what we are commenting on. most nursing programs, mine included, tell you in orientation to try your hardest to NOT get pregnant while in nursing school. if you have an option to wait, why not? i am doing great as a single parent with 2 kids, but myself and my kids have had to sacrifice a lot for that to happen. if i had the option to do it all again, i would have gone to school first so that i would not have had to miss out on so much with my children. yes, you can have it all, but there is a cost- not only making it much harder for yourself, but also on those you love and care for.

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Just to clarify, I start my prereqs in January and am not currently pregnant. I do not intend to be pregnant in nursing school. I am however considering it during pre-reqs (slowing those down if it happens) and waiting until the future little ones are both at least in pre-school. My husband has a good enough job to be able to support us through what ever happens, thank god. :heartbeat Right now, I feel like everything won't be easy no matter what I choose to do, so I might as well just go for what I want and hope for the best. I appreciate all advice from both sides. I know its a tough issue for everyone.

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Otay..I'm gonna put in my 2 cents.. I'm 40.. I was a SAHM for 10 years.. got a divorce..had to then start life all over again.. try to find a job then start school.. so I was working, going to school full-time and taking care of 2 kids.. My opinion..not that it matters..but seriously, you are only 25 years old.. seriously....you do have plenty of time to have kids.. ENJOY yourself! Seriously go to school, travel, party.. whatever.. Life is too short.. PERIOD! I had my first kid at 25..which is really young these days.. I honestly wish I had done alot more things that I didn't have the opportunity to when I was younger. Yah, it's nice now because my kids are older..and they are self-sufficient, etc.. but honestly.. enjoy yourself and try to travel, go to school, etc.. before you have kids... also, you going to school and having to study and have homework is no fun when they have homework and have to study too! I dunno.. I just say enjoy yourself before you have kids... life's too short!

What part of Chicago do you live in?? I live in Wicker Park! :)

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I found your post really interesting! I'm 25 and recently married with no kids. I'm doing my pre-reqs right now, and am hoping to get into an ASN nursing program next fall. I really want to have a career before my husband and I have kids. I'd like to have my first kid when I'm 30, but it might end up being even later than that. People are having kids much later nowadays, I don't really see why anyone would plan to have kids before they finish school. Maybe people you know are all having kids, or your husband is much older? Anyways, my advice is to just focus on school, your career, maybe traveling, while you can. You still have plenty of time for kids in a couple of years. :)

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Im only 16 and im already stressing out. Worried about my prereqs because if I get below a. 3.6 gpa then i wont get in. I hear alot of people on this website say how hard nursing school is and how time consuming it can be. Alot of research and writing papers. I dont know how you will do clinical because sometimes you have to wake up at 5 am for 3 days a week. I would definetly not recommend having children. You will be much much more stressed. Half of my moms friends class in nursing school, half of the kids in the class got kicked out within a month...

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Specializes in School Nursing.

Smokey definitely brings up some good points. Especially about being at home with the kids being supported by a husband and then suddenly being a single mom with no education. I know it's hard to imagine... but this happens A LOT! You can depend on your husband to either go to school, support your kids, support you, etc.. but what if you find yourself with three kids and a husband who is no longer so supportive? You'll be wanting to get that education while being a single parent and working a minimum wage job in the process. I know this doesn't paint a pretty picture and I know you probably think, "this will never happen to US" but unfortunately, it's too common to ignore.

Just something to think about. I know in the end you're going to do what you want to do.. and I hope everything works out perfect for you and your family. :)

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I'm in my first semester of nursing school and I have an 8 year old son. The aboslute hardest part is the immense "momma guilt"!!!!!! I can't play because I have to study, I can't attend "Muffins for Moms" because I have class. It breaks my heart to say "no" to that sweet little face so often.

So my advice to you is to wait on the kiddos. Devote your energy now to getting that degree so that you can devote your energy later to your babies.

Best of luck in whatever you decide- and kudos to you for thinking this through ahead of time! :heartbeat

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to SMOKEY2112: I live next to you in River West. The area is pretty darn awesome so far.

to Copperismydog: Husband is 29, so not much older. None of my friends have kids and most aren't married. I already have a bachelors is art and enough traveling and parties to last me a while. The reason I want kids now is first of all, I want the extra energy of youth. And secondly, I have had the baby fever for two years now. I see other people's toddlers in the park or whatever and I get super jealous. I had about the best weekend ever hanging out with my niece and nephew in our last Tulsa visit. I want my grandpa (the only one left) to see his great grandchildren before its too late. He isn't dying, but he is getting pretty old. I want to be around a lot when they are very young without racking up a lot of student loans from school and quitting work to be around them.

At the same time, not having a good career is killing me. Even though she maybe wouldn't admit it in these words, I feel like my mom's career got pushed way way to the side to accommodate my dad's. She studied greek and german language and literature and old testament history for her masters. She eventually started teaching high school when I was in middle school and is embarrassed enough about her career they she has never gone to a college reunion.

I watch my husband and his work friends (he is a pathologist's assistant) and lots of high school and college friends having a lot of awesome jobs or being satisfied with the years of establishing themselves as artists. I feel like only half an adult around them, despite working my butt off in school. And like mjmoon mentioned, god forbid something happened to hubby, I would be screwed nine ways till Sunday.

So anyways, sorry about writing a book. Maybe I just needed to vent.

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My plan of doing prereqs while I am pregnant was perfect...until I had to drop out because of difficult pregnancy. :( Luckily I just started, and postponed my studies to next September. I'm going back when my son is going to be 8 months old. (I'm 37 weeks pg now). On the other hand, a friend of mine studies for additional license, works night shifts (she just graduated) and she is 25 wks pg. It is hard to know and plan ahead with a pregnancy. Good luck in whatever you decide!

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