I've come to the conclusion that regardless what part of the country you work or how big or small your ER may be, there are basically eleven different personalities of the nurses that work in an ER.
Below I will give a brief synopsis of each.......
THE SALTY DOG: has been working in the same ER since the Depression. Usually found in a Catholic hospital and most likely went to that hospital's (now closed) nursing school. May not be able to move as fast as everyone else, but can still get the job done. Has seen countless come and go. Perhaps a bit jaded by all the abuse she/he has seen from many management groups, but never forgets loyality.CAN BE HEARD SAYING: "I was working the day shift when Kennedy was shot".
THE SOLDIER: similar to the salty dog, but may not have worked as long. Subscribes to old values, usually wears white (and white shoes too that they polish once a week). Can quote every hospital policy!! Will not give even Tylenol without a written order. Lacks any morsel of a sense of humor. Usually ends up orientating every new nurse to the dept. A manager's dream employee, rarely calls out. more often than not an ex military nurse (having trouble adjusting to civilian life). Competent but not so fun to work with. OFTEN HEARD SAYING " that is not in the scope of the nursing practice act"
THE BARBIE DOLL: Usually a young, attractive female, always in the latest print scrubs, hair and make up perfect. Often a charge nurse (as they do not want to ruin their manicure touching patients). Flirts with all the cute doctors but will only date at least a chief surgical resident or attending. Does flirt with cute paramedics and/or cops (as a way for them to bring them coffee at 300am). Often seen with a cup of coffee in their hand standing/sitting at the tracking system monitor. Does not do much else (except maybe scheduling and that is only so she can get her weekend soff she wants to go on her skiing/beach weekends. OFTEN HEARD SAYING "Oh Dr. Silverman have you been working out you look good??"
THE FUNCTIONAL ALCOHOLIC: Usually a middle aged woman (sometimes man), still cute in a way, often comes to work after only sleeping an hour or two from partying the night before. On a good day she is a fantastic nurse, but is often "feeling the hair of the dog". If you cannot find her, chances are she is on the ambo ramp smoking. Never without a cup of coffee, rarley eats any food. When in a good mood, talks about all her conquests and adventures. If working in an ER that has a breathalyzer, will often check her level at the beginning of the shift. If she didn't know every cop in town, she would have had her driving license taken away along time ago. May have been a barbie doll in her past, but turned this way after a rough divorce. OFTEN HEARD SAYING " One dollar shooters at the Wildhorse...who's coming with me?"
THE GOSSIP MONGER: Usually a middle aged woman, spends most of their time gossping about other staff members and socializing. Very passive aggressive, will even talk bad about her "friends" on the unit. Goes thru withdrawl after a long weekend off and does not start working until she's caught up on all the doings of the unit. Usually the arch enemy of the barbie doll nurse (bred from jealousy). Often a soccer mom who is unhappy with her personal life. Terrible coworker and everyone hates relieving her as most of her work is never done. OFTEN HEARD SAYING" Did you here Jen is sleeping with Dr. Soandso"
THE TWELVE STEPPER: very dysfunctional, usually inflicted with a chronic pain disorder, and lets everyone know on the unit whenever she is not feeling well (which is usually every shift). Belongs to at least one support group, nothing is a secret from her past. Gets over involved in one patient so the others must pick up her slack. CAN OFTEN BE HEARD SAYING "I can't take care of the rape case, I have abuse issues of my own I am still dealing with"
THE TOOL BELT: Most often a man, too much testosterone (from not getting any action due to his overbearing personality). Usually carries all his various "tools---gadgets, manuals, PDA, etc" in some pouch, belt, bag. Has back up trauma sheers (nevers loans them out), latest stethoscope etc. etc.. A wannabe cop or firefighter (too small to pass any exam). Likes to high five other co-workers, needs to be on Ritilan as he tends to bounce all over the dept.. Best used as a float nurse. Jumps on any trauma case or code, but is allergic to most other cases. Very annoying, crashes any party thrown. CAN OFTEN BE HEARD SAYING: "dude I just got the new Littman oxygen key, you gotta try it out, I can change the regulator in no time"
THE JOKER: aka class clown. Every unit needs one. Can be flamboyant in personality, also very labile in work effort, when in a good mood is a decent nurse, but mainly wants attention. Gets away with stuff most others would not as he/she may be the teacher's pet. OFTEN HEARD SAYING: impersinations of various doctors.
NEW GRAD: having a tough time acclimating to the unit. Bleeds patience from everyone. Will come up and ask you a question and then go ask four others the same question in order to feel comfortable with his/her answer. Looks up to the barbie doll or tool belt. "OFTEN HEARD SAYING: "But in school they told me to do it this way.."
MYSTERY MAN: often keeps to him/ herself, dresses kind of different. Many rumors swirl about this person, hard to gage the skill level of this one. OFTEN HEARD SAYING: nothing..usually quiets the room with his entering it
THE GOOD GUY/GAL: best one to work with. You see this person's name on the schedule and you breathe a sigh of relief as it will be a good night shift. Knows teamwork, very confident but not cocky. Strongest nurse on the unit. Keeps doctors in their place when needed. Great resource. OFTEN HEARD SAYING: "Go take a break, I'll watch your patients for you"
There are more, I'll save it for part two.
Which one are you?????????????????????
