I hope I'm not the only one going through something like this. Not that I would wish it on someone else, but who wants to be alone? Misery loves company.
I've been with my boyfriend for a year and some months, and we always talk to each other as if we're going to be together forever. But since I started nursing school, things have just gone down hill. First he was worried that it would take up all of my time, to which I insisted that I would make time for him. Shortly after that he told me that he didn't like the fact that I was going to have to be touching other males (for instance with catheters) and that he felt it was the same as cheating. & now he's sort of put that out of his mind and decided that it's all really about me not having enough time, and that I'm happier in nursing school than I am with him and that he's being replaced.
I usually spend Friday evening through Sunday afternoon with him. I don't study, I don't do homework, I just spend that time with him. & I feel like that's a lot of time that I'm sacrificing. I also feel like I'm being blamed for something that's not even my problem. He graduated in April and has yet to find a job, so of course he's bored at home playing video games all day and because I'm out being productive he's jealous. It's also taking a toll on his self esteem as I'm sure is obvious just from my description of him.
I know we've kinda lost that "spark" that every couple has when they first start out, but I still feel strongly about him. & it isn't that I'm happier in nursing school, it's that it's something new and exciting - unlike our relationship at this point. & it's also that we just don't really like many of the same things. When we hang out on the weekends, we don't really go anywhere except out to eat. He likes to go out to the bar, and I don't drink! I like going to the symphony, and he hates classical music! ahg!
I've already considered couples counseling, but he doesn't like the idea. I'm just really feeling like it's time to end things, but I hate that it would be over something stupid like my choice of profession. & I am not about to give up nursing for a guy!
ugh. well, just wanted to rant, but any feedback would be nice...
Thanks for all the support everyone. I decided to tell him I needed some time to myself... I'm definitely not going to give up my career... that isn't an option. It's really about whether I prefer to just focus on school alone, or to stick with him while he gets help (which is something we're [me & his whole family] are working on getting him to do).
Thanks for all the support everyone. I decided to tell him I needed some time to myself... I'm definitely not going to give up my career.
This is the key to your future. Just have to remember that once you get further along in clinicals you're going to need someone there to support you. Your future can take different paths. You could have an amazing career and a caring "new" boyfriend or the same one and fail to study due to his insecurities. The main thing is that you always put yourself first. You don't want to look back and be miserable, just take time and think, "What is best for me?"
Specializes in Med/ Surg/ Telemetry, Public Health.
He sounds too dependent on you, or should I say needy! If he can't understand that you need to focus on school then you need to let him go. The whole jealously thing about you being around and taking care of male patients isn't going to go away, that's your JOB as a nurse. That guy is so full of it. It's your life, stand up and do what is best for you and your future at all cost. In nursing school you have to study to pass, missing three to four days of not studying is alot.
Jamuhh
47 Posts
Thanks for all the support everyone. I decided to tell him I needed some time to myself... I'm definitely not going to give up my career... that isn't an option. It's really about whether I prefer to just focus on school alone, or to stick with him while he gets help (which is something we're [me & his whole family] are working on getting him to do).
I'll figure it out soon. Thanks everybody.