With some of the things patients say, Nurses sometimes wonder if they are on a hidden camera TV show! Weird, wacky or even touching, those phrases stick with us. Think of your favorite thing a patient has said, submit it in the comments below and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!
Winner will be announced May 16, 2017
UPDATE June 5, 2017
The winner of the $250 amazon.com gift card for favorite thing a patient has said from allnurses.com is user jndmj30 for:
One evening I was shooting the breeze with one of my residents. We were just talking and laughing and having a good old time. Then she said, "Stop, stop, you're gonna make me wet my depends!"
I had a 100 year old patient that was due for a suppository. I explained to her what I was going to do. She stated "are you saying I'm full of ****?" Then after I gave it to her she said"now suck your finger"
i know the doctor said I'm having a heart attack but I left some food on the stove so i need to go turn it off before it burns then I'll be back to deal with this.
I have had patients say some crazy stuff over the years.
One rough-around-the-edges patient was trying to breastfeed her newborn baby. She kept telling the baby to "suck that titty".
Another patient told me that her husband told her that I had the perfect body because I was "thick". She then said she was jealous and trying to gain weight to look like me, but just couldn't.
I work in the OR and a man and wife came in because the husband fractured his member during vigorous love making. They were both a little embarrassed and nervous so when the doc gave them the news, without missing a beat, he replies " fractured member!! I didn't realize I had a bone in it!!
Specializes in Med nurse in med-surg., float, HH, and PDN.
I have had patients say some crazy stuff over the years.
Another patient told me that her husband told her that I had the perfect body because I was "thick". She then said she was jealous and trying to gain weight to look like me, but just couldn't.
I still laugh thinking back about those comments.
I got a similar comment one time: "You have such nice, thick, pretty ankles." . . . Ummm, okay, then . . .thanks, I guess. It still puzzles me; but y'know what? I'm perfectly content to have functioning ankles!
New to the South, I once had a large elderly country farmer as a patient , who proclaimed, "Well, now, you're a right stout girl, ain't you?!" Finally figured out he was complimenting my strength!
"Want to see something cute? You need to come into my room", one patient asking another patient while they were watching the birds in the aviary. Turns out she had a picture of her grandchild in there.
A patient told me that she was pretty sure that a bug was in the steak she had eaten the night before, because she could feel it running around in her "Esoph-a-loph-a-gus"...I about fell out of my chair. I asked her if she watched Sesame Street, because I'm pretty sure she mixed esophagus with Snuffleupagus, and hence the new word above. :)
Ive been in a relationship with a coworker for about 6 years....me being the 7a to 7p nurse, him following 7p to 7a, so most residents are very familiar with him and I. Awhile back, we had a sock hop at the LTC facility where we work. I had my hair done up in victory rolls....being festive. One of the residents looked at me in digust and stated, "tell Matt to bring a gun in when he comes to work tonight." Eyes wide, " I responded...a gun?!?! Why?" The resident then said, "so I can shoot that animal thats sitting on your head."
We have a spitfire of a resident where I work. She gets so fiesty at times and says the funniest things. One night she was upset at one of the other nurses on duty for some reason or another. She propelled her wheelchair up to me and said, "Her ass is grass and I carry the mower." She was so mad and I almost burst trying to hold in my laughter!
jaelpn, LPN
3 Articles; 45 Posts
One evening I was shooting the breeze with one of my residents. We were just talking and laughing and having a good old time. Then she said, "Stop, stop, you're gonna make me wet my depends!"