Patients Say the Darnedest Things

[allnurses]

With some of the things patients say, Nurses sometimes wonder if they are on a hidden camera TV show! Weird, wacky or even touching, those phrases stick with us. Think of your favorite thing a patient has said, submit it in the comments below and you'll be entered to win a $250 amazon.com gift card!

Winner will be announced May 16, 2017

UPDATE June 5, 2017

The winner of the $250 amazon.com gift card for favorite thing a patient has said from allnurses.com is user jndmj30 for:

Nurse: "do you check your blood sugar at home?"

Patient:"I used to but all it ever said was High"

Congratulations!

2017 National Nurses Week - 7 Days of Giveaways

[angie2972]

After awakening from a surgical procedure..."That was like some science fiction s**t"......is this real life?"

[Shelly275]

Dr asked patient who the president is and the patient responded back "who that member head?"

[Marie1968]

I had an older male patient ask me if I could hold his testicles while he used the toliet so that they did not fall in the cold water.

[twss2323]

"Hey, let me out of these things (in reference to restraints) so I can bust out of here and get us some McDonalds"

"You don't have any money, how are you gonna get McDonalds"

"Well with your money, of course!"

[ob-er nurse]

Pregnant patient states 'I am 10 months pregnant.'

And she keep on insisting so, better asked how many weeks instead of months.

[NurseRodAya]

"This has to be the worst hospital I've ever been in, how do you expect me to GO in this?!"

What do you mean sir?

Takes kidney dish out from under him

Sir that's to spit into while brushing your teeth in bed... 😬😂😅

[pcrosby66]

It was alive when I put it up there, I thought it would just crawl out

[pcrosby66]

It was alive when I put it up there, I thought it would just crawl out

[TashaG89]

I was straight cathing a paraplegic patient. I was mid procedure and he look at me, "you have warm hands." I thanked him and keep my head down and averted from him.

[Tlcthatsme26]

Nothing wrong with my heart or blood pressure and the only pills I take are digoxin and lisinopril

[sawxgirl80]

"can i take that tourniquet home for my cat to play with?" (really? is that why you really want it? do i have "idiot" written across my head?)

[Kebrown]

A patient who had very obviously fractured his wrist and due to circumstances, was unable to have it xrayed until the following morning..."So, if it's broken today.... will it be broken tomorrow?".