Published
Good grief, some patients want to revert back to being 9 month old infants!!! They also like to ask requests one at a time. Then, after you wait on them hand and foot all shift with the patience of a saint, they turn on you in an instant when their latest trivial request is not immediately granted due to the fact that there is someone circling the drain in the room next door.
Just because someone is sick, it does not give them an excuse to be abusive, selfish and just flat out nasty.This is a vent thread and I sincerly doubt that anyone here is mean to patients, even the ones that are obnoxious jerks. The frustration has to come out somewhere, because none of us are saints/martyrs, nor should we be expected to be so.
We are human and we all experience frustration. Anyone who states that he/she does not and always views his/her patients in a positive light 100% of the time is not being honest, IMHO. We are all entitled to our feelings and should be able to express those feelings here without being told that we're inferior nurses. Better to express it here than to let some of these people know what we're really thinking!
:yeahthat:
Thanks Witchy.
This is a vent thread about patients who treat healthcare workers as their personal servants for even things as trivial as opening their sugar packets. Hopefully no one is venting directly at the patients!
There also are people whose arthritic fingers just can't tear the sugar substitute packet.
Yes, I think everyone who has posted here is well aware of that, but that's really not the point.
I don't feel "victimized" by my work as a nurse, but we are in a position in which we are frequently treated with a lack of respect (to put it mildly) and are frequently the targets of abuse, something that would not be tolerated in any other professions and something that SHOULD NOT BE TOLERATED IN NURSING!
Another excellent point was that corporations who own hospitals treat them as a business, and consequently focus on customer service.
For the first time in my nursing career I am working at a corperate owned and run hospital and I have to say that if this is what hospital nursing is coming to, then I'm glad I'm leaving bedside nursing.
I've worked in for-profit hospitals in the past, but locally owned and managed. I've also been treated abusively by nursing management and hospital administration before and don't trust the 'suits' are far I as can throw them.
My experience of corperate hospitals is that nurses are generally treated as laborers, not professionals. The attitude of administration seems to me to be paternalistic.
Anyone else out there have feelings in this regard?
A patient's wife last night was just snapping, snapping, snapping every time she opened her mouth. I was still as polite as could be. She even snapped at the respiratory therapist when he couldn't find the paddle with the TV remote to turn the volume down. The wife and patient, who had been in this same unit numerous times, could not figure out how to turn the volume down (a dial on the side of the paddle), and were griping about it to the RT, not in a very nice way. We were both very polite to these people, but you can bet that after I left the room, I couldn't help but sigh and roll my eyes to myself.
Later, I was outside the room and overheard the wife talking to the patient, telling him that he needed to "get on them" to make sure he got a bedside commode so it would be available for him the next morning (apparently he is very regular). The way she said it was very antagonistic, as if we would not provide for his elimination needs unless he harassed us about it, and that he couldn't simply ask nicely.
The way people treat me does affect me, and though I am able to avoid taking it personally because it really is not about me, sometimes I do have to vent.
For example, I'm sure that lady is probably crabby all the time, with everyone, but on this day in particular, they had been in the ED for several hours before being admitted and tucked in on our floor. She was probably exhausted. She has a hard life. She is the caretaker of her disabled husband, and he is a person who requires heavy care. Maybe she would be a lot more pleasant of a person after a good night's sleep. Maybe him being in the hospital is the only break she gets. Maybe she is used to having to be a squeaky wheel to get his needs taken care of, especially if she is dealing with Medicare and the VA.
As a cardiac nurse, I am acutely aware of how stress affects our health. What I've learned is that it's not stress so much as how we cope with it. People that keep it all in and never vent, and on the other end of extremes, people that overreact to even the smallest stressors, are at the highest risk for stress related health problems. It's not so much avoiding stress, but rather, coping with it in healthy ways, that has a protective health benefit. In my mind, being able to vent anonymously on an internet forum among others who understand these stressors and frustrations, is a healthy way of releasing some pent up steam.
Doing so to the exclusion of other, more constructive actions, such as learning assertiveness skills and improving our interpersonal communication, would not be so healthy, nor is dwelling on the past.
Another benefit to venting is that sometimes I feel guilty for voicing negative thoughts about a patient or a family member, and it will prompt me, next time I interact with them, to approach them a bit more humbly and patiently. Sometimes I have to allow myself to be a "bad" human being in order to find the impetus to rise above it and be a better human being.
I just wanted to add that at first, I was dreading having this patient again because he is so heavy, and has a lot of demands, and his wife is so grumpy. But now, I'm looking forward to practicing some of my communication skills, and demonstrating actions to these people that will hopefully put them more at ease, and thus reduce their demands and crabbiness.
Okay, I'm feeling all idealistic today. We'll see how long that lasts!
Just because someone is sick, it does not give them an excuse to be abusive, selfish and just flat out nasty.This is a vent thread and I sincerly doubt that anyone here is mean to patients, even the ones that are obnoxious jerks. The frustration has to come out somewhere, because none of us are saints/martyrs, nor should we be expected to be so.
We are human and we all experience frustration. Anyone who states that he/she does not and always views his/her patients in a positive light 100% of the time is not being honest, IMHO. We are all entitled to our feelings and should be able to express those feelings here without being told that we're inferior nurses. Better to express it here than to let some of these people know what we're really thinking!
It is a "given" that sick people, while not exonerated of their extremely negative behavior, are nevertheless expressing their individual reality. The nurses contributing to this "vent" thread, hopefully vent here instead of acting out their negative feelings toward patients. It is useful to discharge feelings in this manner. However, I am unsure of what constitutes a "vent" thread, rather than one contributing to other nurses' information.
It would be good when feeling angry about the patients we care for, to "journal" them. Then, a few days later, when the anger has diminished, read what we've written and see if those feelings have changed. If they have not, then venting them has not been useful, in that it hasn't changed the negativity expressed, for that person. There are many ways to deal with anger. Reading the "Dance of Anger" may be helpful.
I was horrified to hear from my brother-in-law, George about the treatment received one evening by the young man sharing his semi-private room, whose call button wasn't answered for over an hour, other than someone yelling through the intercom to say it wasn't time fror his pain medication. George telephoned the hospital and asked for the nursing supervisor. Another hour passed, without any nursing intervention for the roomate. Finally the unit nurse showed up with the pain medication, as the newly post-op patient in need of it was writhing and crying; and said that it hadn't been given sooner, as the young man hadn't said "please" and "thank you" when it was given before!
George again called the hospital requesting that administration call him (he is known in our family for his strong reaction to wrongdoings. A half hour later, the physician who operated on George to replace his knee, came into the room with a great flourish, followed by the unit nurse and the supervisor. He told George in no uncertain terms, that he would not tolerate any disturbance to "his" nurses. Then his roomate, finally relieved of his pain was taken to another room and George never saw him again.
The family discussed with their daughter-in-law, a pain management physician, what should be done. She said "nothing", as any more attention to the nurses' behavior would result in more patients suffering. When I heard about this, I practically leapt over the 3000 miles distance to the site of such a travesty, vowing to have that doctor's license revoked, the nurses disciplined, etc. Then I realized that I had no right to act upon a situation in which I personally was not involved. That was a hard lesson, and it seems that I still have more to learn about butting out of scenes in which I have no part. Sorry, colleagues.
Sorry about your brother-in-law, Lamaze. This thread wasn't about patients making reasonable requests or nurses who ignore calllights, though. It's about patients who revert back to infantile behavior and become extremely helpless and demanding of hospital staff.
Maybe you can start a thread about nurses who blow off patients by pooh poohing and ignoring them...
LOL....oh, the things we have to deal with. We're all too familiar with this type of patient. I had one woman who told me that she lived alone and never had anyone to wait on her, so while she was in the hospital, that was going to be my job! And believe me, she tried. Nothing at all wrong with that button-pushing finger, believe me!
I've been on both sides of the "fence"...I've been frustrated as an RN at patients who see me as a servant at their personal beck and call... I have no other patent but them and have all the time in the world... and I have no real training... I'm only there to serve THEM immediately and fulfilling their every wish/want. I have also been a patient who can't seem to make the nurse understand just HOW much pain I'm in and/or how limited my every attempt at mobility is. I couldn't scratch my own nose because I was so totally paralyzed with pain. The response from four shifts of nurses....so pathetic that I signed myself out of the hospital and took my chances with care from my untrained, but loving/concerned family. I will no longer stay in the hospital a minute longer than ABSOLUTELY required/allowed after any procedure/surgery... I will be home.
This is where nurses have lost it.... we used to CARE... I graduated with the knowledge of a professionaol RN.. but with the heart of someone who truly CARED..... we "pretended" that every patient might be someone we knew/cared about and we put ourselves in their position. We asked ourselves the question... "what would I want...". Medical staff, not just RN's don't ask that question anymore. They look for the most cost-effective/legal/time-saving route that will "take care" of the patient's request without costing them time/concern/anything....
I've said it before and I'll keep on saying it... all nurses should be incognito patients... see what it's like from the other side of the fence. You'd be a much better nurse (and person) because of it. As a nurse... what you consider a "bother" might be something entirely different to a patient. And yes... there are "bad" patients who want the world and they demand everything. PLEASE.... Don't let those few ******** ruin it for the rest of them. Try being a patient and you might just seer how valued you truly are to them. Having been on both sides... I know how much nurses truly rule!!!!
Time and time again, each of the 20+ theology students headed for their destination, each time coming across someone obviously in great distress in their paths. None stopped, as they strode to deliver their sermon on "The parable of the good samaritan".
Each patient receiving kidney dialysis knows the amount of time they have to get their treatment and usually has plans to return to work afterward. They are also in a hurry, and they're sick. How can we expect them to have more concern about a "downed" patient, than for themselves, when capable professionals are there to see to that patient. I assume there was enough staff to start their dialysis, and to care for the diabetic patient, who could have glucose given quickly.
Fascinating.
If you were to do a quick survey of our dialysis patients you would find that of the 30 patients we will see today, 29 of them are going to go home and sit on the couch and watch TV the rest of the day. Of those 29, 10 of them are pushing us to hurry because they want to get back outside and smoke. And we have one over-privileged prima-dona who has made it abundantly clear that if we don't hurry up and get her on she's going to miss Wheel of Fortune - even though she could Tivo it.
Amazingly the few dialysis patients we have who still work are the most understanding and gracious of the lot. We have few who still have jobs. Most patients on dialysis who have jobs go to a nocturnal clinic so they can dialyze overnight.
I don't feel victimized. I feel annoyed, surprised, disappointed in people perhaps. Don't get me wrong. I have no problem putting up with their crap and getting my paycheck. I've endured far worse for less pay. I prefer this scenario over that, thank you.
Gimme a break!
How can we expect them to have more concern about a "downed" patient, than for themselves, when capable professionals are there to see to that patient. I assume there was enough staff to start their dialysis, and to care for the diabetic patient, who could have glucose given quickly.
See, here's the thing. We didn't know what was wrong with her. We just saw a patient lying on the floor unresponsive and eight other people stepping over her like she was a throw rug. She could have been in arrest. But no one even showed any concern or even bothered to say "hey someone passed out in the lobby." One of the staff happened to be walking past the door and saw her out there.
I actually like my job very much. I was merely adding to a discussion about self-centered behavior that we have witnessed. How you turned this into a discussion about mean old nurses who are taking the position of victim is beyond my comprehension.
Virgo_RN, BSN, RN
3,543 Posts
This is true. This is why I always *volunteer* to open those pesky juice cups, milk cartons, and yes, Splenda packets, for those who's physical condition prevents them from being able to do so. I can't stand that when someone just plunks down a food tray in front of a LOL with deformed fingers and walks out the door!
I don't think that is what anyone is talking about here.
As nurses, many of us have incredibly high stress jobs, and the demands upon our time and psyche are enormous. We need a safe place to vent, where we will not be judged and told that we should not be nurses for having these negative feelings. That's what this thread is about.
I am very kind to my patients, though at times, I know the stress must show. I am a human being, not a robot.