Passed medication check off but need your thoughts!!

[FutureBSN17]

Today I had medication check off. We were to give a oral/topical, injectable, and IVPB or IVP. I have been practicing for weeks! Ever since we learned the skills, I have been in the lab. I want to be confident in it all. But, no matter how much I practice, I get so anxious before check off....I get anxious and my brain goes blank.

I am a strait A student, written tests are very easy for me. I do not struggle there, but during check off I do!

I passed today's check off, but I don't know if I deserve it. I say that because I know I did not do a perfect job and the professor promted me a couple times when she saw me freezing up. When she would do this, she would ask me a question to direct me and I would confidently answer, but my skill was shaky. I did everything I needed to but I was slow and shaky (literally, my hands were shaking)... I did so much worse in front of her than I do in the lab! When I'm in the lab, I am very confident. I actually feel guilty that she helped me. I feel like I should have done a perfect job to pass, it was NOT perfect! I try not to be so hard on myself but I feel I need to be perfect because I will have people's lives in my hands!

We start clinical soon, and I do not feel confident!

Has anyone felt this way?

[TNurse4u]

Be grateful :) And you must show competence while performing skills, it shows! Do not beat yourself up for self imposed perfectionism, just do your best that you can in clinical! I also had a skill check off today and felt it was not "perfect" -nerves almost got the best of me!

[RN403, BSN, RN]

Your feelings are normal. I was a hot mess for my skill check offs in school. Lots of times you are over thinking things and making things worse for yourself. Just try to relax and pretend that you are there with a real patient. Talk it through like you would in a real situation. It gets easier with practice and time. Good Luck!

[MrChicagoRN, RN]

When you took the test to get your drivers license, you were expected to display basic competency, not perfection.

Same situation here. The instructor helped you to pull out what you already knew. competency, not perfection was required. As a student you will learn, and grow.

Stop beating yourself up.

[vanilla bean]

Try not to stress yourself out about this - it sounds like a pretty normal skills check-off to me. The vast majority of my classmates and I would joke with each other after a skills check-off about how badly we were shaking and/or sweating and how our instructors helped to prod us along if we went blank.

It's a good thing that you are taking the responsibility of med administration seriously, but bear in mind that you will be passing meds under the supervision of faculty and/or staff nurses and will not be solely responsible for this in clinical just because you passed your skills lab.

You sound like you're kind of beating yourself up about not being "perfect" in your skills check-off, but try to remember, practice makes perfect.

[Red Kryptonite]

I did not do a perfect job

............

I feel like I should have done a perfect job to pass, it was NOT perfect!

.............

I feel I need to be perfect because I will have people's lives in my hands!

I edited your quote to highlight how many times you said this. It's a problem.

Perfect is unachievable. We are human. People destroy themselves, the people around them, and their lives pursuing perfect.

Perfectionism is a handicap. It cripples. It makes people freeze up because if they can't be perfect they might as well stop trying at all. Unfortunately I know this from experience.

Get perfect out of your vocabulary. You have to accept that you're learning, and will be for a long time. And even after you become confident, perfect still won't be happening.

[akulahawkRN, ADN, RN, EMT-P]

The pursuit of perfection is a very long and potentially dangerous one. Mostly this is because we're human and we will never quite master this "perfection" thing, no matter how much we try.

As others have said, you should remove "perfect" and "perfection" from your career goals. Replace those words with "competent" and "competence" instead. During your career you'll display several different levels of competence. You're a beginner. It's OK to be a beginner. It's right where you should be! I'm a new grad. While I have demonstrated competence in quite a few areas, I'm still very much a beginner. That being said, if I had to be prompted like you were, I'd be concerned... but I'm much further along that you are. I'd be concerned if I just blasted through a med-pass though because I might miss something because I'm going too fast. In a few months, you'll find out that you just won't believe that you were so nervous when you were doing those skills in front of the instructor...

Pursue competence. It's a life-long journey that will keep you learning new things!