Parent/Nurse Boundar

Specialties School

Published

Need some advice on parent boundaries....

I work in a rural district where everyone knows each other for the most part. Plus my own kids attend the same district. The problem I sometimes have is that some parents think they can call my house or send me messages on social media (even if I'm not friends with them) to ask questions about their child over the weekends, holidays or even summers.

Not only do I feel uneasy about answering non emergency questions after school hours, it is annoying to a certain point. I mean don't I deserve a day off? Just today I have had 2 Missed phone calls and 1 message on my answering machine about a medication --i cannot imagine what the story is because the student has plenty of medicine at school and I can't break into school to give some to her mom to last her through the weekend. Plus I'm fighting off sinus crud and probably bronchitis that I'm sure I picked up from one of the little darlings and just want to chill and rest and not be a nurse for today--just a patient :))

Does anyone else face this issue? And what are others' opinions? Just curious. Thanks!!

Specializes in School Nursing.

I would lock down my facebook profile where nobody could send a friend request, and then ignore any PM that I might get. They'll get the message (or hopefully). If they bring it up during school hours, apologize and tell them you were unavailable.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, School Nursing, OB.

Send home a memo that when you're off all school nurse calls/questions will be returned during normal working hours. Make your Facebook as private as possible and then just ignore any messages that you get through there. Don't even reply to those and if someone asks why you didn't respond just say that's not a good way to get a hold of you about work related things because you're just not on there much (even if you are) and reiterate that it's not allowed to be used for any work. Any texts, calls or messages over the weekend just return on Mon. Soon everyone will get the message.

These were my thoughts as well. It turns out, unfortunately, that my school administrator admitted to giving the parent my home phone number (which is not listed in the white pages yet). And basically belittled me for not wanting to "help a student" He told the parent I could go to school and retrieve ADHD medication (a controlled substance) on the weekend bc the parent had ran out at home.

Specializes in School Nursing.

The principle gave out your home number?? Wow!!! Sorry, but that is insanity.

Specializes in Med-Surg, Oncology, School Nursing, OB.

ADHD medication is not emergency medication. Your principal had no right to do that. Sounds like you need to set boundaries with him as well. If that happens again ask your administrator if he would like to pay your overtime or file a grievance. If he tries to make you feel bad explain you already get paid extremely low for a nurse and by law it's your own time and you will not be forced into coming in on your days off because a parent doesn't know how to be responsible enough to figure out how much medicine to keep at home or to make him look good for being a hero helping this parent out. Ok maybe don't say that last part but you get the gist!

Let me start with..

1)you are the school nurse, NOT their ON CALL PHYSICIAN!! If they ran out of meds, they call their pharmacy..not their SCHOOL NURSE

2)He gave out your phone #..UNACCEPTABLE. You need to let him understand that you are available during school hrs ONLY, you are not paid as an ON CALL NURSE!!

3) Social Media.... Chage your privacy settings immediately and when they send a message or a text or call your phone...simply ignore it. ad when they ask why you didn't text back or call them back simply say.."I have my family to take care when I am not in school." I am only on call for MY family. Eventually (could be months) but eventually they will realize that you are NOT going o respond by text, phone or social media.

Agree with the other posters! Set all social media to private. I can relate to this - I live in the same neighborhood as my school and I run into families all the time - especially in the summer when I go to our neighborhood pool. It is unbelievable at times what some of these people will request of me during my off time and also what some of them will assume I will do for them because we are "friends" outside of school setting.

Why didn't your administrator just help the mom out? I'm sure he had keys to run up to school to retrieve the medication :sarcastic:

Specializes in School Nursing, Hospice,Med-Surg.

I get it!

I work in a small school (362 kids, K-8) that is connected to a church. Many of us are members of the church AND school. I have sorta become the school AND church nurse.

I often get weekend texts, emails, facebook messages for "nurse advice." I get approached at church. It sucks.

My first defense is that I do NOT friend any of these people on Facebook. EVER. NO excuses. Second, I do NOT check work email on the weekend. At least, that's what I tell people. If a parent sends me an email over the weekend or after hours, I ignore it.

Sadly, because I have a child in our school, my # is listed in the school directory. I do get parent texts because of this. No one YET has been ballsy enough to call me. I deal with these texts as quickly as possible and giving as little advice as possible. I haven't been tough yet but I will go there if the texts become too much.

I would be LIVID if my principal gave out my unlisted # (were it unlisted!)

You may even want to consider going by your maiden name or something on facebook for that additional layer of privacy. My hours are Monday - Friday. If I wanted to be on call, I would sign up for PRN at a hospital. And I just wonder how your principal would feel if the tables were turned and you gave out his personal number?????

I've had to put off friends from stuffing things in my mailbox to run up to school for their kids. Nope. Won't do it.

Luckily my friends know how mean I am and don't push it.

As for the rest of the neighborhood, I have no problem separating. Just Say No. My patented stare works if someone calls me Nurse Far at a party.

My friends have always come to me for nursey advice. I have so many pics of body parts on my phone it's not funny. That, I'll keep as is, because my advice has always been, go see a doctor (..if you think you have strep, or what that mole is, or if you thinkthe baby's head is crowning.)

My Principal wouldn't do that with my number, he's s pretty good guy.

Oh, and I'm not on social media. Never have been.

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