ok so we had this patient, and the general concensus is, they are a little whacked out! along with the family i might add!
well we were awaiting a call back from the patients pmd (primary medical doctor). when out er doc picked up the phone, i knew he was going to start out by telling the pmd about his crazy (i.e. in this case hypochondriac/munchowsers patient), and why they were here.
he started out by saying, "you know i'm calling because of this.....(and i knew nut was coming next!)
when i realized the overhead paging system was messed up, and i could here his phone conversation overhead!
i ran over and dragged my hand across my throat, as in stop! cut it out! he stopped and looked at me confused.
i whispered into his ear, the whole thing is being heard over head! he told the pmd to hold on, and put him on hold!
we then tried a few different lines, and used the overhead a few times, until it started to work normal again!
well he said, "as i was saying this nutty patient of yours, that is a head case....really has nothing wrong with her that i can find."
We had an ER doc once that loved to play jokes. He would squirt KY jelly down your back, put it on the phone receiver and then ask you to call a doc for him, etc. Once he took a GC swab and stuck it in a kiwi fruit and sent it to the lab!!
Oh yeah, the same doc told a patient and her husband that the next time they put a PEELED BANANA in her lady parts then can't get it out, for her to squat down and let him get a staw and have a "milkshake"! GROSS!!!! They thought it was funny and laughed it off
We had a doc that I was assisting with a pelvic exam once, and he was bold enough to ask her "who is your barber?" upon noticing her "mohawk" trim down there! Same doc , different patient, he asked me if I noticed anything remarkable about the pt during a pelvic exam. I said no, he said "she is a natural blonde, you can count the # of times you will see that in a month!" I thought for sure we would get sued! Pt evidently didn't pay attn, they did not react to the comment.
That happened to me one time, too, Amy! The Doc was seemingly obsessed with sex, and was one of those people thta will get in your space to have a normal conversation. He was kind of geeky-looking, too. When he made the comment that she was "a natural blonde-her hair matches!" I thought I was going to stroke! I gave him a look, and he just laughed, pervert that he was! The patient, a Bioenviromental Scientist that we worked with often, gave a faint laugh. What a jerk he was!
Im fortunate Cathy, being a male nurse and all, I never assist on ob gyn patients. However I do get the majority of the psychos and combative drunks. Being male, and 6 feet 2 inches and 230 lbs. Im jus a natural for those.
No Amy. Not the same one. The doc I referred to was in FL. Sad to think there are more than 1 or 2 of those kind of Physicians practicing, isn't it? PM me and let me know where you work.
Tom-watch your back dude. You know how predictably unpredictable those kinds of patients can be!
along with the family i might add!
CATHYW
564 Posts
i just read our two entries with a different emphasis on some of the words. yikes! my face is red! :imbar
ruh-roh!