How do you develop thick skin?

Specialties Operating Room

Published

This is a question for all. I've been told many times that you need to have thick skin to work in the OR and you can't take things personal.

Ok so i was wondering how do you develop thick skin and how do you learn to not take things so personal? I'm already nervous as a new grad, new RN but i notice i get really nervous when someone snaps or yells at me. Because i'm not on my own yet i don't feel as stressed, but i know once i'm on my own and a surgeon or someone is yelling at me i'm afraid i'm going to go blank or freeze up or maybe break down and cry later on. I'm afraid i'm going to be too sensitive and take things too personal and go home crying after every shift. I know its inevitable and that i will have to deal with surgeons yelling, throwing fits and taking it out on nurses but i'm afraid i won't handle it well. I'm the type who normally doesn't talk back or give attitude. I believe in not feeding more fuel to the fire, just let it burn out on its own. I just hope that i won't be taken advantage of or walked all over having this philosophy. I had a nurse yell at me today for being in the way and now i don't even want to look or talk to her anymore. She's a dominant type who i thought was nice but now i see her in a different light. She's on my witch list now and someone i hope won't precept me. Would this be considered taking it personal?

I would love to hear any tips, advice, words of wisdom, your experiences and what type of personality do you have. Please share. Thanks

IsseyM

Specializes in 5 yrs OR, ASU Pre-Op 2 yr. ER.
If the person/people you are working with are horrible, just say to yourself, "thank gosh I don't have to go home with these people"

I was saying this a lot today :stone

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Hi Jade,I get u r feeling.I have exprienced that many times through my carrer.Dont take it personal.dont take an vedatta. It will pass in a short time.Nurse is like a great wall,study to all hurling insults but still protects the ones who came to our care.Confine to a friend to let out u r feelings and you will be alright in a short time,soon setting an example to the exploited person.I have a feeling that you will soon be a good friend to that person.

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it has been hard for me to develop thick skin. Most of the time, i let people, scrubs, rn and crna and md to treat me like a door mat. my theory is, i let them say whatever they want to say, but i still go about doing things my own way. not to good for the pschy, but it is the only way i know to cope. i need help standing up for my self, anyone with sugestions?

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Specializes in OR.
it has been hard for me to develop thick skin. Most of the time, i let people, scrubs, rn and crna and md to treat me like a door mat. my theory is, i let them say whatever they want to say, but i still go about doing things my own way. not to good for the pschy, but it is the only way i know to cope. i need help standing up for my self, anyone with sugestions?
The OR I'm in now is pretty good for the most part. But I think I also was pretty tough when I got there because prior to that, I worked in a real jungle of an OR. People would sabotage equipment, make up ugly and hurtful rumors about each other etc. I got NO encouragement about nursing school-as a matter of fact, I overheard 2 techs say that I'd probably flunk out anyway!:angryfire This wasn't the docs, it was the staff. As much as it sucked to work there, it made me so strong. I think some of these people figure if they can't drive you to cry(or drink LOL) then you must be OK. They backed off eventually. I've found that confronting them right there and then about eye rolling etc seems to work the best. Stay calm when you do it and use a professional, calm manner. Something along the lines of, "you seem upset about something" or "Is there anything you'd like to discuss with me". The nicer you are, the more you make them look like a real jerk. I know, it's scary at first but you've got to nip it in the bud right away.
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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.
The OR I'm in now is pretty good for the most part. But I think I also was pretty tough when I got there because prior to that, I worked in a real jungle of an OR. People would sabotage equipment, make up ugly and hurtful rumors about each other etc. I got NO encouragement about nursing school-as a matter of fact, I overheard 2 techs say that I'd probably flunk out anyway!:angryfire This wasn't the docs, it was the staff. As much as it sucked to work there, it made me so strong. I think some of these people figure if they can't drive you to cry(or drink LOL) then you must be OK. They backed off eventually. I've found that confronting them right there and then about eye rolling etc seems to work the best. Stay calm when you do it and use a professional, calm manner. Something along the lines of, "you seem upset about something" or "Is there anything you'd like to discuss with me". The nicer you are, the more you make them look like a real jerk. I know, it's scary at first but you've got to nip it in the bud right away.

tess, did you work in another facility in the same state?

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Specializes in OR.
tess, did you work in another facility in the same state?
Yes. I've tried to block those 2 years out..The therapy is helping!(Just kidding..)
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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.
Yes. I've tried to block those 2 years out..The therapy is helping!(Just kidding..)

I think we live in the same state, quahog land? lol

and I possibly currently work in that same facility.......:uhoh3:

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Specializes in OR.
I think we live in the same state, quahog land? lol

and I possibly currently work in that same facility.......:uhoh3:

It's certainly possible, although for a small state, we have a lot of tough OR's. And you can't even have the satisfaction of telling these people off when/if you leave because you'll probably run into them again at some point!:lol2: Hang in there!
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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.
It's certainly possible, although for a small state, we have a lot of tough OR's. And you can't even have the satisfaction of telling these people off when/if you leave because you'll probably run into them again at some point!:lol2: Hang in there!

I see them in my sleep..........:uhoh3:

Really, though, I guess all OR's are like this, or it certainly isnt uncommon.

Actually, I heard, some of the other hospitals besides where I work in the state arent that bad, but who really knows, the OR is a whole new world to me, so I never payed attention.

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Specializes in OR.

RNOTODAY, I think i've figured out where you work! I've never worked there, but I did my last semester of clinicals there and have known people that have worked there...The place I worked was pretty toxic though, and the sad thing was, it wasn't everybody, just a few very bad apples. I think all ORs have strong personalities but some have a large number of evil people working there! That's the only word for some of these individuals, EVIL:devil: Management needs to step in, and if you have a weak manager, these people run rampant, making everyone else miserable...Get your experience, hold your head high, and when a better job comes along, take it..

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Specializes in NICU, ER, OR.
RNOTODAY, I think i've figured out where you work! I've never worked there, but I did my last semester of clinicals there and have known people that have worked there...The place I worked was pretty toxic though, and the sad thing was, it wasn't everybody, just a few very bad apples. I think all ORs have strong personalities but some have a large number of evil people working there! That's the only word for some of these individuals, EVIL:devil: Management needs to step in, and if you have a weak manager, these people run rampant, making everyone else miserable...Get your experience, hold your head high, and when a better job comes along, take it..

LOL What a small world:lol2: Weak management? We didnt even HAVE real management, so they tell us, until the last 8 months or so.... They brought in a traveling clinical manager, yes, a traveling , clinical manager. He was who hired my group, and implemented our orientation program. everybody there hated him. (and therefore, us, who were his "products") :uhoh3: Now, yes, we officially have weak spineless mgmnt. Just got an educator, though, so thats a good thing!!! They were without one for a couple years.

When I get experienced, I plan to leave. But I am unfamiliar with OR job opportunities around here. Like, whats the best place to work at, what experience I need, etc.

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