Take heart. I was a superstar in nursing school and I, too, am a complete OR retard. Any stupid thing that can be done--I've done it...twice, maybe three times. I now categorize the surgeons as 'thinks I'm a complete moron' or 'might not yet think I'm a complete moron.'
The other day, after 6 weeks of being precepted in circulating CABGs and valve replacements I was left alone to do a pacemaker lead extraction. I had only seen two prior, both done by different doctors. EVERYTHING the surgeon asked for I was like "Huh? What? What's it look like?" and my scrub tech who couldn't help me took more than a wee bit of pleasure in my suffering. After twice being asked for something I had never heard of, I finally went to my charge nurse and told her I needed someone with me who knew the equipment. At the end of the case the surgeon thanked everyone by name except for me and I felt like total crap.
The next day I circ'd a CABG/valve replacement by myself and things went a little smoother. I was nervous, and managed to contaminate a small mayo set-up during opening when a robnel wrapper ripped on me, but I told the scrub nurse ASAP and she was cool about it.
The thing that sucks is, if everyone knows it takes a year to be a decent OR nurse, why is there so much grumbling, laughing, eye-rolling, whispered comments, etc. by the senior staff. Sometimes I feel like they want us orientees to fail...and that sucks