Off orientation -- now MP is being so rude

MaryAnn_RN · Jul 11, 2008

So, I've been off orientation about a month now. Seem to be doing fine -- no complaints from the bosses. I'm getting along ok w/ staff, etc. But my former "master preceptor" has now turned into a total ***** to me. Before she was all smiles during the orientation, so nice and polite. Now everytime I have any dealings with her, she's so disrespectful and rude to me. Guess I'm just one of the staff now and will get treated like a workhorse/dog/slave like everyone else does.
It's discouraging to have this happen. I actually enjoyed my orientation somewhat. They did treat us well. But now this turnaround is like a slap in the face. Twice she has been so rude. I want to call her on it, but not sure if I should so soon. She's not really my boss, but she's part of the managment of the unit and close to the managers.
It's not like she's rude everytime -- but just anytime I ask for help. She's actually got a reputation for having anger issues, and much of the staff doesn't like her -- I just dont know what to do.
I'm ready to go to my boss over it, but not so sure I want to rock the boat too soon. On the other hand, I don't feel I deserve to be treated as a doormat either.

It sounds like she is the one with a problem. One of our sisters is like that too, gets very stressed and then gets snappy to all the other staff, especially the juniors. Don't worry about it, don't seek her approval, just go in and do your thing. Try not to give her any ammunition and ignore her if you can.

SoundofMusic · Jul 11, 2008

This is it -- she gets "snappy." It also seems to happen when she's communicated that she's "having a bad day."

And I just feel like saying, "Well, honey -- we're all having bad days here - but I don't use it as a license to walk all over my co-workers. Try some mood stabilizers or something, would you?"

I mean ....would it be too out of line to mention that to her??

(joking, of course . . . sort of). :uhoh3:

Fun2, BSN, RN · Jul 11, 2008

Ignore her....and kill 'er with kindness. ....They seem to hate that. :)

Lovely_RN, MSN · Jul 11, 2008

I think you should confront her every time she is rude to you.

When someone gives me attitude I will ask them (really nicely) are they O.K? and have I done something to make them mad with me. When they say no I will respond that I am asking because they seem to be angry and I want to make sure that I haven't done anything to them.

It works for me the person usually gets embarrassed and tones it down at least for a little while.

kriszurcj · Jul 17, 2008

From what I've heard the older nurses eat their young. That may be her way of dealing with the fact that you are now her equal? It made her feel good that you were less than her as a student, possibly. Sad huh. Don't let her insecure nature make you feel alienated.

missjennmb · Jul 17, 2008

This isnt an issue solely of nursing. I'm not a nurse, but have dealt with stuff like this on and off my whole career.

I agree with what BX_RN2B said, although with a different motivation. Try to understand that just because someone is being snippy with you does not mean its your fault and don't take it personal. I think that if she sees the "take a pill already honey" attitude from you, that would explain the attitude you get and will continue to get from her.

You don't know what her day has been like, and perhaps if you walk in her shoes you might have a "bad day" as well. Trying to understand and be considerate of your coworkers will go a lot further towards fixing this kind of thing than "calling her on it". If she feels like you care that she's having a rough time, she's way more likely to soften up to you than if she sees you coming (knowing you are "new") and probably knows before you get there that you most likely have a question/problem that will be added to her plate somehow.

I'm not saying she's right, but the world isnt so black and white and most of us have bad days. If I was snippy towards you on a bad day and you were understanding, I would be more apt to go out of my way to think before I speak, the next time we had to interact. ya know?