Personal viewpoints

imenid37 · May 5, 2004

We have the term breastfeeding nazis here in PA too! In talking to pt's I try not to give opinions. I tell pt's I am here for information, not to condemn them or tell them what to do (that's the mother-in-law's job!). I try to empower them and tell them it's your baby and because it is, you must decide. I do tell people that I can't condone things like smoking around the baby or refusing to use an infant corificeat. As long as it's not harmful, I can accept that someone else's idea of what's appropriate differs from mine. Parents get too many opinions and too much advice from family and friends they really need (IMHO) someone who validates their ability to know what's best for their family.

ayndim · May 5, 2004

Just wondering what you do when a patient asks for your opinion on something, especially things that tend to be very personal and sometimes controversial. Examples would be if they ask you if you think that circumcision should be done? or about vaccinations? or even parenting methods like Ferberizing(crying it out), BabyWise(book), etc?
I am in my preceptorship in postpartum and I have had this come up and not sure what is the right thing to do. Especially since I have very strong views on the subjects myself? I tried to give both sides of the coin, but wonder if it is ever okay to voice an opinion when asked.
Thanks!

I am from the Phoenix area too. Although we are in San Diego now while we wait for our house in Surprise to be built. Luckily I am going to Rio. What college are you attending?

Maybe we are just different in Phoenix. I am a breastfeeding, delayed vaccines and co-sleeping Mama. And as you can tell from my sig I also don't circ. But I do respect others choices for them and their own. Doesn't mean I agree but it is their choice. Unless asked outright what I did with my own kids I will point out the pros and cons and let the mom make her own choice. I won't lie if a mom asks me point blank if I did or didn't do something. I think it is hard to not let your opinions show some. If you could do that you wouldn't be human. I have heard that some hospitals don't want you to voice negative ideas about circs as it is a money maker for them. Not sure if that is true or just the rumor mill. Although when I had my boys (at John C. Lincoln North Mt) none of the nurses asked if I was circing. Don't know if it is because most women who have the CNM's don't or if it was in my chart. When I had my first (turned out to be a girl) dh did want to circ and the CNM gave him info on the pros and cons. She also explained why it wasn't necessary. I already knew I would have barred him from entering the hospital if he didn't agree not to. When I finally did have a boy I had already convinced dh not to (during 1st pg) and she didn't give me any info. She did say she was glad. The drs their also don't do circs that I know of. But she isn't employed by the hospital so she can say what she wants to her pts. Not sure how it works for people employed by the hospital. I don't think I could participate in one but I don't think a mom should have my opinion forced upon her either. Anyway I would check with the nurses at the hospital on that one. I have heard of nurses being disciplined for offer negative info on that one.

I think in the end the mom is going to do what she wants anyway. Some are just looking for someone to say it is okay to (circ/not circ, bf/ff or whatever) and will keep asking each nurse until they get affirmation.

allnurses Guide · May 5, 2004

I've also heard the term breastfeeding Nazi but have not met one. Our lactation consultant is wonderful and non-judgmental. Justs helps and gives info and supports whatever the mom chooses.

Gwen,I think your friends who tell stories about breastfeeding Nazi's do new moms a disfavor . . .scaring folks unnecessarily is not good either.

I give out an info sheet with questions to ask your doc before circs. Lots of questions about risks/benefits, pain control, etc.

I don't think having a bottle is going to keep a baby from breastfeeding well. My last son was given a bottle for jaundice (this was three years ago and the new info was already out about not needing to bottle feed jaundiced babies but oh well . . ). I breastfed him also. He will be three in July and is still breastfeeding and when I went back to work part-time when he was four months, we could NEVER get him to take a bottle. So those few bottles after he was 3 days old didn't harm him.

If a new mom asks me to share my experience, I will share that in a way that assures them that every family must make their own way.

steph

BittyBabyGrower, MSN, RN · May 5, 2004

When a parent asks an opionion I stay pretty neutral. I tell them that it is a personal choice for many things. I do warn them about sleeping with the baby, esp. preemies...we have had 3 deaths of our babies after they went home because of sleeping with the mom...one was breastfeeding, fell asleep and the little one got wedged between mom and the pillow...it was so tragic. With corificeats...it is a law, but you can't make them follow it.

As for the BF nazi...thankfully we got rid of one of ours...she was terrible and made a lot of mom's feel bad for not wanting to BF...we have many mom's that pump and give the little ones MBM for several months, but they aren't interested in BF...not their style. Each to their own!

L&D_RN_OH · May 7, 2004

Maybe we are just different in Phoenix. I am a breastfeeding, delayed vaccines and co-sleeping Mama.

Nope, I think there are a few of us crunchy folks everywhere. :) I am a breastfeeding, non vaccinating, cosleeping, cloth diapering, baby wearing Mom too.

When asked for opinions regarding breastfeeding, circs, vaccination, etc, I let the parents know what the AAP recommendations are, and try to point them in the right direction for them to do their own research. If they ask, point blank, what I have done, then i tell them, this is what worked for me........ but every baby is an individual so what works with one child may not work for another. I make it a point to say some parents do this....... while other parents choose to.....

It's a very invidual opinion. One that needs to be based on Mom and baby's personalities and their family dynamics.

manna, BSN, RN · May 7, 2004

Nope, I think there are a few of us crunchy folks everywhere. :) I am a breastfeeding, non vaccinating, cosleeping, cloth diapering, baby wearing Mom too.

Count me in as well .... well, I did vax my kids on schedule, but we still cosleep, BF (DS born 1/28/02), cloth diaper...

Long Term Care Columnist / Guide · May 8, 2004

After listening to our parents and the so-called "experts" with the first two kids, we finally got smart and did the co-sleeping and baby-wearing thing with our last two. Never regretted a minute of it, and the boys were a whole lot happier as babies than their sisters were. I didn't BF though.....I almost starved the first one to death, didn't have enough milk to keep a bird alive, let alone a 9-lb-11-oz baby, and that put me off the whole business. Besides, I liked not having to be there with the plumbing at every single feeding.......however, I do advocate for breastfeeding when I work on the maternity floor, and I've even learned enough about it over the years to be a halfway decent teacher.

I find that new moms want information above almost everything else......all one has to do is look at the pictures of my four kids which are attached to my ID badge, and they start asking me all kinds of questions. They want to know what childbirth was like in the "old days" (!), how I managed a houseful of kids, what I did when they were naughty, and how things turned out. Now, I believe in presenting more than one side to every debate, and I always tell moms that every family is different and has to figure out its own unique way of doing things.......but I also tell them, because they ASK, what worked and didn't work for mine.

It's like everything else we do in nursing: some patients will respond to one thing, while others will respond better to something else........and if we're smart, we individualize the care---AND the advice---we give each one. :)