Funny things that pt's say! - page 2

Pt comes in, ask her what brought her in today, she says that MD checked her in the office and then she had some spotting so she thinks that her "mucous cord broke". Checked a pt, she was 4... Read More

  1. by   ShandyLynnRN
    Thanks Indynurse. Those sound much more soothing that the disposable sitz baths we have. I usually just tell my patients to get in the shower and use the removable shower head to spray their bottom. Much less messy too!
  2. by   moz
    I had a pt call her amniotic fluid "babysauce" in a cutesy way, and I still think of that term nearly every time I see it.

    I love the primips who rate their pain as an "8" and are 1 cm.

    You shouldn't jump up and down when you are pregnant or your water pipes might break.

    A pt didn't say this, but M-I-L when I was pregnant- don't raise your arms over your head or it will wrap the cord around the baby's neck.
  3. by   ShandyLynnRN
    BABYSAUCE!!!! LOL!!!
  4. by   RN2B2005
    The OB nurse who was with me when I delivered my son must have some stories to tell.

    Right after he was held up for me to see, I said..."Wow, he looks like a real baby!".

    I meant that he didn't have a squashed head and that "unbaked" look some newborns have, but I'm sure the nursing staff thought I was nuts.
  5. by   PennyLane
    Hahah, RN2B2005, I hope you don't mind but I picture someone who thought they were having an alien baby or something... Whoa! It's a REAL baby! lol. That just strikes me so funny somehow.
  6. by   2banurse
    Originally posted by ShandyLynnRN
    prob a dumb question... what's a surgigator?
    Good question ShandyLynn.
  7. by   2banurse
    Scratch that, I just saw the explanation!!!
  8. by   AlaskaKat
    Had a patient that was about 24 weeks pregnant ask to see my Mother/Baby ID badge when I entered the room. I told her it was change of shift and hadn't gotten it yet (I was just answering her call light), and besides, there was no baby for me to steal! She said yeah, but you might knock me out, do a C-Section, and steal my baby...
  9. by   at your cervix
    Originally posted by moz
    I love the primips who rate their pain as an "8" and are 1 cm.

    Everyone thinks that their contractions are a 10, until they meet up with number 11!
  10. by   mother/babyRN
    Oh my gosh, those are ALL hilarious stories. Just got an email from a NP friend of mine who actually had a woman tell her she ovulated an egg out of her vagina...Some days it doesn't pay to go into work.
  11. by   rdhdnrs
    From a pt who needed a foley "How long do I have to have this capitol in me?" Another: "I'm dilated 2 sinkometers" Also,"My wife is being inducted; when are ya'll going to start that there dioxin?"
    From an African American pt "I have ringworm on my shoulder; if I put bleach on it, will my baby turn white?"
  12. by   legsmalone
    I had the patient who didn't know she was pregnant have her baby in the toliet, then right after they get her into the ambulance, her roomate (and ex girlfriend of my patients FOB) goes into labor too.
    They ended up with rooms next door to each other... thought it was "really cool" they both had their babies on the same day......
  13. by   at your cervix
    had a pt come in, i asked her when she was due, she said in february but they are going to induce me in december because i never carry my babies to full term. (well no wonder if we keep inducing you 2 months early!!!!) do people really think that we are that stupid???????????