Funny things that pt's say!

Specialties Ob/Gyn

Published

Pt comes in, ask her what brought her in today, she says that MD checked her in the office and then she had some spotting so she thinks that her "mucous cord broke".

Checked a pt, she was 4 cm-primip. Her mother starts having a freak out fit and says that I need to call the doctor right away. I ask why, she says "because all of my babies were born when I was only dilated to 5 cm." BTW, pt ended up with c section for failure to progress at 8 cm several hours later.

Pt came in at 30 weeks in "labor" for the 6th time in 3 weeks, cervix was thick and closed and she told me that the last time she was in she was crowning when she came in but the nurse pushed the head back in and told her to go home. (cool new treatment for ptl!!):eek:roll BTW, this pt also had c section at full term for failure to progress-I guess whe should push those heads up there more often!

Pt called MD and said that she had some bleeding after she had a BM. MD said that it sounded like some rectal bleeding, maybe from hemmroids and it was a very small amt so she didn't need to worry about it. Pt then said "it isn't coming from that hole, it is coming from, you know the other hole." MD replied "you mean your lady parts." Pt says "well, yeah, I think so, but I'm not sure." Pt had said that it was a little bit of blood on the tissue so MD told her it was probably not a problem, told pt to watch for heavier bleeding and see her in the office on monday (this was a saturday afternoon). The pt said "are you sure?" The MD does not like it when people ask her if she is sure so she said "You don't know your butt from your lady parts and YOU are asking ME if I'M sure?" Pt sent her flowers on monday with a card that said hope you had a good weekend!

Come on, I know that you all have some good ones to share with the rest of us!!!!

Specializes in OB.
I walked in to hear a pt on the phone explaining that she was getting antibiotics b/c she had strep like in your throat except hers was in her lady parts.. :chuckle

Actually this is how I explain GBS to some of my patients and their S.O's, particularly to emphasize that it is NOT an STD.

Specializes in CCU stepdown, PACU, labor and delivery.

Oooh...this is a fun one! I had someone come in for "traptions", another ask " How come this is taking so long? Every baby on A Baby Sory is born in a couple of minutes." Had some one check in for "fetal distress" b/c she had gotten into a verbal fight and the baby could probably hear curse words at this point in pregnancy.

This past weekend I had a G2 in active labor ask my NST for some Tylenol. My NST said she'd tell her nurse, then asked if she had a HA. The patient replied "no, I need it for these contractions". My NST tells me this at the desk as I was getting her epidural papers ready. I went into the patient, inquired again why she wanted the Tylenol to which she replied for the contractions. I just smiled and told her it wasn't going to work "how about an epidural?". Ofcourse I work nites and this became the running theme for the weekend...

How about the phone calls in the middle of the night... "I'm 6 months pregnant and my husband and I just had sex. When I got up I think my water broke, something ran down my leg. What should I do?" Upon assurance after some further triaging, "What do you think it was?" :chuckle Hmmm, any takers????

I was at triage one day when a young professional man came in with a worried look on his face. When I asked him what he was in for, he stated "well I think I have caught something from one of my co workers" Ok I said (expecting a cold or something) he says in a low hushed voice "well he is bipolar and I think I caught it from him" . Well I had to take a moment and excuse myself as I was crying with laughter.........

Specializes in Corrections, Pediatrics, Adult Health ...

OMG. I am getting ready to do my OB/Peds rotation and this is what I have to look forward to ... This is going to be a riot!

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