First of all I want to say sorry to you. Second thank you for having the courage to write down your thoughts during this tough time.
I had a miscarriage this summer at 12 wks... I never could have imagined that an early loss could have been so terrible but for me it was. I got much more support from people on line than I think I did in real life because most of the comments I heard from people were those you mentioned.
I work in OB and have a new found respect for anyone going thru a loss at any stage of pregnancy. We do have the now I lay me down to sleep program at our hospital and other bereavement steps that we go thru. However if a person is under 20 wks there is really nothing done... I inquired about it and my director told me that we were not in charge of bereavement on med surg because pt's that are under 20 wks are not "our" patients.
When I had my d&c... at the hospital I work at, with nurses caring for me that I have worked with. NOT one said anything about a baby, no one asked how I was feeling, physically or emotionally... I had been bleeding, cramping and dying inside for 3 wks before I finally made the decision for surgery... these nurses were obviously uncomfortable with the whole process, I felt like no one really took care of me... My OB was really great for the two seconds I remember seeing her, she said she understood, she too had endured several miscarriages and eventually adopted, she knew it would be hard to go back to work...
I still know exactly how many weeks I'd be... The countdown is getting closer and closer, I know that my due date will be hard, I took that week off from work... We've been trying again and I just got a bfp so here's hoping this little one sticks!!
Again I'm sorry