I used to think I didn’t have what it took to be a nurse. So I didn’t go to school to become one. When it came time to choose a major, I didn’t even consider nursing- not because it didn’t interest me, but because I didn’t think I could get through nursing school. I didn’t think I was good enough, tough enough, or smart enough.
In 1988, as a teenager in my first year of college, I still suffered from the crippling insecurities of adolescence. Although I always worked hard and made good grades, I sold myself short. Gina, my best friend and college roommate, chose nursing. Her mother was a nurse, so I figured that Gina was a natural fit for the profession. Day by day I observed Gina closely as she came home from school, deeply absorbed in her studies. Every week I looked forward to hearing her animated stories about caring for patients. As a student nurse, Gina was taking on so much responsibility and being challenged in so many ways- intellectually, emotionally, physically.
While I envied her, and a part of me wanted so badly to walk in her shoes, a little voice inside my head insisted I wasn't good enough. That little voice convinced me that there was no way I could give someone a shot...or clean up an incontinent patient, or, worst of all... deal with a patient dying. So, I decided to earn a degree in business administration.
In college I had the opportunity to take a semester off to work full time as an intern at a technology firm, earning college credit plus a generous wage. The work was interesting, the money was good, and the employees I worked with were engaged. However despite the positive environment, during that semester it hit me: if I continued on the current path, I was very likely to have a "desk job" for the rest of my working life. Even if I were to find a career which allowed me to move around a bit, the goal of my work would likely be to make a company more profitable. While this may be exciting and motivating to many, it was depressing to me. I felt doomed, and realized I had to do something quickly to re-route my future. I needed to find a career which allowed me to work to benefit people, not corporations. A career rich with intrinsic rewards which would keep me motivated and interested, and actually wanting to go to work for the next 30 or 40 years.
By the last semester of college, armed with this realization, a little additional life experience and a lot more confidence, I decided that I was going to become a nurse. Nursing was exactly what I wanted to do, but didn't have guts to pursue until I was 21. I graduated in 1992 with a Bachelor's Degree in Business Administration, moved back to my home town, got a job, then went to a community college for four years, part time, to earn an Associate's Degree in Nursing.
From the minute I began the program, I knew I had made the right decision. For the first time ever, every class fascinated me. The "work" of patient care was more rewarding than any job I had ever had or could imagine having, and I realized that nursing was a dynamic, stimulating career. I couldn't wait to be a "real nurse". The four years of nursing school flew by.
Almost 20 years later, the learning continues and the rewards of the profession are endless. There have been plenty of bumps in the road, but none that have made me even consider taking another path. Instead, nursing has given me the opportunity to walk many different paths at the same time, and see new scenery every day. I have even learned to give shots, clean up poop, and deal with death. In fact, some of the most rewarding moments I've had as a nurse have been in the midst of very challenging or sad situations. Being able to find the rewards in these moments has been the key to my resiliency and is the main "skill" I try to teach my nursing students. I think this "skill" will probably benefit them more as nursing students and later as "real nurses", than any other skill.
Currently I work as a clinical instructor for new nursing students, a staff nurse in a Pediatric ER, and write periodically for Allnurses.com. I'm preparing to return to school to earn a PhD in Nursing. Every day that I go to "work", whether it is as a staff nurse or as an educator, I am humbled by the rewards of the profession I chose. Nursing truly is the greatest career in the world. And now I know that I'm good enough.
Specializes in Pediatric Emergency & Nurse Education.
Fast forward, my Dad got cancer, and I was his primary caregiver, and what an honor that was.
Over the last seven years, I did my prerequisites, waited to get into an ADN program, and became a RN in Dec'14. I'm 50. Of course, I haven't been able to get an interview for any acute care positions, but I keep applying.
Great article!
Thank you so much for sharing your journey to nursing! I can really relate to it. And don't give up applying for acute care positions if that is what you want to do- There are certainly advantages to being a little older- some of my students are in their 40's and I notice that they often serve as role models for the other students - they are often more comfortable touching patients, communicating with patients, families and co-workers, and dealing with some of the negative situations that require assertive communication or giving someone else the benefit of the doubt! than some of the younger nurses.
I went back to nursing school when I was 37. I, like the author had always had a fascination with nursing but life got in the way. Graduated in 1996 with a Communications degree, got married and got a decent job. Got divorced and moved home and got another decent job. Applied to nursing school and got too sick to attend, then the next year decided to get married. Kept moving up the corporate ladder and decided not to go. Fast forward to 2010 - got laid off from the corporation I'd put 10 years of my life into. Perfect time to go back! My twins started Kindergarten and I started NS in 2011. And I truly love what I do!
Any one that thinks they're "too old" - you're not. Trust me!
I loved reading this! I find myself doubting myself almost every other day and this really motivated me! I know that nursing is for me and I must continue on this journey no matter how hard it may seem...thank you for sharing your story with us!
Oh my god I was going to put a similar post. I just got into nursing school at 36 years old and my twins will be starting kindergarten when I start as well! Same with me life got in the way as well as doubt and even though it's much harder for me now to do this program I am 100 percent more dedicated and motivated because of it. How is it all working out for you? (In reply to twinmom)
I needed this! Thank you so much. As a rising senior in my nursing program and a second career nursing student, I was starting to have my doubts that I could really do this. I love patient care, that I know. Your article helped to calm my fears. Thank you!!
37? Am 35 and have a degree in engineering! Maybe I chose the wrong field..yes I did. Am starting nursing school next semester and am just too excited but everyone thinks am crazy. A career switch does make sense to me especially when you're just not happy with what you do. Am sure I'll have tales like this to tell one day soon too.
I was an Ok student in high school but found it boring and it was hard to study something boring. I was a candy striper with a friend of mine and really enjoyed it vut thought I wasnt smart enough. Eventually I realized I had to try, and while it challenged every part of me I felt alive in a new way. Thanks for sharing. No one thought of me as a nurse, including myself except my husband.
Thank God he believed in me and encouraged me to go for it.
I, too, always wanted to be a nurse! I remember my mom telling me, "Don't be a nurse, don't be a teacher, go into business". Ms. magazine was in our house, my mom hadn't gone to college, she was divorced and working for very little money. I didnt believe in my ability to succeed in the sciences, so I wound up with a BA in marketing. The epitome of making money for the company! I worked at some cool places, made decent money, but never loved it. When my 2nd child was born, I quit. Stayed home. LOVE my 3 kids, but always wanted to go back to the "structure" of work.
Fast forward, my Dad got cancer, and I was his primary caregiver, and what an honor that was.
Over the last seven years, I did my prerequisites, waited to get into an ADN program, and became a RN in Dec'14. I'm 50. Of course, I haven't been able to get an interview for any acute care positions, but I keep applying.
Great article!
Congrats on getting your RN! that is awesome
I would not rule out starting at a LTC facility as a way to get some experience. Many people start this way for a year or so. May not be ideal but it's a way to start
This article made me so happy to read. It's articles like this that make me love AllNurses! I love the nursing profession so much and I'm so proud and happy that there are other nurses out there that feel the same way I do. Thank you for this article!
I always knew I wanted to be a nurse. My godmother was a fantastic nurse and someone to look up to. My school qualifications were not high enough but I had always looked after people. Having gained life skills and experience I had the opportunities to go to university in my 30's to become a nurse. I qualified in my early 40's and love my job. The variety of work changes and can be challenging but it is a great privilege to do the job I love. I am so glad I never gave up on what I truly wanted to do.
ElizabethStoneRN
5 Articles; 41 Posts
Thank you so much for sharing your journey to nursing! I can really relate to it. And don't give up applying for acute care positions if that is what you want to do- There are certainly advantages to being a little older- some of my students are in their 40's and I notice that they often serve as role models for the other students - they are often more comfortable touching patients, communicating with patients, families and co-workers, and dealing with some of the negative situations that require assertive communication or giving someone else the benefit of the doubt! than some of the younger nurses.