You Can Help!!

[Rustyhammer]

Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are

living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure

salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of

heir life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a

result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help! For only $20,835

a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen

projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during

his time of need. This contribution by no

means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum

salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball

player it could mean the difference between spending the strike

golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred

dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two

unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a

baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your

commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home

entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or

enjoy a weekend in Rio.

HOW WILL I KNOW I'M HELPING?

Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the

player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k),

real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.

Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo

of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the

Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the

photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

HOW WILL HE KNOW I'M HELPING?

Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to

help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your

name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special

operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

YES, I WANT TO HELP!

I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is

checked below:

[ ] Infielder

[ ] Outfielder

[ ] Starting Pitcher

[ ] Ace Pitcher

[ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost

of a specific team - $10 per minute)

[ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for

the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the

player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement

and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat

(include $80 for hat).

Your Name: _______________________

Telephone Number: _______________________

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________

Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):

Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______

[ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover

Signature: _______________________

Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call

1-900-SCREW-THE-FANS now

to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).

[nakitamoon]

LMAO! Sad,,,, but true,,,,, Nik~~~

[Sable's mom]

:roll :chuckle :wink2:

Great!! Too bad they settled sso they no longer need our money!!

[ktwlpn, LPN]

I'll make my pledge directly to Derek Jeter...Not only cash but any and all available...services....So WHAT I'm old enough to be his mother....I could show him things he's never seen (HAHAHA) Unless he happened to walk in on his momma while she was in a state of undress....

[CATHYW]

The whole shootin' match of them are greedy Gus's! I'm glad they didn't hold out forever. I am a Braves fan, but football season is here, so it sure wouldn't have been a problem to forget about baseball! :roll

[Hardknox]

I enjoyed it when I posted it a few days ago but I guess some people didn't find it so funny.

https://allnurses.com/forums/showthread.php?s=&threadid=21525