You Can Help!!

  1. Hundreds of Major League Baseball players in our very own nation are
    living at, just below, or in most cases far above the seven-figure
    salary level. And as if that weren't bad enough they could be deprived of
    heir life giving pay for several months, possibly longer, as a
    result of the upcoming strike situation. But you can help! For only $20,835
    a month, about $694.50 a day (that's less than the cost of a large screen
    projection TV) you can help a MLB player remain economically viable during
    his time of need. This contribution by no
    means solves the problem as it barely covers the annual minimum
    salary, but it's a start, and every little bit will help!

    Although $700 may not seem like a lot of money to you, to a baseball
    player it could mean the difference between spending the strike
    golfing in Florida or on a Mediterranean cruise. For you, seven hundred
    dollars is nothing more than a month's rent, half a mortgage payment, two
    unemployment checks, or a month of medical insurance with COBRA, but to a
    baseball player, $700 will partially replace his daily salary. Your
    commitment of less than $700 a day will enable a player to buy that home
    entertainment center, trade in the year-old Lexus for a new Ferrari, or
    enjoy a weekend in Rio.

    Each month, you will receive a complete financial report on the
    player you sponsor. Detailed information about his stocks, bonds, 401(k),
    real estate, and other investment holdings will be mailed to your home.
    Plus, upon signing up for this program, you will receive an unsigned photo
    of the player lounging during the strike on a beach somewhere in the
    Caribbean (for a signed photo, please include an additional $150). Put the
    photo on your refrigerator to remind you of other peoples' suffering.

    Your MLB player will be told that he has a SPECIAL FRIEND who just wants to
    help in a time of need. Although the player won't know your
    name, he will be able to make collect calls to your home via a special
    operator in case additional funds are needed for unforeseen expenses.

    I would like to sponsor a striking MLB player. My preference is
    checked below:

    [ ] Infielder
    [ ] Outfielder
    [ ] Starting Pitcher
    [ ] Ace Pitcher
    [ ] Entire team (Please call our 900 number to ask for the cost
    of a specific team - $10 per minute)
    [ ] Alex Rodriguez (Higher cost: $60,000 per day)

    Please charge the account listed below $694.50 per day for the player for
    the duration of the strike. Please send me a picture of the
    player I have sponsored, along with an Alex Rodriguez 2001 Income Statement
    and my very own Donald Fehr MLB Players Union pin to wear proudly on my hat
    (include $80 for hat).

    Your Name: _______________________
    Telephone Number: _______________________
    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
    Signature: _______________________

    Alternate card (when the primary card exceeds its credit limit):
    Account Number: _______________________ Exp.Date:_______
    [ ] MasterCard [ ] Visa [ ] American Express [ ] Discover
    Signature: _______________________

    Mail completed form to MLB Players Union or call
    1-900-SCREW-THE-FANS now
    to enroll by phone ($10 per minute).
  2. Visit Rustyhammer profile page

    About Rustyhammer

    Joined: Jul '01; Posts: 4,288; Likes: 31


  3. by   nakitamoon
    LMAO! Sad,,,, but true,,,,, Nik~~~
  4. by   Sable's mom
    :roll :chuckle :wink2:
    Great!! Too bad they settled sso they no longer need our money!!
  5. by   ktwlpn
    I'll make my pledge directly to Derek Jeter...Not only cash but any and all WHAT I'm old enough to be his mother....I could show him things he's never seen (HAHAHA) Unless he happened to walk in on his momma while she was in a state of undress....
  6. by   CATHYW
    The whole shootin' match of them are greedy Gus's! I'm glad they didn't hold out forever. I am a Braves fan, but football season is here, so it sure wouldn't have been a problem to forget about baseball! :roll
  7. by   Hardknox
    I enjoyed it when I posted it a few days ago but I guess some people didn't find it so funny.