What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

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what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?

Specializes in Geri, psych, TCU, neuro--AKA LTC.

You could have explained that there's a manual release on that thing...:D

A sharp tap usually takes care of those! In an emergency situation, of course! ;o))

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

Ice poured in the groin would work quite nicely!!!!!!

Well, let's see. I had a patient who told me that I was her maid and that I was to wipe her. I told her she would be surgically removed from the bedpan before I ever touched her. I had a woman ask if she could touch my hair, touched it without permission, commented on the fact that it didn't feel like steel wool and then asked if she offended me. I told her that stupidity does offend me. I had a lady screaming at the top of her lungs. When we got to her room she said" put my hand to my mouth." I just walked out. I had a male patient screaming at the top of his lungs, and when I got to his room he said--are ya ready? --"I can't breathe." :(

We were having the "night from hell" in our Knife And Gun Club ED and I was working with another RN and some baby surgical residents (newbies). We had just received another GSW to the head, blood everywhere, people running amuck and pale surgical residents to boost. The trauma bay doors are shut, we are running around attempting intubation and IV's when this wild eyed woman bursts through the doors screaming "When are you guys going to get the time to give me my papers, my cootchie itches and I need to get some cream!" I was deemed useless after that, can't die laughing and expect me to be able to find a vein??????

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Ok kiddo, YOU win!

ooops gotta try it again

Originally posted by bettybobbs

I have had some real goodies in my nursing career. Once a patient asked me to roll her hair after she had showered and put on makeup herself. I stated to her I don't roll my own hair and never learned. I studied nursing not cosmotology. Once while giving a backrub to a young male bedridden patient, he got an erection. He said to me,"Betty look what you did to me, Can you take care this too?" I looked him straight in the eye and said, "Sorry that's not part of the service".

go to thus link for my pathetic joke... http://www.funpic.hu/ad/ad3177.jpg
Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Ha ha.....The last part of your story has also happened to me but I was so shocked by it, I had no idea what to say......:)

Made the mistake of politely asking my paient roommate, (new admit) what he was here for (nice nursing school open ended question). He promptly dropped his pants to show me how his new implant worked (must have been at least 70 maybe older). Only time in my life I have been speechless.

Don't you love it when your patients in the ED bring in their vomit or the blood they hawked up at home to show you; just in case you didn't believe them.

I had a rehab patient ask me for a hand job. Before I could get a word out he was quick to say "Oh, I asked my wife and she said to go ahead and have the nurses take care of me". Gee, Thanks.

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