What are some of the most ridiculous things patients have asked of you?

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what are some of the most ridiculous or outrageous things patients have asked of you? i am nurse one of two nurses with 4 patients the other night in delivery. place was hopping. i answered the light of one of the other nurses patients, who was a very immature primip (married), whom we were certain, at some point, due to her clinical picture, was going to be a c/s. she wanted to make certain i knew how to detach her from the monitor and help her to the bathroom. no problem. however, not two minutes after i had left the room, she rang again and began yelling. her nurse was busy (did i mention we had 3 other patients in active labor?) so i went in, expecting some sort of major problem. she asked me to scratch her ass...in those words, exactly...i was taken aback and she had to have noticed my facial expression as she quickly countered that she couldn't reach and her husband, who was wide awake next to her, didn't want to do it....i am ashamed to say that i did put on some gloves and not too willingly scratched it, but when she insisted we start wiping her after trips to the bathroom, i just had to ask how she had managed to reach herself all the months leading up to her current admission. she was also ruptured so there was no way....she was a real trip....i have also had patients ask that we pop zits and in my cardiac unit days, some of the requests from patients are just too risque to repeat, but never had i had such wacky requests on a regular basis, until i transferred to ob...how about all of you?

At my last job we had a patient with +++Psych Hx who was awaiting PCH placement. Boy did she ever know how to use her phone. Soon after she was admitted she figured out that she could get faster service if she rang the nursing desk to ask for something than if she used her call light. Did I mention that she had a lot of behavior problems? When she didin't get what she wanted from staff, she would call 911 or various other hotlines around the city and state her problem. Then they would call the desk and want to know why we were abusing her like that.

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

lol! The other night was horrifically busy and we had one pt's significant other come to the desk and ask us if we would like some pizza. Normally I would politely refuse but we were famished so I said sure...HE tells me go ahead and order and he'll pay me back the next time I'm on! Right! No pizza was forthcoming....

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

I should add that the reason I thought this was beyond belief is because his girlfriend was actively pushing and we had a couple of other patients. First, I could not believe that he would leave her to ask us (I thought he was leaving to go get pizza) AND then not pay for it....He mentioned that we had no idea how tired and hungry he was (huh??), or how stressed out he was. He then went on to ramble about how it was all about her ( the girlfriend)- I DID mention she was fully, pushing (screaming)..

I tried to tactfully remind him that he needed to be in the room to support the girl, and he looked me straight in the eye and said, "Why , thats what YOU"RE here for)....There are some you could just smack upside the head and STILL be politically correct...

I posted this before on another thread but it happened about 4 months ago and it still makes me nauseous....

I had just finished doing a foley on an older patient when out of the blue and in front of my Instructor and three other students, he proceeded to ask me "Well, since you are done playing with my member. Can I play with your lady parts???

The nerve!!!

Specializes in correctional-CCHCP/detox nurse, DOULA-Birth Assist.

Had an older lady come into the ER complaining of a broken fingernail, demanding to be seen S-T-A-T (she must have heard that word on a tv show). Took her information and told her to have a seat, finger is fine not a scratch or discoloration. About 15 minutes pass when she comes up to the desk and wants to know whats taking so long, "you don't look that busy". I should have taken her in the back and showed her the soldier that was brought in with the broken arm, the man with the acute chest pain, and the kid who was vomiting up her lunch all over the gurney accompied by the mom with 2 other smaller kids who were practicing plumbing on the sink in the next bay.She gets back to the treatment area and demands that we reattach her fingernail because she has some social function that she needs to attend later that evening. Needless to say she was not happy when our doc looked at her and said "we need to amputate" and snipped it the rest of the way off (cool doc) I wished the kid had puked on her before she left.

A collegaue had an elderly patient ask her to scoop out water from the toilet because his balls would hit the water. Apparently his wife does this for him all the time. I suggested she offer to tape them to his abdomen!!

Scratch my ass is a common one I hear. I also love the visitors who decide that they are in a combo free clinic, pharmacy,restaraunt,hotel. Can you check my BP, can I have tylenol for a headache, can you get me something to eat, where is my cot? NO, no, no and we don't have those!

There was a 21 year old girl on our floor that had a c section. She was about 300 pounds and was a real bed slug. It took dynamite and an act of congress just to get her to try and turn over in bed. She called me in the room and said since she was in so much pain (eating a Burger King wopper and shake while flipping through the soap operas and laughing on the phone with some friends) could she smoke in her room and could I get her a cigarette and light if for her. :eek: Needless to say I went and got two other nurses and we got her up moaning and groaning (I'm telling the dr about this!) and sent her out to smoke:rolleyes:

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Oh my gosh...The scratch my ass thing was a new one on me....And labornurse, I DO hear you on the patient YOU described...I just tell them I was back to work 8 weeks after my last c/s, which was my third in as many years...When their eyes go back to normal, they realize that they will not get a major amount of sympathy from me....Thankyou all, for sharing...:)

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

Fedup nurse, this will really date me, but had the guy worried about having his balls touch the water EVER been taught how to build a Bellvue Bridge? I was floated not too long ago and ended up doing vs on a pt with extreme scrotal edema. I went ahead and assembled some tape, gauze, what have you, and proceeded to "build" a Bellvue bridge to support the scrotum. Upstart new grad comes in and demands to know what the heck (a bit more extreme language, actually), so I decided to mess with her and tell her I'm building a Bellvue bridge...She gets totally exasperated and then blurts out that shes glad we OB people have enough time to play games...Calmly I bring her back to reality and show her how to actually do it, explaining the good points about it...She ended up apologizing and following me around for all my good tips, past and present.....

I t wasn't the patient who asked but me, the nurse. I was just beginning to pass meds at the nursing home and I had a med. cup with dark liquid when for some reason the first resident's room door came slamming toward me. My hands were full and the door hit me smack in the medicine cup spilling the liquid all over my white uniform top. I knew if I left it all over me it would stain (did I mention this was at the beginning of my shift). There was one sweet lady about my size (I was pregnant and not on the skinny side) who I knew was well kept. I went in and explained and asked to borrow one of her blouses. I scrubbed and soaked my uniform top in the mean time. Well, needless to say the rest of my shift was done in the brightest, polyester knit button down blouse I've ever seen but at least it allowed me to finish my shift. I washed her blouse and gave it back to her on my next shift. I'll never forget that she was so nice to do that. I learned after that to watch for flying doors.

I have a friend who is a PP nurse and she's always told me how whiny and demanding the new mums are. Whew!!!

I think a lot of really weird request come from just a total lack of understanding as to how things really work, don't you?

Love

Dennie

P.S. I've made little scrotum supports for guys - I usually roll up a towel and put a pillowcase around it so it's smoother and less irritating.

One line you'll NEVER hear a woman say: "now that's an attractive scrotum."

Love

Dennie

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