Things we all would like to say at work, but can't.

Nurses Humor

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1. I can see your point, but I still think you're full of it.

2. I don't know what your problem is, but I'll bet it's hard to pronounce.

3. How about never? Is never good for you?

4. I see you've set aside this special time to humiliate yourself in public.

5. I'm really easy to get along with once you people learn to see it my way.

6. I'll try being nicer if you'll try being smarter.

7. I'm out of my mind, but feel free to leave a message..

8. I don't work here. I'm a consultant.

9. It sounds like English, but I can't understand a word you're saying.

10. Ahhh...I see the screw-up fairy has visited us again...

11. I like you. You remind me of when I was young and stupid.

12. You are validating my inherent mistrust of strangers.

13. I have plenty of talent and vision. I just don't care.

14. I'm already visualizing the duct tape over your mouth.

15. I will always cherish the initial misconceptions I had about you.

16. Thank you. We're all refreshed and challenged by your unique point of view.

17. The fact that no one understands you doesn't mean you're an artist.

18. Any connection between your reality and mine is purely coincidental.

19. What am I? Flypaper for freaks!?

20. I'm not being rude. You're just insignificant.

21. It's a thankless job, but I've got a lot of Karma to burn off.

22. Yes, I am an agent of Satan, but my duties are largely ceremonial.

23. And your crybaby whiny opinion would be...?

24. Do I look like a people person?

25. This isn't an office. It's Hell with fluorescent lighting.

26. I started out with nothing & still have most of it left.

27. Sarcasm is just one more service we offer.

28. If I throw a stick, will you leave?

29. Errors have been made. Others will be blamed.

30. Whatever kind of look you were going for, you missed.

31. I'm trying to imagine you with a personality.

32. A cubicle is just a padded cell without a door.

33. Can I trade this job for what's behind door #1?

34. Too many freaks, not enough circuses.

35. Nice perfume. Must you marinate in it?

36. Chaos, panic, & disorder - my work here is done.

37. How do I set a laser printer to stun?

38. I thought I wanted a career, turns out I just wanted pay checks.

Specializes in cardiac, diabetes, OB/GYN.

I have to say that I have used number 3 on more than one occasion....:)

unfortunately I have a new catch phrase

"what are you mumbling about now?"

it rears its ugly head at work sometimes even heh

I'm sorry. This problem is an emergency on what planet?

I know you have been waiting a long time, but we see the sick patients first.

I apologize for giving you the impression I care.

No, we do not routinely give narcotics for hang nails.

If this were a true emergency I would not be laughing quite so loudly.

Gary

Yes, you are the physician, and I am "only a nurse."

Yes, you write the orders, and I make sure the orders are followed.

Nevertheless, you would do well to remember that I am 6'4", 250 lbs, and spent 14 years in the US Army, and that was before I was a nurse. I spent that time learning and doing things that were intentionally designed to inflict pain and physical damage. Yell, throw another temper tantrum, or belittle another of my colleagues, and I might just have a flashback.

Kevin McHugh

"Attention all ER shoppers, we will be closing in 15 minutes. Please make your last complaints and exit the building..."

;)

Kevin,

I saw a bumper sticker the other day. "If it weren't for flashbacks I'd have no memory at all." I think I need a t-shirt with that printed on it. Gary

Specializes in Nephrology, Cardiology, ER, ICU.

Kevin - come work with me!!! Also, I had to laugh, our waiting time in the ER is extending to six hours some nights (that's what happens when you're always three to five nurses short) and people are calling 911 from our triage phone asking for ambulance to take them to another hospital. Oh well...

I wish I had ativan in a mist spray (like mace?)

Specializes in LTC/Peds/ICU/PACU/CDI.

a little cheese with your "whine"... :mad:

a lack of planning on your part doesn't constitute an emergency on mine...:rolleyes:

do it your damn self...:p

do i look like a door-mat to you??? :(

i don't remember maid service in my job description...doctor...clean-up your own damn mess!!! :(

gee, i must have stupid idiot stamped across my forehead if you think i'm going to do ______...:o

you must be crazy out your f...ing mind!!! :devil:

you want me to kiss your what....??? :eek:

...oh hell no

i think you should kiss my a**instead... :chuckle

no...you can't borrow my _________; go buy your own ______...besides ______'s too hard to come by these days.

do i look like a freaking bank atm to you???

how's that for things i'd like to say at work....heeee....lol - moe :roll

Originally posted by kmchugh

Yes, you are the physician, and I am "only a nurse."

Yes, you write the orders, and I make sure the orders are followed.

Nevertheless, you would do well to remember that I am 6'4", 250 lbs, and spent 14 years in the US Army, and that was before I was a nurse. I spent that time learning and doing things that were intentionally designed to inflict pain and physical damage. Yell, throw another temper tantrum, or belittle another of my colleagues, and I might just have a flashback.

Kevin McHugh

I like your attitude.

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