New element: Administratium

  1. The heaviest element known to science was recently discovered.

    The element, tentatively named Administratium, has no protons or electrons
    and thus has an atomic number of zero. However, it does have 1 neutron,
    assistant neutrons, 75 vice neutrons, and 111 assistant neutrons, giving
    an atomic mass of 312. These 312 particles are held together in the
    by a force that involves the continuous exchange of meson-like particles
    called morons.

    Since it has no electrons, Administratium is inert. However, it can be
    detected chemically as it impedes every reaction with which it comes in
    contact. According to the discoverers, a tiny amount of Administratium
    caused one reaction to take over 4 days to complete when it would normally
    occur in less than 1 second.

    Administratium has a normal half-life of approximately 3 years. At this
    it doesn't actually decay but instead undergoes reorganization in which
    assistant neutrons, vice neutrons, and assistant vice neutrons exchange
    places. Some studies have shown that the atomic mass actually increases
    after each reorganization.

    researchers in other laboratories indicated that Administratium occurs
    naturally in the atmosphere. It tends to concentrate at certain points
    as universities, government agencies, large corporations, and school
    systems [and hospitals! ]. The element is usually found only in the
    newest, best-appointed and
    best-maintained buildings.

    Scientists point out that Administratium is known to be toxic at any level
    of concentration and can destroy any productive reactions where it is
    allowed to accumulate. Attempts are being made to determine how
    Administratium can be controlled to prevent irreversible damage, but
    are not promising.
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    About Brian, ADN

    Joined: Mar '98; Posts: 15,418; Likes: 16,382 founder; from US
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  3. by   hoolahan
  4. by   bassbird
    I sent this to my Grampa and he was wondering who wrote this. He loved it and was hoping there was more by the same author.

  5. by   lpn4u2000
    This is just too funny. Think I will copy it and put it up at work when noone is looking........................................... ........
  6. by   oramar
    Now this is my kind of joke.

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