Kids in Church....

  1. I thought you might enjoy some Sunday funnies. These were sent to me by a colleague.

    ~~~A little boy was overheard praying, "Lord, if you can't make me a better boy, don't worry about it. I'm having a real good time like I am."

    ~~~3 year old Reese, ""Our Father, who does art in Heaven, Harold is His name...Amen."

    ~~~A Sunday school class was studying the Ten Commandments. They were ready to discuss the last one. The teacher asked if anyone could tell her what it was. Susie raised her hand, stood tall, and quoted, "Thou shalt not take the covers off your neighbors wife."

    ~~~After the Christening of his baby brother in church, Jason sobbed all the way home in the back seat of the car. His father asked him three times what was wrong. Finally, the boy replied, "That preacher said he wanted us to be brought up in a Christian home, and I wanted to stay with you guys."

    ~~~I had been teaching my three year old daughter, Caitlin, the Lord's prayer for several evenings at bedtime, she would repeat after me the lines from the prayer. Finally, she decided to go solo. I listened with pride as she carefully enunciated each word right up to the end of the prayer, "lead us not into temptation," she prayed, "but deliver us some email." :uhoh21:

    ~~~One particular four year old prayed, "...and forgive us our trash baskets as we forgive those who put trash in our baskets..."

    ~~~A Sunday school teacher asked her children, as they were on their way to church service, "And why is it necessary to be quiet in church?" One bright little girl replied, "Because people are sleeping."

    ~~~Six year old Angie and her four year old brother Joel were sitting together in church. Joel giggled, sang, and talked out loud. Finally, his big sister had had enough. "You're not supposed to talk out loud in church." "Why? Who's going to stop me?" Joel asked. Angie pointed to the back at the church and said, "See those two men standing by the door? They're 'hushers'."

    ~~~A mother was preparing pancakes for her sons, Kevin, 5 and Ryan, 3. The boys began to argue over who would get the first pancake. Their mother saw the opportunity for a moral lesson. "If Jesus were sitting here, He would say, 'Let my brother have the first pancake, I can wait.'" Kevin turned to his younger brother and said, "Ryan, you be Jesus!"

    ~~~A father was at the beach with his children when the four year old son ran up to him, grabbed his hand, and led him to the shore where a seagull lay dead in the sand. "Daddy, what happened to him?" the son asked. "He died and went to Heaven," the dad replied. The boy thought a moment and then said, "Did God throw him back down?"

    ~~~A wife invited some people over to dinner. At the table, she turned to their six year old daughter and said, "Would you like to say the blessing?" "I wouldn't know what to say," the girl replied. "Just say what you hear mommy say," the wife answered. The daughter bowed her head and said, "Lord, why on earth did I invite all these people over to dinner?"

    ~~~A Sunday school teacher asked her class, "What was Jesus' mother's name?" One child answered, "Mary." The teacher then asked, "Who knows what Jesus' father's name was?" A little kid said, "Verge." Confused, the teacher asked, "Where did you get that from?" The kid said, "Well, you know how they are always talking about 'Verge and Mary'."

    Last edit by Alexander on Feb 23, '04
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    Joined: Apr '03; Posts: 160; Likes: 11


  3. by   JBudd
    Some years ago in church, a deacon was giving a children's sermon, and opened with "What do you have to do to go to heaven?"

    One youngster's hand shot up immediately, and he loudly exclaimed, "first you die!"

    (true story!)
  4. by   jemommyRN

    You have me cracking up.
  5. by   jnette
    These are ADORABLE !!! :chuckle

    Thanx for sharing !
  6. by   nursedawn67
    These were soooo cute!!! Thanks for the good chuckle!

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