Jokes for women

[Audreyfay]

There's jokes for women and jokes for men. They tend to make fun of one or the other. I just thought these were humerous. Sorry guys! :chair:

Marriage (Part I)

Typical macho man married typical good-looking lady and after the

wedding,

he laid down the following rules: "I'll be home when I want, if I want

and

at what time I want-and I don't expect any hassle from you. I expect a

great dinner to be on the table unless I tell you that I won't be home

for

dinner. I'll go hunting, fishing, boozing and card-playing when I want

with

my old buddies and don't you give me a hard time about it. Those are my

rules. Any comments?"

His new bride said, "No, that's fine with me. Just understand that

there

will be sex here at seven o'clock every night . . . whether you're here

or

not."

Marriage (Part II)

Husband and wife had a bitter quarrel on the day of their 40th wedding

anniversary. The husband yells, "When you die, I'm getting you a

headstone

that reads, 'Here Lies My Wife - Cold As Ever.'" "Yeah?" she replies.

"When

you die, I'm getting you a headstone that reads, "Here Lies My Husband

-

Stiff At Last.'"

Marriage (Part III)

A husband (doctor) and his wife are having a fight at the breakfast

table.

Husband gets up in a rage and says, "And you are no good in bed

either,"

and storms out of the house. After sometime he realizes he was nasty

and

decides to make amends and rings her up. She comes to the phone after

many

rings and the irritated husband says, "What took you so long to answer

the

phone?" She says, "I was in bed." "In bed this early, doing what?"

"Getting

a second opinion!"

Marriage (Part IV)

A man has six children and is very proud of his achievement. He is so

proud

of himself, that he starts calling his wife, "Mother of Six " in spite

of

her objections. One night, they go to a party. The man decides that

it's

time to go home and wants to find out if his wife is ready to leave as

well. He shouts at the top of his voice, "Shall we go home Mother of

six?'"

His wife, irritated by her husband's lack of discretion shouts right

back,

"Anytime you're ready, Father of Four."

"God may have created man before woman but there is always a rough

draft

before the masterpiece."

[gwenith, BSN, RN]

:chuckle

[mighty mouse52]

add this one My sister in law wanted more than one child her husband didn't, they fought over it for three years. Finnally one night she announced to her startled husband "Guess what I'm going to have a baby and I'm giving you first crack at being the father!"

[Noney]

:roll :roll :roll

[CashewLPN, LPN]

my oh my! hehe

[Shed13911]

Those were great, hope I can remember them next time I need a joke to tell!!