Joke Poker - Bottled Blondes

Nurses Humor

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I have been toying with the idea of starting a "Joke Poker" thread.

What is Joke Poker? Simply stated one person starts the thread with a joke on a particular subject and anyone can add a joke or two or three on that subject. The winner is whoever posts the last original joke.

You might decide to add four jokes at once betting that there are no more jokes or just post them one at a time but beware! someone else might steal your thunder and post YOUR joke before you do.

Rules:- keep it PC (politically correct) and within the TOS

No racial jokes - blonde jokes become bottled blonde jokes because ANYONE can become a bottled blonde.

Redneck jokes stay redneck jokes because again anyone can be a redneck

General religious jokes only - ones that do not target any group

keep it reasonably clean

That's all folks except - here is the first "Bottled Blonde" Joke

Upper class blonde

A plane is on its way to London when a blonde in Economy Class gets up and moves to the First Class section and sits down.

The flight attendant watches her do this and asks to see her ticket. She then tells the blonde that she has paid for Economy and that she will have to sit in the back.

The blonde replies "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to London and I'm staying right here."

The flight attendant goes into the cockpit and tells the pilot and co-pilot that there is some blonde bimbo sitting in First Class that belongs in Economy and won't move back to her seat.

The co-pilot goes back to the blonde and tries to explain that because she only paid for Economy Class she would have to leave and return to her seat.

The blonde replies, "I'm blonde, I'm beautiful, I'm going to London and I'm staying right here."

The co-pilot tells the pilot that he should probably have the police waiting when they land to arrest this blonde woman that won't listen to reason.

The pilot says, "I'll handle this. I'm married to a blonde. I've even

learned to speak 'blonde'."

He goes back to the blonde, whispers in her ear, and without question she gets up and moves back to her seat in the Economy Section.

The flight attendant and the co-pilot are amazed and asked him what he said to make her move without any fuss.

"I told her First Class wasn't going to London".

Q: Why does a blonde nurse carry around a red pen?

A: To draw blood.

thankyou thankyou thankyou ....needed a laugh!

Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.

A brunette, a smart blonde, and santa claus are walking down the street, and they find a hundred dollar bill lying on the ground.

Who got the money?

The brunette... because there is no such thing as santa claus or a smart blonde.

A blonde and a brunette are sky diving and have jumped out of a plane?

Who will land first?

The brunette... the blonde had to stop and ask for directions.

How are a blonde and a beer bottle alike?

They're both empty from the neck up.

What do you call ten blondes stacked on top of each other?

An air mattress.

Do they have to be bottle blonde jokes?

oh well, this is just a little hospital humor.

An older gentleman was in the hospital.

On first shift, the nurse aid came in to wash his hands and face before serving him breakfast.

The man asks "are my testicles black?"

The poor aid didn't know what to say, it was her first day on the job.

She told him that she was just here to get him cleaned up for his meal, that she didn't really know about that.

A little later she brought brought his tray to him.

He asked again, "are my testicles black?"

The aid told him that she would go get his nurse.

The nurse walked up to the bed and whipped his sheet back.

She said "sir your testicles are not black"

The man finally took his O2 mask off and said " are my test results back yet?"

Hi Guys,

How about this one

Bottle Blonde: "Honey, there's that one-eyed cat coming in the door again."

Husband of

Bottle Blonde: "Sweetie, that cat isn't coming in, he's going out.":D

Jim C:)

Originally posted by SRNJIM

Hi Guys,

How about this one

Bottle Blonde: "Honey, there's that one-eyed cat coming in the door again."

Husband of

Bottle Blonde: "Sweetie, that cat isn't coming in, he's going out.":D

Jim C:)

OH MY GAWD!!!! :D :rotfl:

~Kacy

Originally posted by Rapheal

As a blonde I am going toss one right back to you guys.

What do you call a brunette in a room full of blondes? INVISIBLE!

lol lol lol

WOOOT!! Amen! Thank you for the brunette joke! ;) I, too, am a *natural* blonde! :D

And I beg to differ on the subject of there's no such thing as a smart blonde...I'm proof that there *are* such!!! :D ;)

Thanks for the laughs guys!!!!! :D

~Kacy

Q. Why does it take longer to build a blonde snowman?

A. Cause you have to hollow out his head!

(One for those blonde men out there.)

A blonde walked into a doctor's office with two burnt ears. The doctor asked her, "What happened to your ear?" The blonde replied, "I was ironing and the phone rang, so instead of picking up the phone, I picked up the iron and put it to my ear.

Still not satisfied, the doctor asked, "Well, what happened to the other ear?"

"The sucker called again!"

Once there was a blonde who was going to take flying lessons, so she went to the airport to rent a plane. The manager told her there were no planes left so she would have to use a helicopter. So the blonde got in the helicopter and took off. Every 10 miles she checked in with the manager; after the first 10 miles, she said it was a blast. When she reached 20 she told him that she had never seen so many buttons. But when she reached 30 miles she didn't check in so the manager went to rescue her. When he found her he asked her how she crashed. The blonde replied, "It was getting cold so I turned off the big fan."

:D Sorry, got carried away and could

not stop!!

Definition of ETERNITY:

Four bottled-blondes at a four-way stop!

:chuckle

A blond tells her husband one day, "I'm bored! I need a new hobby." So the husband takes her to the store and buys her a puzzle. Six months later, after working on it in all her free time, she runs to her husband, "Honey! I finally finished my puzzle! I must be really smart, huh?" The husband says, "Well, it DID take you 6 months!" The blonde replies, "Yeah, but the box said 3 to 6 YEARS!"

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