It's hard to live with a nurse because...

Nurses Humor

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1) When you forget to flush the toilet, you get a complete analysis with a plan on how to correct any noted problems.

2) Thanksgiving dinner comes in pre-cut small pieces because she doesn't want to have to perform the Heimlich maneuver and be reminded of work on the only holiday she's had off in years.

3) You've been awakened from a dead sleep in the middle of the night to find her shaking you because your breathing patterns were a little too close to a Cheyne-Stokes rhythm.

A friend of my 15 yr old injured herself at school. My child assisted her to the office and promptly called me for advice. When she got off the phone she instructed the office staff how to care for the injured friend. Noone would listen to her and the friend was quite uncomfortable. She finally yelled " none of your people know what you are doing, if you are not going to listen to me, you had better get her to a Dr. damn fast" and off she stomped............would make a mother [RN] proud:)

I RECEIVED AN "EMERGENCY" CALL AT WORK ONE EVENING--MY DAUGHTER CALLED LONG DISTANCE FROM COLLEGE, AND EVEN PAID FOR THE CALL HERSELF (MOST UNUSUAL). WELL, HER ROOM-MATE WAS SICK, AND ACCORDING TO MY DAUGHTER, HER TEMP WAS 103, SHE WAS DEHYDRATED, AND A BUG WAS GOING AROUND AT HER DORM. STUDENT HEALTH HAD BEEN CALLED, AND DUE TO THE BUG GOING AROUND, THEY WERE OVERLOADED WITH PATIENTS ALREADY. THE ROOMMATE WAS TOLD TO TAKE TYLENOL AND IBUPROFEN (ALTERNATING), AND TO DRINK FLUIDS, ETC. AND TO CALL IN THE MORNING. MY DAUGHTER HAD GONE TO THE STORE AND BOUGHT OJ AND GATERADE FOR HER--THE SICK ROOMMATE--ALREADY. THEN SHE INSTRUCTED THE ENTIRE HALL (HALF THE GIRLS HAD THE BUG, AND THE OTHER HALF WERE JUST WATCHING, AND GETTING INFO FOR WHEN THEY WOULD GET THE BUG, BUT THERE WAS A CROWD IN THE ROOM) "DON'T DO ANYTHING UNTIL I CALL MY MOM!! SHE WILL KNOW WHAT TO DO, AND SHE WILL KNOW IF STUDENT HEALTH IS RIGHT----SHE'S AN RNC NURSE---IN MED-SURG NO LESS!!!" I DOUBT IF THE OTHER GIRLS KNEW WHAT SHE WAS TALKING ABOUT, BUT NOBODY MOVED UNTIL THE PHONE CALL WAS COMPLETE.

MAKES A MOTHER SO PROUD!!! MY CHILD THINKS I ACTUALLY KNOW SOMETHING!!

I LATER FOUND OUT THE REASON FOR THE DISTRUST OF STUDENT HEALTH---EVERY FEMALE THAT CAME IN WITH ANY SYMPTOM FROM A COUGH TO A RASH TO A HURT FOOT WAS GRILLED ABOUT PROBABLY BEING PREGNANT.

A WEEK LATER, WHEN MY KID FINALLY CAUGHT WHATEVER WAS GOING AROUND, ALMOST THE ENTIRE HALL CAME TO TAKE CARE OF HER--SHE WAS THEIR FAVORITE NURSE BY NOW.

I know what everyone is talking about here when it comes to no sympathy to family.

My hubby is an IDDM.....as well as hypothyroidism, high blood pressure and high cholesterol.

He eats more sugar and fat than anyone I know...his excuse....I'm on medication ...... my body.....my life!

However if I drink more than 2 bourbons he goes off!!

Oh and he is a bit of a hypochondriac....you know the type... if he has more than 2 BM in 1 day he has diarrhoea.....if none he is constipated.....that kind of thing.

So consequently I tend to ignore his complaints of I feel nauseous,etc etc.

Backfired on me once though when he ended up in ER with ketoacidosis!!

But even then he was the worst patient....complained the docs didn't know what they were doing,wouldn'd adhere to sliding scale insulin and kept giving himself extra shots of insulin to bring his sugars down so he could get home quicker!

ahhh men :)

Specializes in Case Management, Life Care Planning.

This absolutely kills me. We are so much alike.

My daughter got into an argument with one of her friends at school. She proudly informed them that her daddy was a nurse to which they responded "he must be a doctor and isn't telling you". Thank you, no. I am a nurse and proud of it. My kids know the rules around here. No blood, no bones, no LOC, no problem. They also make me shut up while watching Trauma or ER, "Dad, it's just a TV show".

The testicular exam story was tooooo funny. LMAO.:D

You know you're a nurse when...

- using a public restroom, you wash your hands for a full minute and turn off the faucets with your elbows...

- you can almost SEE the germs on doorknobs and telephones...

- you can watch the goriest movie and eat almost anything

afterwards...

- your favorite dream is the one where you leave a mess at the bedside and tell the Dr. to clean it up!

- everyone including complete strangers tells you about each and everyache and pain they have...

;)

Being an L&D nurse, I am absolutely no help to any of my family when they are sick. They will call with aches or pains and I'll ask "Are you pregnant? Because if your not, I can't fix it?" They soon quit calling! As for the kids...well, no blood spurting, no bones sticking out, no flames at least four feet high? Don't wake me up!

Also, being a night nurse with a small child at home, and two others at school, I have to thank someone for Barney and Nickelodeon. For they raised a wonderful child! I would sleep on the couch and she would play and watch Barney and Face. When it was time for Gullah-Gullah Island, that meant it was time to wake up Mommy to get lunch! Don't know how we could have survived without them!

Once I worked in a small hospital as the Nurse Manager of L&D and was also staff. I worked M-F 7a-7p and was on call all of the rest of the time. Needless to say, I rarely saw home. One particulary bad week, my husband called to say our middle child, then 7, had been falling asleep at school and complaining of "not feeling good". After the BM conversation, I told him to take her temp, no temp...ok, well make sure she eats and goes to bed early, I'll see you when I get home tomorrow. I hadn't been home for two days at that point. When I did get home the next night, it was already dark in the house and the lighting wasn't bright and we had dark paneling, but I could see my child was severely dehydrated....her eyes were even flat! So.......off to the ER we went....OMG! :eek: We walked in the door under those bright flourescent lights.....the kid was orange as a pumpkin! She had a severe case of Hepatitis A! Poor thing was hospitalized for a week! Wouldn't let anyone do her draws or IV's but Mommy and she never cried once! :D I felt so bad about putting her off for so long I quit the job! :( But, as useless as I am sometimes, my kids tell me everything...sometimes more than I want to know. And their friends have told me before their own parents that they are pregnant! :eek:

But through it all we have survived and I wouldn't trade careers for anything!

Don't just love when your family treats you like you don't know your a** from a hole in the ground? My 10 year old was sick the other morning. He had vomited for about 2 hours and then went back to sleep. My husband tended to him since I had worked late the night before. After my son woke up, he kept on c/o of a belly ache. He just wasn't acting right though. I finally told my husband I was taking him to the ER. My hubby said fine (I'm the nurse here) and that I wouldn't feel better till the doc told me it was just the flu. Well, we got to ER and the kid's temp went up and his WBC was 13,000. I called my husband and told him he better get his butt to the hospital because our son was going in for an appendectomy. I just wanted to say so bad "I told you so." My son did fine, but now my hubby has a bad case of N/V/D and coughing. He is dehydrated, but refuses to let me take him in for some IV fluids. This has been going on for over 30 hours now!! Oh well, I guess when he finally depletes his K+ level and he is so weak he can't move, he will let me take him in!!

:rolleyes: :rolleyes:

my husband has picked up heaps from me since we have been together, he now educates his co-workers on the importance of geting chest pain (tightness) checked out and usually informs them the type of medication they will probably be prescibed along with the side effect and what questions to ask their Dr.

Sometimes he's just a regular know-it-all:p

When i was a student he used to tell our friends I HAD to watch ER and the likes it was homework and I could get extra credits for it (i'm sure some believed him), he watches these programs with me and sometimes suprises me by picking up errors and asking appropriate questions

he was pleased when he scarred his hand (and best vein) so now I can't talk about doing IV's there:(

great thread brian.

i have woke up my husband because his snoring is not right!!! also have marvelled over his veins and said "gee i wouldn't have trouble getting an iv started with you!"

life is never what you plan. this year finds my husband in lpn school. now we will both be nurses.

yiikes, no excuses then. any bad habits, we know better!!!!??? :/

not any sympathy for ailments, etc!!!:/

how was your day at work will bring on a whole new meaning!!!

we have now seriously discussed our advance directive preferences!!!! (he used to never want to discuss such things, now he is out there and seeing.....)

now, my work stories don't "gross" him out. we no longer hear "not while i am eating".

chuckling,

micro:p :p :p

Specializes in Cardiolgy.

I am only just training to be a nurse but according to my friends I all ready talk in code, and I just got thrown out of their house for screaming at the TV when a "Nurse" put tippex on a patients chart!!!:p as far as I, and tutors are concerned that is a cardinal sin, can you imagine what I would be like if I was allowed to watch "medical" programes such as ER or Casualty???:D

Originally posted by NurseNikki2001

I KNOW ANOTHER THING US NURSES HAVE IN COMMON

IT MAKES US FEEL REAL GOOD WHEN YOUR SPOUSE OR YOUR CHILDREN SAY " THATS MY WIFE/MOM THE NURSE " smile.gif

yes, it is very nice. On the good side, it is also nice when your relatives call you about a new med or procedure that their doctors want for them. they want our aproval first. I was asking my husband for months about a medication his doctor put him on. i did not see a reazon for it, i was not 100% sure b/c i am a new grad and have litle confidence in my judgement, but i kind of know my stuff. finally my husband asked the doctor during his next visit, months after and yes, i was right! he took him of that med. i also nagged my 21 year old daugther about asking the doctor about refering her to a gastroenterologyst after many other wasted meds and referals. she finally listen to me and this new doctor found her to have irritable bowel disease, guiding her with the diet i had been sugesting for months. she is a lot better. whe i have the time to watch ER or the learnig channel i also tell my husband what they are doing, what is going on, and so on. He also says that i am spoilling it:o . i find my self getting out of bed and looking at the books when i want to criticize them to make sure i am right. most of the times i am:eek: monica

I am marrying into a family with a CV ICU nurse (my fiance), an ED nurse (Mother-in-law) and an EMT (Brother-in-law). My future father-in-law (a pastor, but that's a whole 'nother point(!) and I find dinner time particularly fascinating......I didn't think I had a steel stomach, but I guess I was wrong.

When I first started dating my fiance, I would catch him not holding my hand - but - taking my pulse.....

Funny....now I want to be a nurse.....:) :)

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