Has a pt given you a chuckle lately? - page 3

Just wondering what comments patients have said to you recently that made you laugh. You know that saying about kids say the darndest things? Sometimes it's not just the kids. I had an elderly... Read More

  1. by   Flynurse
    Just a couple of days ago I was taking care of a woman who was lethargic, but kept pulling at her NGT that was just placed. Her wrists had been restrained that day and her husband had come to visit her that evening. I walked into the room to check on her, and plain as day the husband said to me, "I understand she has her wrists tied because of the tube in her nose. She keeps trying to reach for it. But let me ask you a question?"
    "Sure," I cheerfully said.
    He looked at me with an absolutly serious look on his face and said, "Does she still have ammonia?"
    I had to pause for a moment. And I must have made a strange look on my face, because then he said, "Has she gotten worse?"
    I answered, "You mean does she still have pneumonia?"
    "No, No," he exclaimed, "The doctors said she has AMMONIA in her lungs. Is she okay now?"
    It took all I had to keep from laughing....I told him that she was still on antibiotics for whatever it is she has in her lungs and that the doctor will continue them untill the infection clears.

    I had to walk out of the room promptly so as not to laugh in front of him. (Mind you, it was about 5pm and I get a little slap happy about then.)
    Last edit by Flynurse on Mar 20, '03
  2. by   Sleepyeyes
    Admitting a young guy for pain, I asked the standard pain question: "Can you tell me what makes it worse?"

    Guy thinks for a couple seconds and replies, "Well, it hurts when I move. And," he added, still completely serious, "it hurts when I breathe."

    I nearly smiled but stifled it, then he realized what he said and grinned.

    I turned and said solemnly, "This is the part where I normally would tell you to stop doing whatever it is that makes you hurt, but in this instance, I won't. OK?"

    And I tried not to giggle, really I did. But he must've seen me.

    We both lost it at the same time--he's clutching his side, telling me, "Oh, stop, it hurts to laugh, too, " and I'm leaning over the bedside table howling til I cried, trying to tell him to stop first 'cause he started it.

    Never had more fun doing an admit.
    Last edit by Sleepyeyes on Apr 18, '03
  3. by   ANnot4me
    An elderly blind and somewhat confused male patient kept removing his gown, condom cath and TEDs. Of course, I kept coming in the room and replacing them all. Finally he said, "I don't understand why you people keep coming into my room, monkeying with my peter and dressing me up in womens clothes."
  4. by   KristenRN
    I was working in a NH on evening shift and placing a Texas catheter on a thoroughly confused elderly male patient. After several minutes of fussing, I finally got it on. The patient then looked at me with this weird look on his face and said, "Does your mother know what you do for a living?" :roll:
  5. by   gwenith
    I swear by all that is holy the following story is TRUE! This happened many years ago when I was a fresh faced student nurse in a hospital. I decided I would volunteer to be one of the christmas carolers going around the wards bringing a little christmas cheer. We were singing "The First Noel" when I spotted an old grumpy looking man lying in bed. Naively thinking I would cheer him up I approached singing - I had just reached the chorus "Noel, Noel" when he looked me straight in the eye and said "NO 'ELL! No 'ELL - It's bloody 'ell in'ere I can tell you!" I cracked! No-one else had heard and wondered why I was doubled over laughing!
  6. by   kelrn
    I was taking care of a confused pt and was helping him up to the bathroom and he had diarrhea and it was going everywhere, he looks down and says that he needs to change the oil in his truck because it is leaking everywhere, I thought I was going to dye laughing.
  7. by   tattooednursie
    The other night I answered a patients call bell. I had to go in there and tell her that I was a little busy at the moment, because it was right after dinner. She said, "Okay, I get it, fine, go take care of the shittybitty's!" i thought that was funny.
  8. by   mert
    I was charge nurse on a night shift one summer night.
    We were going through scabies precautions. (ick)
    Every one had to have on long sleeve gowns, gloves, etc. This particular facility was right on a corner and was a main street. That night, didn't a BAT decide to have his own little party. The girls and are not BAT fans and we were all more that a little freaked. Trying our best not to waken the residents, we tried to get the little critter out. Along with our long gowns and gloves, we had our heads covered, and were running down the corriders waving BROOMS. Never dawned on us that people could see in the windows at night. :imbar I mentioned to our adnin. the next AM that BAT chasing is not in our job description!! He had a good chuckle.
  9. by   ShandyLynnRN
    I was a newe nurse working evenings in a NH. I was giving a rather large female patient a shower. She was chair bound, couldn't stand or walk, but I didn't have any trouble assisting her from her wc to the shower chair. Once I was finished, she was screaming how cold she was and I got her as dry as I could and started to transfer her back to her wc so I could dress her partially before calling for help. I obviously didn't have her dried as thoroughly as I thought and ended up losing my grip and somehow, through the lifting techniques, and assisting in a fall situation (you know, get behind them and assist to the ground) ended up completely underneath her.

    There I was yelling for help with this confused resident lying on top of me naked and wet. Finally the aide comes in (very petite girl) and try as we may, we couldn't get her off of me. The aide went to get the lift and it was broken. We had to call the local fire department to come and help. It took them less than 10 minutes to get there, but sheesh was that embarassing!!!
  10. by   NurseGirlKaren
    Ok Shandy, THAT'S hilarious!!!
  11. by   Used and abused
    I remember once when the lap choles were brand new, an LPN was very nervous since she had to take care of the man afterwards.
    He was brought to the room and she assessed him, got vitals etc.
    I came down the hall, she was sitting there with this weird look on her face, saying"What do they put on there for dressings? " I replied, "They use gauze and put a clear dressing over it.
    She said, "Don't they use cotton balls?"
    She got red in the face and said,"OH WHAT I TOLD THAT MAN!
    He was asking me what did they do to me? (asking if it was an open chole or lap chole) . I looked under the covers and told him not to worry; there was nothing down there but two little balls now. I was wondering why he looked so panicky!"
    We laughed for YEARS about that one.
  12. by   Used and abused
    I worked in OB and gave a dad-to-be a gown to cover himself with. He gave me a strange look but I explained about keeping everything as clean as possible. He came in and it was a beautiful birth; untroubled and natural. He was beaming holding his new son. When I walked around him, I realized he had taken off all his clothes and his bare behind was showing from the back!
    He said he thought it was what I wanted!
  13. by   Liddle Noodnik
    those are PRECIOUS! ha ha ha ha!

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