Funny things you have said but wish you didn't

nurse96 · Mar 27, 2005

One day a man who had had a TURP called me into his room. He was concerned regarding the size of his testicles. I stated, "Don't worry, I've seen bigger", it was only after I left the room did I think about what I had said. Luckily I don't think the pt thought about it!

kwagner_51 · Mar 27, 2005

I am a student in my last rotation Psychsocial Nursing. It was our first clinical and we had toured the unit. We were back in the conference room discussing the patients. The instructor was explaining how to read the patient admission list and said,"this on is here on a criminal charge." We were all kinda scared and she then said, "remember the really short patient in the hallway?" We nodded and she said, "well that is the one in for assault."

I said, "What did the patient do? Punch someone in the knee!?!" :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

We all rolled!! I don't usually say things like that, but we were all under pressure and it just slipped out!!

After clinical, we were still laughing one of the SN's said she was going to wear knee pads to the hospital the next day to protect her knees. I told her she would need to wear them backwards so she could protect the backs of her knees!!! :rotfl: :rotfl: :rotfl:

I still can NOT believe I said that!!

_________________________________________

In His Grace,

Karen

Failure is NOT an option!!

Trixiebell · May 20, 2005

i used to work as a photographer and had spent a whole day photographing babies that kept spitting up on me and handeling parents who would just hand me a child and walk off while i tried to convince an 8 week old baby to smile for me. :banghead: i was meeting friends for dinner and was really late...

i walked in, sat down and someone asked me how work was, to which i replied 'ahhh nothing but babies, if i see another baby i will just scream, i can't stand a whole day with babies' and my friend then told me that she had asked me to come to dinner to tell me she was pregnant... :eek:

i just kept waiting for that hole to open up in the floor and let me escape... :stone

marimar12 · May 20, 2005

My ex-husband and I were collecting Toy Story characters that were in the Burger King kids meals (years ago). The only character that was missing was the little cowboy. He and I decided to meet for lunch one day and wound up going to, where else, Burger King. He started placing our order "Can I get a Whopper Meal, she wants a fish sandwich meal." We wait for our food and when it arrives he asks the food server "Hey Guy, you got a Woody?" :rotfl:

merry nurse · May 20, 2005

I once had a colonoscopy by a DR. Auger..... My girlfriend breaks up with her boyfriend. Next day I go on and on about how she really is lucky to be rid of him, that he is homely, etc. He was standing in the corner of the room listening. They had made up..... I was preaching to some c.n.a.s about how we were derived from a one cell organism, and said (orgasm). oops.

mtymom · May 20, 2005

Fran, I often answer my phone, "house of beauty, this is cutie!" I usually get loud laughs. :chuckle

My name is Jennifer, sometimes I answer my phone "Jen's mule barn, head mule speaking. I get a lot of laughs from that one. :rotfl:

student4ever · May 20, 2005

to this day i can't say outback steakhouse properly on the first try. it always comes out 'outhouse steakback'. my friends have taken to asking me to "meet them in the outhouse for a quickie...dinner that is." :smackingf

when we're at work, the girls and i frequently reverse the beginnings of words so we can "safely" use swear words (ie it's a mell of a hess in here!) - folks don't try this at home!! :uhoh3:

one day i was wearing a lace bra, which i knew i shouldn't have worn because it would itch!!! i was trying to say, i can't wait to get out of this itchy "bucking fra," but since i was used to saying "bucking fra" and was thinking i needed to "spoonerize it," i ended up saying loudly enough for the whole ed, waiting room included that "i can't wait to get out of this itchy ****ing bra!!!!" i'm still surprised that the waiting room full of conservative little old folks (we have a lot of mennonites in our area) didn't suddenly all develop chest pain and diaphoresis! :rotfl: :rotfl:

i usually only open my mouth to switch feet!

xxx

TDub, MSN, EdD · May 20, 2005

When I was about 10, my mother told me I looked like the wrath of God. (Hair uncombed, sleep wrinkles on face, etc.) I looked all confused and asked, "Who's Aratha Gopp?"

Forever after, it's been 'Aratha Gopp' in my family if you look like hell.

FranEMTnurse, CNA, LPN, EMT-I · May 21, 2005

My name is Jennifer, sometimes I answer my phone "Jen's mule barn, head mule speaking. I get a lot of laughs from that one. :rotfl:

When I'm in my silly mood, I sometimes answer the phone with, "Fearless Fanny's House of Pleasure. How may I help you today?" After I say that, there's usually silence on the other end.

prmenrs, RN · May 21, 2005

My dad used to answer the phone: "Curly's Bar and Grill, Curly's not here." He got laughs even if it was the Admiral calling.

lionkore · May 31, 2005

my sister, "Kristy," (not her real name), is a unit clerk on the med-surg floor of the hospital where I work. she's used to answering the phone with excellent customer service: "med-surg, this is Kristy, can I help you?"

well one frazzled day, lots of admits, transfers, lost paperwork, missing dietary trays, she picks up the phone to answer an outside caller (a pt's family member), and shows her true feelings: "med-surg, this is Kristy, can you help me?"

leopold · May 31, 2005

one time when I was working as a cna I was going over the bath sheets with the nurse and she said did this patient get a bath? And I said...Whoa! Hold on a second -- someone next door to me just had a very loud orgasm... :roll anyway, I said, yes I gave X a bath. She looked at me funny and said what? And I said I gave X a bath. Then I realized that X was the name of one of my fellow cnas. After that whenever he was around she would just look at me and smirk. :rolleyes: