Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart? - page 6

To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply Darwin Consult and was signed by the... Read More

  1. by   saddlupasb
    Originally posted by mattcastens

    You laugh, but that's becoming more common (again). Our surgeons screen patients for possible DTs after their open-heart surgery. If they're found to be at risk, they have a standing order for "Beer: 1 can PO, BID." Thank god they specified "PO".

    They figure that it's easier (and better for the patient) to stem the DTs before they start. We're not going to dry them up anyway, and their bodies can put the energy into healing instead of withdrawl.

    Have you ever tried to get a beer down an NG??
  2. by   sehbear
    Definitely n.g. administration of beer... our largnectomy patients have it all the time....
  3. by   BJNurse
    Back in my days on a med/surg floor I walked past my patient door and found him on fire!! He was trying to burn himself out of his posey vest with a lighter he had at the bedside (don't ask me how it got there). After putting the fire out and fighting with the patient for the lighter I called the med resident to assess the burns the patient had recieved. Mind you, during the struggle, the patient had bit me so hard that he broke the skin! The resident wrote for silvadene cream to burns qid (makes sense) and remove lighter from patient bedside( here I was thinking of giving it back to see if he could torch the drapes too). I could have throttles the resident.
  4. by   MissdonditaBsn
    Recently one of our new residents, who has has an obvious problem with the english language wrote the following order on a post-op patient

    eyes and oohh's q 8 hours

    I will leave you all to ponder that one for a while
  5. by   Nurse Izzy
    Originally posted by lpnandloveit1
    Oh wow I am old. re: three H enema gave a lot of them (for impactions) coffee emema yep given them too. 1--2-3 (glycerine,epsom salt water) and my all time favorite-----Milk and molasass.(yummy)
    What would a coffee enema be given for??
  6. by   rdhdnrs
    From a med student in a progress note..."Pt in usual state of funk. Plan: defunk pt."
  7. by   caroladybelle
    Very warm coffee enemas are an "alternative treatment" for cancer. I have had several patients that insisted on using them.
  8. by   MishlB
    Originally posted by canna42
    This wasn't an order a Dr wrote but was a diagnosis on an ER chart. Female patient came in with an ulcer on her leg...badly infected. On the er record our doc wrote for diagnosis...copious ***** drainage..ha ha ha totally left off where ...laughed until we cried. Next time he worked of course we brought it to his attention. The look on his face was priceless. Afterall you cannot alter a permanent record.

    OMG!!!:chuckle :chuckle :chuckle :chuckle
    Had to keep reading this....I am thinking..."that's not where the drainage is coming from...." tooooooooooooooo funny!!!!!!!!!!!!!!
  9. by   dv8rn
    Foley to dependant drainage. What do they think we'll do, hook it up to wall suction?!!
  10. by   NurseDianne
    How about "FAT" as a DX?

    We have a doc that writes that all the time......Fat, smoker, alcoholic...........just whatever he wants........
  11. by   Darlene K.
    We had a child come in with a bead in his ear. After we removed it; the discharge order read "don't do that again."
  12. by   sunnygirl272
    Originally posted by Darlene K.
    We had a child come in with a bead in his ear. After we removed it; the discharge order read "don't do that again."
  13. by   shudokan-RN
    :roll when I was in the navy, stationed in the Phillippines, I had a filipino doc ask me for some Bondage scissors ???