Funniest real orders you have seen in a chart?

Nurses Humor

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To start things off, the best and funniest order I have seen on a chart, was in the discharge instructions for a trauma patient. It read simply

Darwin Consult

and was signed by the resident. Well the attending did laugh, but it was not the highpoint of that residents day.

so do you have more?

About the BV 30cc q6h orders....

If doctor had taken those precautions with this one 35y/o male pt, he wouldn't have pulled out IV's, broken window and went out on roof of 2nd floor and was hanging from the ledge with sheer will-power and fingernails, after having abdominal surgery from seat-belt injury after auto accident. I say more power to the doctor.

Recently, amongst a lengthy catalogue of numbered orders (pertaining to one of our "frequent flyers"), the doctor had written: "(13) wash this patient's feet ASAP please". I have also often seen etoh ordered for patients with alcohol dependence, or sometimes as hs sedation, when I was working psychogeriatrics.

Specializes in Gen Med,LTC.

Roll head of bed up when feeding patient.

I have seen this 3 (yes 3!!!) times in my 12 years on routine admission orders for general med patients. I don't find it quite so funny anymore.Grrrrr. :D

We also use to give ETOH to alcoholics. We also gave a glass of wine to many COPD pts to stimulate appetite. Pharmacy sent us a little wine glass with a snap-on top to serve it in.

A big hospital in my town has a recognised abbrevation..

F.I.T.H. syndrome - I have seen it documented many a time...

It means f*** in the head. I am not saying i agree with it but it does clear up so many things!!!

:rolleyes:

Originally posted by mattcastens

:D

You laugh, but that's becoming more common (again). Our surgeons screen patients for possible DTs after their open-heart surgery. If they're found to be at risk, they have a standing order for "Beer: 1 can PO, BID." Thank god they specified "PO".

They figure that it's easier (and better for the patient) to stem the DTs before they start. We're not going to dry them up anyway, and their bodies can put the energy into healing instead of withdrawl.

Have you ever tried to get a beer down an NG?? :p

Definitely n.g. administration of beer... our largnectomy patients have it all the time....

Back in my days on a med/surg floor I walked past my patient door and found him on fire!! He was trying to burn himself out of his posey vest with a lighter he had at the bedside (don't ask me how it got there). After putting the fire out and fighting with the patient for the lighter I called the med resident to assess the burns the patient had recieved. Mind you, during the struggle, the patient had bit me so hard that he broke the skin! The resident wrote for silvadene cream to burns qid (makes sense) and remove lighter from patient bedside( here I was thinking of giving it back to see if he could torch the drapes too). I could have throttles the resident.

Recently one of our new residents, who has has an obvious problem with the english language wrote the following order on a post-op patient

eyes and oohh's q 8 hours

I will leave you all to ponder that one for a while

Originally posted by lpnandloveit1

Oh wow I am old. re: three H enema gave a lot of them (for impactions) coffee emema yep given them too. 1--2-3 (glycerine,epsom salt water) and my all time favorite-----Milk and molasass.(yummy)

What would a coffee enema be given for??

From a med student in a progress note..."Pt in usual state of funk. Plan: defunk pt."

Specializes in Oncology/Haemetology/HIV.

Very warm coffee enemas are an "alternative treatment" for cancer. I have had several patients that insisted on using them.

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