From the mouths of non-nurses - page 8

My wife, a piano teacher, and I were talking about music and she was using some pretty "technical" terms that I, not a music professional, didn't understand. She said, "Now you know what it's like... Read More

  1. by   alcrab01
    From a woman who claimed she "went to nursing school" (later found out that she shadowed a nurse for 2 days when she was in high school):

    "If her oxygen goes down are you going to pump her up with that Bamboo bag?"
  2. by   peridotgirl
    okay. this doesn't exactly fit the description on the heading, but here it goes. A classmate of mine (we were at clinicals and taking care of our assigned pts) asked the nurse if her pt had voided. Nurse responded "oh no she hadn't vioded at all today." Now my classmate goes and tell our instructor that her pt hadn't vioded at all today. Instructor had told her to go back and ask the charge nurse again about the pt vioding because she found it strange the the pt hadn't vioded. Now when my classmate goes and asks the nurse again, she laughs and says " of course, she urinated. She's been urinating a lot today."

    Turns out the nurse didn't know what "void" meant. We all just stood and had a good laugh... looks like somebody didn't go to nursing school.... hehehehe!... and you think you're a nurse when.... ??? :chuckle
  3. by   mybelle3221
    i really like this thread!
  4. by   systoly
    A pt. once asked me if she should see an eye Dr. since her PCP had told her she had tiki eye (petechiae). I didn't get it until I saw the affected area. Had to excuse myself real quick.
  5. by   ShelleyERgirl
    This isn't medical but was watching "American Idol" a couple years ago and it was one of the audition episodes where this young girl stated she would be the next American Idol because she had a lot of "self-confidentiality"! I laughed until I cried when I heard that, it just struck me so funny.
  6. by   VivaRN
    Chief complaint: "I have 2 extra titties."

    What the heck?

    Turns out this pleasant 61yo F... chattering on about her "goutch", (took me a few minutes to figure out she meant gout) described her bilat. elbow swelling as "Look, I have two extra titties growing right here".

    I disguised my snort of laughter as a cough.
  7. by   Natkat
    A few weeks ago I had a patient who wasn't doing well so the doctor ordere an NG tube and the patient's wife refused to have it put down. Again and again the doctors and nurses explained the reason for the NG and asked for her permission to have it inserted. Again she refused. A while later after I had started the patient's dialysis and things were quiet, I started a conversation with the wife.

    Once I felt I had her trust I asked her why she was against having the NG tube and she said "well how's he gonna breath with that feeding tube down his throat?"

    I really felt sorry for her ignorance and how this ignorance was having a huge effect on her husband's care. I explained that the number one goal we have for patients is making sure they can breath and no one will ever do anything that will keep him from breathing. Then I explained how the esophagus is different from the trachea and she immediately gave consent for the NG tube.
  8. by   akrn70
    I work in the surgery department which also includes endo. On one of my days off one of the endo nurses called to say she was coming by to drop off something I had ordered. I happen to be gone when she stopped by so my hubby answered the door. She had been eating a Dove ice cream bar on the way over and had a little bit of chocolate on her face. Rather then let her walk around like that, my hubby told her she had some brown stuff on her face. She wiped it off and then laughed as she told him "that's not a good thing to hear coming from where I just did"! He knew where she worked so that both got a good laugh out of it and still talk about it today. She quickly explained to him about the dove bar.
  9. by   sharpeimom
    Quote from BadBird
    That is so funny, I do the same thing with my husband, he warns me before we start to eat that he doesn't want to hear any bowel stories.
    Why not??? Reminds me of the time I brought the 3rd year ortho resident I was dating home for the weekend and my mom did a brunch for the family and a few close friends so they could meet him. Brunch was delightful and my parents were gracious hosts, and all was going well, until that fateful moment... He described in lurid detail, his trauma pt. who had been crushed in the trash compactor part of the garbage truck he drove and ended up having both legs and his dominant arm amputated. I can still visualize the patient thirty years later and I never saw him. That was one brunch that ended early!

  10. by   siouxsieyq
    I was a lil bit tearful after the birth of my second baby. I was young, now had two kids under age 3, and the baby had been readmitted for bili light therapy the day after we were discharged home... My husband went to my work to pick up my check and of course everyone asked how we were doing. I can only immagine the looks on my coworkers faces when he told em... "not good.... she's got that post mortum depression"
  11. by   Purple_Scrubs
    OMG now I have to clean my computer screen - "a tiki eye" and "post mortum depression"
  12. by   Lena202

  13. by   msjack
    This happened when I worked as a tech on a stepdown ICU floor. One day I saw a few of the nurses all huddled together hysterically laughing. So I went over to find out what was so funny. Well one of the interns or residents had written an order for K+ for the patient that had hypopotassemia. I believe he had even discussed with the patients nurse the order so not only did he write it, but he talked about it. Unbelievable :chuckle.