Doctors' Chart Bloopers

Nurses Humor

Published

Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

Father died in his 90's of female trouble in his prostate and kidneys.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Vomiting of unknown origin.

Admitted in error.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Dr. Blank is watching his prostate.

If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years it comes and goes.

Fit and well on invalids' benefit.

Anyone notice this thread started in 1999?

That may be, but this thread is still going strong in '09! lmao! just shows that nurses have been saving drs butts for 10 years now!

hahah...thanks for sharing...these are too funny. :yeah::rotfl::roll

How about "Put patient to bed with Happy ending."

Lol. This was for an alzheimer's patient, they MEANT to leave the room on a positive note.

really funny, can't stop laughing... thnx!!:p

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.
How about "Put patient to bed with Happy ending."

I hope they were talking about the sundae.

Specializes in ortho, hospice volunteer, psych,.

From a chart I read:... "patient's foot was amputated above the knee." huh?

Overheard two interns chatting over lunch. Mr. ___ was apparently healthy and in no apparent distress but still woke up dead.

sharpeimom:paw::paw:

Funny how they wake up dead, isn't it? Lol.

Specializes in mental health; hangover remedies.

ok - there are times I know the docs deliberately chart with tongue firmly in cheek... and this isn't necessarily a blooper at all...

On a secure psych ward , pt with chronic head injury (ABI) with poor impulse control frequently assaulted others when he felt angry - but was easily de-escalated and his underlying personality was very pleasant.

On one occasion he assaulted a co-pt; staff isolated him off the ward until psych review to assess risk and return him to the main unit. Entry went something like:

"Asked pt what happened and says he hit co-pt cos he was angry.

Asked if there was anything else he should have done.

Pt thought about this for a while and said "Yes".

Asked him what he should have done instead - he replied

"I should have head butted him"

....

A few orders I encountered this past July:

Transfuse PRBC as necessary to maintain HGB > 24

PVR: ISC if > 25

Dilaudid 4mg IVP; per pt request, give over 5 seconds.

MS Contin 45 mg TID. Instruct pt not to chew. May be crushed and mixed with food to aid swallowing.

Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer lady partslly.

Instruct pt's caregiver on color, consistancy and taste of C-dif feces.

Specializes in LTC/Rehab,Med/Surg, OB/GYN, Ortho, Neuro.
A few orders I encountered this past July:

Transfuse PRBC as necessary to maintain HGB > 24

PVR: ISC if > 25

Dilaudid 4mg IVP; per pt request, give over 5 seconds.

MS Contin 45 mg TID. Instruct pt not to chew. May be crushed and mixed with food to aid swallowing.

Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer lady partslly.

Instruct pt's caregiver on color, consistancy and taste of C-dif feces.

Wow, where to start w/ these :smackingf

Specializes in Medsurg/ICU, Mental Health, Home Health.
A few orders I encountered this past July:

Transfuse PRBC as necessary to maintain HGB > 24

I simply must know. What was it supposed to be?

Dilaudid 4mg IVP; per pt request, give over 5 seconds.

Hmm...how about you give it, doc...and hang around for a bit after? Thanks.

Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer lady partslly.

Nuh-uhh...

Instruct pt's caregiver on color, consistancy and taste of C-dif feces.

I had to read this one twice, then a third time before it sank into my head. I suppose the first task is finding a nurse who's tasted it.

Thanks, Mason...you made my morning!

*~Jess~*

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