Doctors' Chart Bloopers

Nurses Humor

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Patient has chest pain if she lies on her left side for over a year.

On the second day the knee was better and on the third day it had completely disappeared.

Father died in his 90's of female trouble in his prostate and kidneys.

Skin: Somewhat pale but present.

The pelvic examination will be done later on the floor.

Vomiting of unknown origin.

Admitted in error.

Patient was seen in consultation by Dr. Blank, who felt we should sit on the abdomen and I agree.

Large brown stool ambulating in the hall.

Patient has two teenage children but no other abnormalities.

Discharge status: Alive but without permission.

Dr. Blank is watching his prostate.

If he squeezes the back of his neck for 4 or 5 years it comes and goes.

I simply must know. What was it supposed to be?

At nearly every institution I know, the magic number to transfuse is HGB (hemoglobin) under 8.0; of course, this will vary per specific pt needs, but this is a common baseline.

Given that a HCT (hematocrit) is usually in the ballpark of 3x to 3.5x the HGB, it isn't unheard of for a MD to order transfusions to maintain a HCT of 24 to 28.

I was tempted, if only for a few seconds, to call blood bank and ask if there were any protocols I was unaware of for transfusing 16 units of PRBCs :lol2:

Specializes in Geriatrics, Home Health.

Kayexalate 30 mg PO. If pt is NPO, administer lady partslly.

What if my patient is male?

Specializes in Management, Emergency, Psych, Med Surg.

I had a physician describing a draining wound as "pu--y. I explained to him that he might want to reconsider writing this in the chart.

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