Abuse or Sacrificial Love? - page 3

Hello all. I tried to find the best forum possible but I just wasn't sure. Currently I'm a medical administration student. I'm not a nurse but I am seriously contemplating it for a time in the... Read More

  1. by   pocu123
    You guys are the best...... I need to hurry and get to the library to print this off so I'll have the information for reference. Don't want to lose or forget any of it.

    StevieLynn you are so on the money. I thought that maybe I sounded petty to everyone because it's hard to convey the true reality of a situation in "typing." I remember a few weeks after I got here. The little boy wanted an apple. Like always he asked permission before he went to get it. His dad screamed at him "Can't you see I'm playing a game?!" I was so disgusted I just went to my room. At that time, the little boy didn't even like me. (You know, new person, strange person. Kind of a threat to what he knows as normal.) He came to MY room and asked me if he could have an apple. This is a kid who usually didn't even talk to me. I went downstairs and I asked the dad if he could have an apple. And of course, at that moment, his voice changed instantly and he started the "gentle, sweet-talk" like he knew he was wrong and just got caught with his hand in the cookie-jar. He even came over to the fridge to get it for the little boy. Of course followed by the cute little praising pet names he calls his son when he's in a good mood.

    I am baby-sitting the two children today. As I said before they are 3 and 5. Overall they are good kids but they are going through their phases. However, they play so rough together. Their older brother (from a first marriage) will be here in the summer. He is 10. All three of them together are like watching WWF. I am so scared that they are going to treat my baby like a baby doll when the dad is playing his games and she's going to end up being tumped-over on the floor or they're going to try to pick her up without an adult right there. Man this situation is so jacked up.

    Have you ever been faced with so many options that you felt like you had no option? I am so overwhelmed I'm just not sure what to do. I will call some of the colleges as advised by some of you and see what they have to offer. That's about the only step I'm not completely confused about. Finding options is one thing, making decisions is a whole other ball-park.

    What really sucks is that half the time this guy is a really a great person to be around. I've never been in an abusive relationship so I don't know all of the aspects and the typical patterns enough to know if this is what happens. But the thing is, I hate to feel this way about him. He was my supervisor at one time and he took care of me like a supervisor should. I can remember one time when there was some inappropriate behavior in the workplace (some really offensive television shows being played in a military environment) and I was the only female. I took the problem to him and to my other supervisor and they stepped in and nipped it in the butt. I cannot for the life of me figure out how a person can be so completely "one-way" when they are with others and completely different with their own family. I think about the person I know outside of here or when he is in a decent mood and I feel guilty for even saying these things. Like I'm stabbing him in the back. On the other hand, is that all part of what insecure people with manipulating tendencies do? To fool other people and make them feel like they are wrong and he is the innocent one? His wife has confided in me and told me that before. It's like he can't stand for anyone outside the home, and now ME inside the home, to think that he is bad. I said all of that to come up with this interpretation - It's like he wants everyone to think that he is the innocent victim and his wife is the evil one and cause for all of their problems. He always did. Before I got to know her I believed him completely. THAT's what I was trying to say. Couldn't think of how to say it before. But I see it in a completely different light now that I am here.

    Can't remember who asked but my due-date is Feb 6th.

    It sounds like I'm making this into a Dear Abby forum. I didn't mean to twist your lovely nurse forums like this. :uhoh21: I suppose this is just a welcome vent. Thanks again for your time.
  2. by   Spidey's mom
    Quote from CRNASOMEDAY25
    Oh, you didn't know? Grown men play more video games than little boys! This irks me too.
    Yeah, I knew . ... . just strikes me as immature. Especially if you choose video games over reading a book to your kids or taking a walk. But then what do I know? I'm an old fogey.